The Path To My Soul
by cullen818
Summary: Jasper leaves the Cullens and rejoins Peter and Char, but unforeseen circumstances bring him back to Forks. Will he be able to pick up the pieces of his life and find happiness? What does Bella have to do with all of this? PART II NOW POSTING!
1. Chapter 1

*****Hmm…what's this? lol It was supposed to be my o/s for Fandom Gives Back Autism Effort, but no matter how hard I tried, and I did try, I couldn't fit this into the confines of a o/s. So, here we are…a SHORT multi-chapter J/B fic.**

*****Because it was intended as a o/s it won't be as long as a normal fic and my chapters will be shorter than what you're used to from me, but I'm trying to keep it to one POV a chapter. So, don't yell at me in a review that the chapter was too short! **

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and to TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for beta'ing this mess. And, to Jasper's Izzy…she always seems to inspire a rougher, darker Jasper.**

*****I don't own anything.**

**Jasper Whitlock**

I always liked the smell of autumn. The way the wood burned in the fireplace and how the white smoke made its way out of the chimney. The trees were starting to lose their colored leaves and the air was turning cooler. Fall always seem to put me at peace.

I hardly went out in the day anymore. I didn't have to. It had been a year since I left the coven I'd called my family for fifty years. Not only did I leave them, but I left a very good friend behind; at her request. I had to smile when I thought of all the years I'd spent with Alice and my adoptive family. The decades we spent going to high school and college, moving from place to place, so we wouldn't be discovered. Fifty years was hardly any time at all compared to the amount of time I'd walk this earth.

I enjoyed my time with the Cullens, but like all good things, the end had to come. It was inevitable, I guess. I had fought my own nature and instinct for so long and I often failed, but I tried because I thought it what was I wanted. And, some days, I really did want to act human. But, it was never as easy for me as it was for the others and that fateful night in September only served to prove I was not a Cullen. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it.

Alice saw it coming; she had to, even if she still wouldn't admit it. I could feel her lying to me. I decided I couldn't rely on her visions anymore. When she told me I should go, I didn't ask why, but I knew with every fiber of my being, it was time to move on. Edward had done it, so why couldn't I?

"Hey, Major," Peter called. "You comin'?"

I turned to find Peter and Char waiting for me to join them for their nightly hunt.

"You go ahead," I sighed. "I'm not really that thirsty."

"Jasper, that's ridiculous," Char scolded. "You haven't fed in two days. What's the problem?"

"You know what the problem is," I growled.

"Tone it down," Peter growled back, clearly not liking the way I spoke to his mate.

"Char." I ran my fingers through my hair. "I apologize."

"It's okay." She smiled. "Look, I'm not an empath, so I have no idea how hard it must be for you to feel what their last emotions are, but Jasper, we're vampires. It's not our fault we have to live off their blood. Maybe we could try the homeless shelter again?"

I shook my head. She was trying to help, but I was beyond that now. We tried homeless shelters in the hopes that it wouldn't make me feel so bad to take their lives. But, that didn't work because it wasn't always their fault they were homeless and I could feel all of their low self-esteem and lack of self-worth. It was horrible. Then I started seeking out suicidal people, figuring I could help them in their quest to end it all, but then, I could feel their desperation and only wanted to help them by talking out their problems. I was pleased to say I helped four people get into treatment. Living amongst the humans for so long made me a little too civilized. I was stuck in the middle. Couldn't be satisfied with animal blood, but felt too guilty to feed from humans.

"Char," Peter said. "You go hunt. I need to talk to Jasper. We'll catch up with you later."

"Okay, baby." She leaned into him and gave him a very passionate and lusty kiss.

I smirked and looked away. One of the things I liked most about hanging out with Peter and Char was getting to experience how much they loved one another. They were truly mated in every sense of the word, and a part of me longed for what they had.

"It'll be okay, Jasper." She quickly kissed my cheek and headed off into the night.

"Alright, fess up," Peter demanded.

"What?"

"Alice called you again, didn't she?"

I nodded.

"What did she want this time?" he asked, clearly exasperated.

"Same thing she's wanted the last six times she called," I told him.

"To go to fuckin' Forks?"

"Yes," I said. "She keeps saying I need to go back and find what I lost."

"Cryptic bitch!"

"Like you have any room to talk," I said. "You've got to be the most cryptic vampire I've ever met."

"I tell you what you need to know," he countered. "And, now I'm gonna tell you to listen to the fortune teller."

"What?"

"You need to go back to Forks," he said. "It's the only thing that's gonna save your ass."

"No." I shook my head. "I left nothing behind, I lost nothing and I don't need to go back. If you don't want me to tag along with you and Char anymore then I understand."

"Fuck you," he hissed. "How could you think we don't want you? You're my brother and I'd die for you."

I felt the sincerity in his words.

"I know," I whispered.

"All I'm saying is, ever since Alice started calling you, you've changed. You were fine when you came back to me and Char. You stepped right back into the nomad way of life. It was all natural for you and I saw that spark in your eyes again, the one that had been missing when you were playing house with the good doctor and his family of freaky vamps."

"Carlisle's a good man." I still felt guilty for abandoning his way of life after everything he did for me.

"I'm not saying otherwise, but the life he has created isn't for all of us," he continued. "You tried and it didn't work. But, now Alice is stirring the pot and you've changed. You are the most emo vamp I've ever seen. Char and I are depressed and half the time we don't know why."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't mean to project."

"We know you can't help it." He leaned against the old oak in front of their house. "Anyway, Alice might be on to something. I think you should go back to Forks and see what's goin' on. If nothing comes of it, then so be it."

"She said if I went back, I should go by way of Seattle, and you and Char should come that far with me," I told him.

I felt his curiosity.

"She said there was something there that might interest the three of us." I shrugged my shoulders. "You don't necessarily have to come to Forks, just Seattle."

"Now I'm intrigued." He smiled. "What's in Seattle?"

"I don't know," I said. "She wouldn't say."

"Of course not," he sighed.

"I told her I didn't want her extra intuition interfering in my life anymore, so now she's got me on a need to know basis. She's just like you."

He snickered. "I tell you the important stuff and my knowledge isn't subjective. But, I think we should go to Seattle and then Char and I will take a little trip while you head to Forks. We'll meet back up in a few weeks and hopefully you'll be fixed."

"I'm not broken." I laughed.

"Well, you ain't exactly right," he said. "Maybe Forks is what you need. Will any of the others be there?"

"Nope, just me," I said. "Maybe she thinks I need time to reflect? I left a lot of my war books, journals and movies there, so maybe it'll be like a mini-vacation."

"I don't think so, but either way, it'll give you some time to work through whatever's going on with you. You need to figure out who you are."

"I'm Jasper Whitlock," I said with conviction.

"Oh Major, I so want to believe that."

_So did I. _

As much as I hated to admit it, Alice and Peter were right. In all of my years as a vampire, I'd never felt so lost and alone. Not even toward the end with Maria. It was disturbing. Maybe the time alone in Forks would help me get it together.

"Okay," I agreed.

"We're going on a road trip?" He smiled.

"Yeah." I nodded. "We leave after we hunt."

"Cool!" He pushed me down and tackled me.

I sprang to my feet and threw him across the yard and into a pile of leaves. I smiled because even though I hadn't fed in two days, I was still the stronger vamp.

"Smug bastard," he whispered as he picked the leaves out of his hair.

*****Hmm…I wonder what's in Forks?**

*****So, there you have it…I'm back to my vampy roots. I hope you liked what I started.**

**Come hang out with me on the Twiwrite forums…** **twiwrite dot net/forums/viewtopic dot php?f=11&t=117 Link is on my profile page. **


	2. Chapter 2

*****Wow! You guys totally rock my boring little world. Thanks for all the comments, PM's, forum posts, tweets, pings and alerts. I hope I can live up to the hype. lol**

*****Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and TwiCarol for making this sparkle. And, to Lady Tazz for pre-reading. **

*****I don't own a thing.**

**Bella Swan**

_He left me standing in the woods, alone and afraid. It was cold and dark, and the more I searched for him, the more anxious I became. How was I going to find him? As the night wore on, I became disoriented and before I knew it I was lost. My heart was filled with despair as I dropped to my knees and lay my face against the forest floor. He was gone and I knew deep down I would never be whole again. As I lay there desperate and scared, I gave up. I had lost my reason for living._

One year later…

It hadn't been an easy road to recovery, but with much therapy and the support of Charlie and Jake, I was rebuilding my life. I enrolled in the local community college because I still had too many reservations about leaving Forks. Something kept telling me I was supposed to stay here. I wasn't sure why, but I felt like a certain chapter in my life wasn't done.

So much had happened to me since I first came to live with my dad. I was no longer that innocent girl who was naive to the supernatural world. Thanks to the Cullens, I now knew things went bump in the night. I also knew that vampires existed, and not just the animal drinking kind either. And, if learning about the existence of vampires wasn't enough, there were werewolves out there too. Jake tried to keep that from me, but when a girl spent that much time around a pack of unruly boys, she was bound to learn the truth.

Jake and his friends coddled me because I was fragile. Charlie worried about me incessantly, and after they found me in the woods, I upset him to the point where I made him sick. I literally shut down. I wouldn't talk, eat, sleep, or feel. It all hurt too much and I found that if I shut myself off from the world, made myself numb, I couldn't get hurt. It wasn't until I started hearing_ his_ voice did I realize there was a serious problem. At first, I would do things to make him come to me because it was the only thing that could momentarily pull me from the darkness, but the more I tried to find him, the more I ended up hurting myself.

Charlie finally put his foot down and made me see a therapist. It wasn't an easy task because I had to keep my thoughts guarded. I couldn't exactly tell the doctor that my ex-boyfriend was a vampire, but once I learned how to get past that obstacle, I found the weekly sessions were helping me and I was getting better. Not whole, because I was already convinced that could never happen, but I was now able to get up every day and push forward. And, the fact that my first thought every morning was not how I could end it all, but how I could carry on was tremendous progress.

But now, here I was, standing in front of that beautiful home, the one with all the windows, in the middle of the woods. I hadn't been there since my eighteenth birthday; the night I lost everything.

Earlier today, I'd fallen asleep on my couch while I was watching TV with Jake. Sam must have stopped by because when I woke up, I heard them on the front step talking about how one of the cold ones had returned. At first, I panicked because when Laurent found me in the field, he told me Victoria was coming for me, but that had yet to happen. Then I realized they were talking about one of the Cullens.

_Which one was it?_

Why after all of this time would one of them come back? And, why only one of them?

_Was it Edward?_

Did he finally come to his senses and realize he'd made a huge mistake by walking away from me? Well, he had another thing coming if he thought he could waltz back into my life.

Perhaps it was Alice, my so-called BFF. Did she come to apologize for leaving without so much as a goodbye? Surely she had to see what I'd gone through this past year? How much I struggled to keep my head above water.

I tried to put it out of my mind. Jake wanted to storm the house and rid Forks of yet another vampire, but Sam reminded him of the treaty and the fact that the Cullens were animal drinkers, so the wolves had no right to attack them. Jake tried to contain his anger, but when he phased and took off it was because he was furious for me. He didn't want them here anymore than I did. I didn't want to hurt anymore.

My curiosity got the better of me as I slowly walked up to the front door. I lightly knocked, feeling slightly ridiculous, because if a vampire was here, they'd know I was too. No one answered, but I continued to wait.

What did I hope to gain from this? If I did come face to face with Edward, what would I say?

After much back and forth, I decided the risk of losing my sanity again just wasn't worth it. I didn't care if one or all of them came back. They had abandoned me, leaving me defenseless against Laurent and Victoria. I didn't need them anymore than they needed me.

Just as I was about to turn and leave, I felt a frigid hand cover my mouth and a stone like arm wrap around my waist. I tried to struggle out of the vice-like grip, but it was no use. Before I realized what was happening, I was sitting on the sofa in the living room and he was pacing the room at an inhuman speed. When he finally slowed down and I got a good look at him, my fear spiked. If there was one Cullen that frightened me, it was Jasper.

His head snapped in my direction and then he was suddenly standing on the opposite side of the room.

I started to get up, but quickly sat back down when he yelled,

"Don't move!" He looked wild and a little unstable.

"Jas," I swallowed hard. "Jasper, what are you doing here?"

"I don't know," he said. "She said I had to come, but wouldn't tell me why." He seemed confused and disoriented.

I shifted in my seat and tried to settle down, but he was making me nervous.

"Alice?" I whispered. "She told you to come?"

He nodded.

I stood up.

"I told you not to move," he yelled again. "Your fear and anxiety, it's too much. Give me a minute to focus."

I sat on the sofa and waited for him to settle down. A few seconds later, I felt calm and tranquil.

"Did you do that?" I asked.

He nodded as he gripped the back of the chair he was standing in front of.

"Are you alone?" I asked.

He nodded again and I could see the pain in his eyes, and the fact that they weren't golden anymore hadn't escaped me.

_What had happened to him?_

"Don't pity me," he said. "I never belonged with them anyway."

"You don't drink from animals anymore." It wasn't a question.

He shook his head. "Not since your eighteenth birthday."

"Oh," I gasped.

"It's not your fault," he said. "It was bound to happen. It's who I am, who I've always been."

He looked so sad and full of pain. I saw the remorse in his face. I didn't know how I knew, but I did.

"It's not who you want to be," I whispered.

In an instant, he was hovering over me with his hand around my throat, pushing me back on the couch.

"How do you know what I want?" He leaned down and started to sniff me as he closed his eyes and smiled. He tightened his grip on my neck and now I was struggling to breathe. "I've thought of your scent ever since you cut yourself. I've wondered what you'd taste like on my tongue. Even now, I can almost feel your warm blood sliding down my throat. You're the one human I can't have."

As I gasped for air, I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. Last year at this time, I would have wanted nothing more than for him to end my life, but not now. Not after I'd come so far and pulled myself out of the darkness. This wasn't the way I wanted to go.

"Please!" I managed to choke out. His eyes were a darker shade of red now, if that were possible, and they held so much fury.

I took a deep breath when I realized his hand was no longer at my throat. I could still feel the lingering pain his fingers left behind and there'd be bruises later, but he had released me. He was standing on the other side of the room again, running his hands through his now shoulder length dark blond hair.

"Go!" he whispered so low I almost missed it.

I sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes. He looked so far gone. A rational person would have ran out of there and never looked back, but no one would accuse me of being rational, and there was something about him that I just couldn't leave. I recognized the despair in his soul because it was the same pain I dealt with everyday. He was just as lost as I was. In the few minutes we were together it was all so clear to me. He must have been spiraling out of control at the same time I was. Could my disastrous birthday party have marked a turning point for both of us?

He had changed so much in the past year. His hair was longer, and his clothes weren't as neat and clean as they used to be. He looked worn and rough around the edges. His face held a hint of danger. This wasn't the Jasper I knew. He was no longer the sophisticated, refined Cullen. He was something entirely different and it intrigued me. As I continued to stare at him, my heart rate increased, but not from fear.

_Maybe there was something wrong with me._

He looked in my direction and I could feel the stain of embarrassment heating my cheeks. He could feel what I was feeling, even if I didn't understand what was coming over me.

"You're a strange creature, Isabella," he said. "I think you should leave now before it's too late."

"Too late for what?" I asked.

"Don't provoke me," he said.

"If you wanted to bite me, you would have done it already."

"Don't be so sure," he whispered. "Leave and don't come back here. It wasn't me you were looking for anyway."

"No, you were the last one I expected to find here," I said. "But, now that I'm here, I want to know what happened to the rest of the Cullens."

"He's not coming back to you," he said. "And, I can't lead you to him."

"I don't want him." I stood up and walked toward him.

"Bella," he said as he held his hand up. "Don't come any closer."

"Why?"

"I haven't fed today and my throat is on fire. You have no idea how difficult it was for me to release you a few seconds ago." he said. "I want you to leave."

"Not until you give me some answers. There has to be a reason why Alice sent you here. Maybe you could give me some closure."

He arched a brow at me.

"My shrink says I need it."

He smirked. "What else does he say?"

"That I don't love Edward," I said. "I was in love with the idea of Edward."

"Yeah, like I believe that." But, then he stopped and focused in on me. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but the way he was staring at me with those blood red eyes was a bit unsettling.

"Jasper?"

"Shh," he mumbled. "Just keep thinking about Edward."

"What? Why? I really try not to think about him if I don't have to."

"Amazing," he muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"You followed him around like a lost puppy," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"He was your end all, be all. I felt how intrigued and taken you were by him. Your feelings were so strong that even I mistook them for true love."

"What are you talking about?"

"When you speak of Edward now, I feel betrayal, loneliness, desperation and anxiety."

"What's your point?" One shrink was already one too many.

"I don't feel any love anywhere. Not even any residual love. Your doctor is right; you were in love with the idea of Edward."

"Well, at least we know Charlie's money is being put to good use."

He laughed, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"You look tired," I said. "How is that possible?"

"I'm thirsty but because of a stupid treaty, I can't feed here."

"Yes, you can," I reminded him as I pointed toward the woods. "If you drink from an animal, you won't be breaking any treaty."

"How do you know what I'm talking about?" he asked.

"I'm friends with Jake Black, Sam and some of the others," I told him. "So, I know if you feed from animals they can't harm you."

"No, I'm just gonna leave here and feed when I get out of Forks," he said. "I don't need the wolves up my ass."

"No! You can't leave," I blurted out. But, I wasn't sure why I was trying to keep him here.

He stared at me again, squinting his eyes, deep in thought.

"Look," I said. "I don't know what it is, but I really think there's a reason you're supposed to be here. I don't think Alice would've sent you here if she didn't see you doing something important."

"You're not afraid of me," he said. "Why?"

"Ah, did I hurt your vampy ego?" I laughed.

He ignored my attempt at humor.

"When you first saw me, you were terrified and just a few minutes ago, you were scared to death. I thought you were going to go into cardiac arrest with the way your heart was beating out of your chest."

"Well, you did try to attack me," I reminded him. "But, when you pulled back, I realized you didn't want to hurt me."

"Is there something wrong with you?" he asked.

"Probably a lot of things." I shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

"Why do I ask?" He whispered as he ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. "You don't even realize how in danger you are of losing your life, do you?"

"I've been in worse situations," I told him. "And, they all seemed to work out." I headed toward the door, but quickly felt him move past me and stand in front of it.

"I have to go before Charlie puts out an APB on me," I explained. "You should go hunt, um, animals, and I'll come back tomorrow."

"No!" he growled. "Don't come back." He opened the door and extended his hand for me to go. "I won't be here."

"I don't believe that." I smiled. "See you soon."

I ran down the steps and to my car with a spring in my step I didn't think I'd ever had. I smiled and waved to Jasper, who was still watching me from the window. He shook his head and then turned and disappeared.

There was a reason he was here, for that I was certain. Now, I just needed to figure out what it was.

*****Maybe Jasper should run…**


	3. Chapter 3

*****Thanks for reading and commenting. Many of you have questions and I'll try to answer as many as I can as I weave the plot. Occasionally, I may throw in a short drabble/blurb just to bridge the gaps.**

*****Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and Twi-Carol for beta'ing so fast and to Lady Tazz for pre-reading.**

*****I still don't own anything pertaining to Twilight unless you include this unhealthy obsession… I'm afraid that's all mine.**

**Jasper**

_Idiot human child!_

Wasn't it bad enough she ruined Edward's miserable life? Now she thought she was going to save me? I didn't need her help. I needed to get the hell out of here. I was doing okay roaming the country-side with Peter and Char. It was just like old times, but then Alice called and insisted I come back here. Normally, I wouldn't have listened, but then she started spewing some bullshit about how I owed her after all the years she put up with my fuckery. I hated to admit it, but I still had a soft spot for Alice, even if we weren't together anymore.

I watched from the window as Bella hopped in that deathtrap of a truck of hers, smiled and waved at me.

_Fuckin' waved!_

I shook my head, let out a low growl and stepped away from the window. She was throwing off so many emotions in the little bit of time she was here, but when she left, I felt anticipation and hope.

_What the hell?_

What could she possibly think I had to offer her? I was a big part of the reason her life was in such a shambles in the first place. She should take this opportunity to run fast and far.

I thought back to how I'd gotten here in the first place. After Bella's catastrophic birthday party, Alice and I decided to end the charade and call it quits. We'd been together for so many years, but deep down we both knew we weren't true mates. We loved each other, we enjoyed one another's company and we were compatible, but after feeling that fiery passion Rose and Em had, the undying devotion of Carlisle and Esme and the depths of Peter and Char's love, I knew it wasn't the same with Alice. She always agreed she saw different lives for us in the future, but the future always seemed a long way off and it was just easier for us to stay together.

I went to Texas and took up my old lifestyle with Peter and Char, but it didn't take me long to remember why Alice found me alone and desperate in Philadelphia in the first place. I loved my brother and his mate, but their nomadic way of life was a bit draining.

_Ironic? _

Feeding from humans did things to a man, especially when that man was an empath. Yes, I craved and indulged in human blood, and as satiating as it all was, it never left me feeling satisfied emotionally. I hated dealing with my victims final emotions. But, I was a vampire, and we lived off blood, so what choice did I have?

Every time I asked myself that question, one name came to mind…

_Carlisle_

He taught us we had a choice, and I knew how disappointed he was I'd strayed from the family. But, after living so many years going against what was natural, I felt I owed it to be true to myself.

Too bad it didn't work out the way I wanted, I thought as I stood over the two large elk I'd just taken down.

_Idiot human child…_

As promised, Bella came a knockin' at my door the next night. I no sooner opened it and she was stumbling through with what appeared to be an overnight bag on her shoulder and two large grocery bags in her arms.

"Hey," she said as she shoved the bags into my arms, stopping to stare into my eyes. "There's gold around the edges. How'd that happen?"

"I fed from two elk," I told her. "It'll take a while before my golden eye color comes back completely."

"Hmm," she continued to stare. "Freaky."

"What's all this?" I looked down at the bags that were now in my hands.

"Groceries," she said. "I figured since I'd be spending the weekend, I'd need to be able to eat."

_What the fuck?_

"Spending the weekend? That's not a good idea."

_Was she out of her mind?_

"Sure it is." She smiled as she dropped her bag in the foyer and headed to the kitchen. I followed her like some stray cat. "I told Charlie I was spending the weekend with some girls I met at school and he was thrilled, so he won't be looking for me."

"Maybe it's not too late for you to catch up with those girls?" I put the bags on the counter. No way did I want her here all weekend. She smelled too damn good, and by now it was as if I never even fed. She immediately started emptying the groceries onto the counter.

"They don't really exist," she said. "I don't have any friends other than Jake and the guys."

"Why not?"

"It's hard for me to trust people," she said.

"Maybe you should go discuss that with your shrink?" I noted. "You could probably get in to see him tonight if you really tried. I'm sure I could dazzle him into it."

"You're so funny." She laughed as she hit my arm. She shook out her hand because she felt the impact more than I did.

I didn't get her at all. Why would she risk being around me?

"Jasper," she said. "I've been thinking."

_Oh, dear God!_

"Maybe you're here for me," she said. "Maybe we need one another. You know, because we're both so alone and all."

"I don't think that's it at all," I said.

"You don't think? So, you're not sure why you're here, so you could be here for me?"

_What?_

I could feel how excited and thrilled she was by that notion. I didn't know why, but I felt bad to burst her little Bella bubble.

"I suppose," I unenthusiastically answered. "But, really, why would I be here for you? You seem to be doing just fine without me."

"Hmm." She smiled, but I felt her loneliness. She was right, it mirrored my own.

"Bella," I started, but she stopped me because she was afraid I was going to tell her to leave.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" she asked.

I stared at her for a few moments, but couldn't find it within my dead heart to turn her away. "Fine," I sighed. "Let's go. What's two hours when you have an eternity?"

"Cool!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall to the family room. She was full of excitement and enthusiasm.

She plopped down on the couch and patted for me to sit next to her.

"I can stand," I told her.

"To watch a movie?"

"I don't need to sit," I reminded her.

"Well, I need you to sit because it'll be too weird if you stand."

"Fine," I huffed. She was becoming a bigger inconvenience than I initially thought. Why I didn't bolt from this sleepy little town yesterday was beyond me.

"No!" She screamed when I headed for the recliner in the corner of the room.

"What is it now?" She was really trying my patience.

"Next to me." She smiled as she patted the spot next to her again.

"This is why you have no friends," I said as I reluctantly sat down next to her. "You're far too demanding. Much more than I remember."

"You didn't know me that well before you left," she said. "But, I'm not that girl you all left behind." I felt her sadness and desperation. She wasn't over us leaving her behind and I had to wonder if that had to do with Edward abandoning her.

About an hour into the movie, Bella's head started to bob back and forth, and I could feel her drifting off. She rested her head against my shoulder. I looked down at her sleeping against me and for the briefest of seconds it felt… right. Almost as if she belonged there.

_What the fuck?_

I pushed her off me and moved to the other side of the couch.

"Hmm," she said as she woke up. "Sorry."

"Maybe it's time for you to go home now," I suggested.

"Charlie's working late," she said. "And, Jake took off yesterday and hasn't come back."

I felt how alone she was.

"Are you alone often?"

She nodded.

"It's fine." She managed a small smile, but she was anything but happy. "I'm used to it."

She got up and headed for the door, grabbing the bag she'd left in the foyer on her way in.

"Where are you going?"

"I've taken up too much of your time," she said. "I know you don't want me here."

"Well, okay," I said feeling like a jerk, but it was better if she left.

"Thanks for watching the movie with me," she said as she reached for the door handle. "And, for humoring me." It was very clear to me that all she was looking for was some companionship. I just couldn't be what she was looking for to fill this void in her life.

"Wait!" I moved to stand directly in front of her. I was so close, too close. I could feel her warm breath on my face.

She looked up at me with those big brown eyes but she didn't say anything, just waited for me to speak.

"Listen," I said. "It isn't that I don't want you here, it's just you shouldn't get attached to me."

"Oh, get over yourself, Jasper Hale."

"Whitlock," I mumbled. "And, I'm not full of myself, I'm an empath, do you know what that means?"

She nodded, feeling embarrassed.

"I already feel you becoming attached to me."

"And, you don't reciprocate," she said.

"No." I shook my head.

"Oh, well, then I won't take up anymore of your time." She smiled and waited for me to move out of the way. "It was nice seeing you though."

She was so sad and disappointed. It physically hurt me. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Bella, it's not a good idea for you to spend the night here. I don't trust myself with you in the house all night. You smell really good and if you were to cut yourself, I don't think I could stop and this time Emmett and Carlisle won't be here to save you."

"That wasn't your fault," she whispered. "You're a vampire and I was bleeding. I never blamed you."

She was telling the truth.

"Yes, well, that night changed everything, didn't it?"

She nodded. "But, maybe we needed that change."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore," I said.

"You're not hurting me," she whispered. "I was looking forward to coming here tonight."

"I know and those kinds of feelings will only end badly for you," I said. "I don't plan on staying around much longer."

"Hmm." I felt her determination. "Do you think you'll be here tomorrow?"

"Probably," I sighed.

Her excitement crashed into me so hard it almost knocked me back.

"You're extremely stubborn."

"I know." She giggled and it sounded so cute.

_Cute? Ah, fuck!_

"I'll come back tomorrow, since you'll still be here."

"Fine!" I growled.

She lowered her eyes and bit her lip. Her face was flushed and I noticed her nipples were straining against her t-shirt.

_Are you kidding me?_

She was aroused.

"Bye, Jasper."

I slowly moved out of her way and watched as she walked out to her truck. She took a deep breath and pushed the hair from her face before she opened the door and sped off.

Humans were supposed to fear my growl, not be turned on by it. She had to be the strangest girl I'd ever encountered. I listened as her truck made its way down the dirt path, but I wanted to make sure she got home safely. It was late and her father wasn't home, so I didn't see the harm in me checking in on her, especially with the unfortunate luck she had.

I took off through the woods, following her scent, staying a safe distance behind her. Once she pulled into her street and was securely in the house, I decided to do a perimeter check. What I was looking for, I had no idea, but the Major in me wanted to cover all bases. Once I was satisfied with the outcome of my sweep, I headed to the tree line of her backyard and watched her bedroom window. She was getting ready for bed.

I stayed for a few minutes more, not exactly understanding why I felt the need to make sure she was safe, but each time I tried to leave, my feet seemed to stay planted firmly in the ground. This was ridiculous. She had gotten along just fine without me for nineteen years, so why did I think she needed me now?

Just as I was about to leave, the stench of dog assaulted my nostrils. I let out a low, territorial growl. I didn't want the wolves anywhere near Bella.

I turned and faced the intruders, but to my surprise they weren't in wolf form; just two men standing before me, well one was actually a boy.

"What are you doing here, bloodsucker?" the younger one asked.

"Seth," the older one scolded. "Please excuse my friend, he's young and automatically thinks that all cold ones are enemies."

I nodded.

"I'm Sam and this is Seth," he said. "We're friends of Bella's and we check on her every night."

"Why?"

"She's very unlucky when it comes to the supernatural," Sam answered.

_How could I disagree?_

"And, we don't want to see her get hurt," Seth said. "So, leave her alone."

I definitely didn't like them staking some sort of claim to Bella.

"I'm not here to hurt her," I said. "She left my house and I wanted to make sure she got home safely."

I could feel their skepticism over my words.

"Why was she at your house?" Sam asked.

"She was visiting," I said.

"Well, maybe it would be best if you left Forks," he said. "Bella doesn't need any more aggravation from your kind."

"That's not your call to make." I said.

"I'm the one who found Bella in the woods the night your brother left her alone and afraid," Sam said. "I carried her catatonic body back to her father. I watched as she fell apart." I could feel how much he cared for her.

"He left her alone in the woods?" I asked, incredulously.

"Don't act like you care," Seth said.

"She's healing now and she's trying to move on from that incident," Sam informed me. "So, if you genuinely care for her well being, you should leave her alone."

"I'll leave, like I said, I was just making sure she got home without incident."

"Thank you," Sam said. "But, we can manage from here."

I took off into the woods. I ran as far and as fast as I could. I didn't want to hear her heartbeat anymore tonight. It was a distraction I didn't need.

He left her alone in the woods. What kind of asshole leaves a human girl alone in the woods, defenseless and unprotected? He knew better than any of us what was out there. No wonder she came seeking us out yesterday. She was hurt and afraid and we left her. She trusted all of us.

Sam was right; she didn't need any more aggravation from us. I should leave her alone. The only problem was I didn't think I could leave her. Just thinking about it caused me great discomfort.

_Fuck Me!_

*****Or me... lol**

*****If you want a teaser leave me love.**


	4. Chapter 4

*****You continue to blow me away! That's all…**

*****Thanks to my two lovely betas. I'm still not sure why you continue to put up with me, but I'm glad you do. And, now I've pulled poor Lady Tazz into the mix…thanks for pre-reading.**

**Bella**

He didn't want me hanging around, but I was so tired of feeling unwanted and rejected. Most of the time he was put off by me, but every so often he showed some flicker of hope. I was lonely and for some strange reason, I felt comfortable and at home with him. So, I wasn't giving up on this friendship. Whether he believed it or not, he needed me too.

It was stupid to set myself up like this because he could leave at any time. He so much as warned me he wouldn't be staying in Forks, but I still wanted to be near him. I was an idiot when it came to vampires, so why break the streak now?

I walked up to the front door, but Jasper pulled it open before I could knock.

"You're back," he said as he widened the door for me to enter.

"I told you I'd stop by today."

"So you did." He walked into the family room and sat on the floor by the fire. "Take your jacket off, it's wet and come warm up over here."

It was a cold, damp rainy day and I was chilly. I joined him by the fire and then realized he must have been waiting for me. Why else would he have a fire going? He certainly didn't need it.

"That feels nice," I said as I extended my palms out in front of the fire. "We don't have a fireplace."

He didn't say anything as he looked me over for a few seconds. I pushed the hair from my face and glanced down at my clothes. They weren't designer, but I didn't think I looked too bad. I shifted my position so I was sitting with my legs straight out in front of me.

"You're uncomfortable today," he noted. "Why is that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. He was right, I was feeling uneasy, but it wasn't until he started staring at me that I felt awkward.

"Your eyes have more gold in them today," I noticed.

"I hunted this morning," he said.

"How's that going for you?"

"Easier than I thought it'd be," he said. "It was always hard for me to keep the animal diet but I don't seem to be struggling."

We sat quietly for a few minutes, but the silence was unnerving, so I decided to ask him some questions.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, Bella," he answered. "Your curiosity is going to aggravate me, isn't it?"

"Probably." I laughed. "But, you're already so put off by me anyway, so I might as well ask."

He smirked.

And, that smirk was just as sexy as when he growled yesterday.

_Shit! He can feel that._

He cleared his throat. "You had a question?"

"Why did you leave the Cullens?"

"It was time for me to go," he answered.

"You won't elaborate?"

"No, but I feel your guilt, so I'll tell you it had nothing to do with you."

"But, you and Alice seemed so in love," I said. "Did I imagine that?"

"No." He shook his head. "I love Alice, I mean really, how could I not? But, it wasn't the kind of love that keeps two vampires together for eternity. We always knew that."

"She wasn't your mate?"

"No," he said. "She is a very good friend and she helped me through a very difficult time in my life."

"What happened?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter," he said.

"I'd like to get to know you better, but I don't know anything about you other than the charade you played out the last time you were here. Carlisle didn't create you, so who did?"

He thought for a few minutes, and I didn't think he was going to tell me anything, but finally he spoke. His voice was soft, and he had a wounded look on his face. I immediately figured out that his past was probably something he didn't like to discuss.

"Her name was Maria." His eyes were so distant when he said her name. "I was serving in the Civil War. I was a Major. I enlisted at the age of seventeen."

When he spoke of his service record, he beamed with pride. I could tell it meant a great deal to him. He continued on with his story, but the more he told me, the sadder I became. I was so intrigued by his beginnings as a vampire. I had no idea anything like his past existed. Maria sounded like such an evil bitch. She used him for his gift and made him do things that no vampire should have to do. My heart broke for him, but I smiled when he got to the part about the diner in Philadelphia.

"It's a love story." I smiled.

"It was," he said. "In the beginning."

"So, why didn't it last?"

"It wasn't meant to," he said. "Alice was always up front with me about that. We served a purpose in one another's lives. We needed each other then, and I'll always have a special place in my heart for her as I'm sure she does for me, but everything happens for a reason. Alice brought me to the Cullens at a time when I needed them most. I probably wouldn't be here today, if not for them."

"But, you left them," I said. "Why?"

"It was time to go," he simply said.

"So, are they all still together?" I asked.

"Not all of them." He got up and walked around the room, stopping to look out the window. "Edward left shortly after we all left Forks. As far as I know, he hasn't returned home yet, but I'm sure he will."

"How can you be so sure?"

"He needs his coven. He adores Esme and Alice and he looks up to Carlisle. He truly sees him as his father. And, he likes having Em and Rose around too."

"And you?" I stood next to him by the window. "Will he be disappointed you're not there too?"

He stepped away from me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm trying to get used to your scent, but when we're together for a long period of time, it's hard for me. My throat burns, so I try to create some distance."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I can leave if it's too much." I really didn't want to go, but I didn't want to push him over the edge and have him attack me either.

_That would kinda suck._

"No," he said. "I'm okay for now."

"Good." I smiled as I sat down on the couch. "So, will Edward be upset you left?"

"I don't know. He knew Alice and I weren't mated because he could read it in our thoughts. So, he probably knew I wouldn't stick around forever."

"So, what are your plans now?" I wasn't sure I really wanted to know, but I asked anyway.

"I'll probably go back to Texas with Peter and Char."

"Oh," I mumbled.

"Sorry if that disappoints you," he said.

_Stupid empath!_

"Do you like staying with them?" I asked. "In Texas?"

"Yes, they're my family."

"Then why would you come back to Forks to be alone? That doesn't make sense. If you were so happy in your nomad life, feeding from humans and roaming the country, why would you come back to a place that offered nothing for you? You can't even feed the way you want to here."

"I'm wondering that myself." He sat down on the couch, just inches from where I was seated. "I can't seem to leave though."

"Why?" I swallowed hard. His close proximity was making my head spin.

"Alice said I'd find what I'd lost here," he said. "But, I don't know what it is I lost in the first damn place."

"Maybe I could help you…" Before I could finish, his head snapped in the direction of the window. He closed his eyes and inhaled and then let out a low, threatening growl. This time it wasn't sexy. It actually frightened me.

He stopped and stared at me for a moment, but he looked scary, almost like he was ready to attack. His lips were pulled over his teeth and he continued to growl.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Wolves," he hissed.

"What?"

"They're approaching the door." He stood up. "Four of them in human form."

"I don't think they're here for you." I stood up and headed for the door, but Jasper was in front of me in an instant.

"It's okay," I whispered.

"Bella Swan!" Jake screamed from the front porch. "You better come out of that bloodsucker's house before I come in to get you!"

Jasper growled louder.

"Stop it!" I pleaded. "I don't want them to phase. Let me talk to them."

He didn't move. "You're not going out there with four angry wolves."

"Please." I bit my bottom lip, hoping he'd give in. I really didn't want to see anyone get hurt over my new friendship.

He rolled his eyes and moved out of the way. I opened the door and stormed out onto the porch and sure enough Jake, Sam, Embry and Paul were standing there shirtless with their arms crossed over their chests.

"Jacob Black! What the hell are you doing here?" I screamed.

"Protecting you, since you're too stupid to do it yourself!" he yelled back.

Jasper stepped out onto the porch and stood in front of me.

_What was he doing?_

"Back off, cold one," Embry warned.

"Bella, what are you thinking?" Jake asked.

"I'm just visiting with an old friend," I said over Jasper's shoulder.

"An old friend. Do you remember what these vamps did to you?" he asked.

"Jasper didn't leave me," I reminded him. "He's not responsible for Edward."

"Excuse me," Jake said. "But wasn't he the one who tried to drain you over a paper cut?"

"It's time for you to go, dog," Jasper said.

"Not without Bella," Jake countered. "Don't make me drag you outta here."

"You won't make it passed me!" Jasper growled.

"Maybe you can't count, but you seemed to be outnumbered," Paul said.

"Stop it!" I yelled. "Everybody just calm down. Jasper, can you do that? Help me restore some peace?"

"Fine," he whispered and in a few seconds, the wolves backed down and didn't look as angry.

"Thank you." I stepped around Jasper.

"Jake," I started, but he interrupted.

"What did he do to me?" he asked.

"He's just keeping things calm so we can talk," I said.

"Make him stop," he spoke through gritted teeth.

"I will, but first you need to understand I'm just here visiting. Jasper won't hurt me."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked.

"I just am," I said. "So, you'll have to trust me."

"Bella," Jake said. "His kind has been nothin' but trouble for you. And, you know Victoria is after you, so why would you associate with a vamp that could lead her right to you?"

"Victoria?" Jasper said. "How do you know she's after Bella?"

"I'm not talkin' you," Jake said.

"Stop it!" I yelled. "I ran into Laurent a few months ago and he told me she was looking for me."

"What do you mean you ran into Laurent? Why would he let you live?"

"He wouldn't," Sam said. "We took care of him and Bella was able to get away."

"And, now we're doing everything we can to make sure Victoria can't make good on her threat to kill Bella. So, that's why she's leaving right now." Jake extended his hand for me.

"Victoria won't harm Bella." Jasper said.

"And how could you be so sure?" Jake asked. "We can't even find her."

"I killed her five days ago," Jasper informed us.

"What?" I asked. "How?"

"I was in Seattle at Alice's request," Jasper told us. "Something was seriously wrong there; too many suspicious killings and disappearances. Peter, Char and I did some investigating and found out she was starting to assemble an army of newborns."

"Just like your story with Maria," I whispered.

"Newborns?" Paul asked.

"New vampires. They're strong and can be molded into what their leader wants them to be. Victoria was stupid and had no idea what she was getting herself into, so it was easy for me and my friends to go in and eradicate the city of them. She had no battle sense, no organizational skill, just determination and she probably would've made it to Forks had she not been stopped."

"Did you hear that, Jake?" I asked. "Jasper destroyed Victoria, so I'm safe."

"From Victoria." Jake glared at Jasper.

"We should be thanking Jasper," I said. "Now we don't have to worry about what she's planning and when she'll attack. Things can go back to normal."

"They'll go back to normal when he leaves," Jake said.

"I don't plan on staying long," Jasper said.

That made my heart hurt.

Jasper turned and looked at me apologetically.

"Good." Jake looked at me. "Let's go, Bella."

"No." I shook my head. "You can't tell me what to do."

"Stop acting like a child and let's go," he ordered.

Jasper let out a low growl but I wasn't sure why.

"Bella, don't make me tell Charlie where you are. It'll kill him to think that you're messing up your recovery." Jake shook his head at me.

Now he wasn't playing fair. I'd already stressed Charlie out enough and I didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"Does Charlie know what I am?" Jasper asked.

"No, Jake just means that since Edward hurt me so bad, if Charlie finds out I'm here, he'll automatically think I'm looking for Edward." I glared at Jake. "But, that couldn't be further from the truth."

"Then let's go," he said as he reached for my hand.

Jasper stepped down to where Jake was standing and got dangerously close to Jake's face. "Stop telling her what to do."

"Bella, back away," Sam said as he stepped in between Jasper and Jake. "Jacob, stand down. I'm not asking you as your friend."

"Jake, please," I whispered. "I'll go now."

Jake backed away from Jasper. "Fine, let's go."

"I just need a minute to say goodbye. Sam, please." I hoped he would make the others leave.

He nodded. "We'll wait at the foot of the property for your truck."

"Thank you," I said.

"Bella, I'm not done with you, you have a lot of explaining to do," Jake warned me.

"Fine, just meet me at my house and I'll tell you whatever you want to know," I said.

"And, you," Jake said to Jasper. "You better not violate that treaty or you won't live to suck another neck or turn into a bat or whatever it is you things do."

Jasper laughed.

"I won't feed from a human, turn a human or step foot on the reservation," Jasper assured them. "I'm not here to cause a problem."

"Then you're free to stay in Forks for as long as you'd like," Sam said. "And, we thank you for making sure Victoria and her army never made it here."

Jasper nodded.

The wolves took off into the forest and waited for me by the end of the driveway. I dreaded my future conversation with Jake.

"Don't mind Jake," I said. "He's just really protective of me and doesn't want me to have to go through what I did last year."

"I understand," he said. "But, I'm not gonna hurt you."

"I know." I smiled. "I've been telling you that for two days."

"I'm glad Victoria is no longer a threat to you," he said. "We have Alice to thank for that."

"No, I have you to thank for that." I stood on my toes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

He stepped back, clearly surprised by my gesture.

"Well, I gotta go," I said, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Sorry for the inconvenience."

I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my hand and abruptly pulled me toward him. I looked down at our joined hands and then back up to his eyes.

"I don't…" He stopped and shook his head. "Don't go."

"I'll come back," I told him. "I just have to talk to Jake and make sure he doesn't tell Charlie something stupid."

He continued to stare at me.

"You have to let go of my hand," I whispered.

He nodded, but still didn't release me from his rather tight hold. He looked all possessive and well, kinda hot. After a few pretty intense seconds, when I thought my panties were gonna explode with all the tension goin' on between my thighs, he finally let go.

"Well, umm…" I couldn't think straight and almost stumbled down the steps, but Jasper held out his arm and stopped me from falling.

"Yeah." I giggled. "I gotta go now."

I jumped in my truck and pulled out of the driveway, but stopped to compose myself before I made it out to the road.

_What the fuck was that? _

I didn't think I'd ever experienced a pull like that before. It was like I physically couldn't leave him.

_My shrink was gonna have a field day with this one!_

*****So, let's not be too hard on Jake. He has his reasons.**

*****I'm trying to keep to an every other day posting schedule, but if I throw in a drabble, I'll usually post that the next day. Yes, I'm hinting at a drabble being posted tomorrow. Oh, and drabbles will usually be in a POV other than J or B.**


	5. Chapter 5

*****Thanks for all the reviews and alerts. I love that you all love this. I had no idea when I started typing, but I never have an idea that you'll actually like it. Lol**

*****Remember …this is not the next chapter, just a little part of me weaving the plot.**

**Jasper**

_Fuck!_

_What the fuck was that?_

I didn't want her to go. It was like I was having some sort of anxiety attack at the thought of her leaving. I'd never experienced that firsthand before. I mean, I felt it whenever Char left Peter to go shopping or when Carlisle headed to the hospital, and sometimes when Em and I went on a hunting trip. But, why would I be experiencing those feelings at the thought of Bella leaving? She wasn't my…

_No!_

I went back into the house, but the whole place smelled of her. I picked up the jacket she had left behind and held it to my face.

_No, no, no!_

I ripped it to shreds. This couldn't be. Why was she suddenly affecting me like this? I didn't even like her. Well, she was okay, but she grated on my nerves with her questions, emotions and always feeling like she was my new BFF. She was needy and full of enthusiasm.

I dropped down on the floor in front of the fireplace, where she was sitting when I told her about my past. She was so interested and understanding. Her heart practically broke for me when I told her about my time with Maria and the newborns.

I wanted to touch her, feel her soft, warm skin against mine, press my lips against hers and slowly take her clothes off and have my way with her by the fire. I finally had to get up and create some distance. I told her my throat was burning, but it wasn't her blood I wanted.

_Why?_

Oh, I knew who would know why! I was gonna kill Alice for this. Why would she send me back here when she clearly saw this coming? Lost something my ass…

_Voicemail! Fuck no! _

"Alice, you better call me back as soon as you get this message. Do you hear me, woman? I swear to God or whatever we deem holy, if you knew about this and didn't tell me, I'll cut off your credit card faster than you can say American Express! Do you get me?"

_Fuck it!_

**Alice**

I dropped my phone down on the coffee table and sighed.

"He isn't happy," I said.

"Did you really think he would be?"

"He's supposed to be happy," I said. "I saw it."

"I don't get why you just won't tell him the truth? Why play these games? They never turn out well for any of us."

"Because I've interfered enough. I held onto him for years when I knew he didn't belong to me."

"You were always honest about it."

"I should've told him when we were in Forks, and then maybe he wouldn't be struggling so much now. But, there were too many factors to consider back then."

"Well, that's an understatement, isn't it?"

"He's not the same man I fell in love with. He's broken and depressed. He has no idea what kind of life he wants. If this doesn't work out for him, if he can't figure this out on his own, he's going to go astray."

"He's already feeding from humans, so how much darker can he go?"

"You have no idea the things I've seen him do." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "He'll eventually leave Peter and Charlotte, too. He'll give in to that beast that lurks just at his surface. Do you know the havoc he could create?"

I shuddered at the thought. Jasper was a good man, but his thirst could get the better of him and his gift was so taxing. How long could he be expected to go without having a total breakdown?

"Bella is his only hope, and she knows it. She seems to have an extra sense about her," I said.

I walked around the room, debating on whether to call him back or just let things progress the way I saw they could.

"I know you disagree with all of this, but it's out of our control," I said.

"Then what has you so upset?"

"He hasn't made up his mind to stay in Forks yet," I said. "I've seen him go and if he leaves now, before he makes that vital connection, it's over for him. She'll never forgive him for leaving, not before they realize what they are to one another."

I plopped down on the sofa, picking up my phone and closing my eyes.

"I had to push him in her direction," I said. "It was the only way they could both survive."

*****I hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow. **


	6. Chapter 6

*****Thanks for the positive response to the drabble. It was something different for me and I wasn't sure it was something you'd be into. I need to thank jizzyhips for the idea. If you're into zombies, check out Flesh and Blood. It's a J/B fic!**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for beta'ing this and to Lady Tazz for pre-reading.**

**Jasper**

I needed to hunt. A good hunt would clear my head. Then, I'd blow this town so fast.

There, I had a plan. I'd hunt and then I'd head back to Texas. No harm done. I took an unnecessary breath to center myself and then headed out for the evening. I needed a real hunt; the kind that would leave me feeling full and strong and ready to face the future. About five minutes into my ritual, I remembered I couldn't hunt humans here in Forks.

_Stupid treaty!_

So, I had to reevaluate. I ran far and long until I was deep in the mountains. I finally found what I was looking for. Emmett would be pleased with my find. But, the bear didn't fall without a huge fight. I could have incapacitated him several times with a quick burst of venom, but instead I chose to prolong the event. It took my mind off things for a while.

When I was finished, I looked down at my ripped and bloodied clothes. I needed a serious shower. I headed up to my bedroom, stripped out of my unsalvageable clothes and let the hot spray of the water engulf my frigid body.

It wasn't long before thoughts of my brown eyed goddess flooded my mind. The things I could do to that unchartered body. The pleasure I could bring her. My cock was standing at full attention, but I refused to give in. No way was I bringing myself an ounce of release over Bella. She wasn't who I wanted. And, nothing would make me believe otherwise.

I stepped out of the shower, but before I could dry off I heard her heart beat as she made her way up the staircase.

_What was she doing here?_

Why did she find it so necessary to torture me? If she just would have left me alone, none of this would be happening right now. I had to put a stop to this.

I wrapped the towel securely around my waist and walked back out to the bedroom.

"Jasper?" she called. "Are you up here?"

She walked into my room, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. I was just in my towel, the water beaded on my chest and my hair still dripping. If she noticed the scars on my body, she didn't seem repulsed by them; actually, I was picking up an entirely different vibe. But, the lighting was dim and the bite marks were hard for the human eye to detect on my skin.

"Sorry." She blushed and looked away.

"For what?" I was annoyed she was here because she had me confused and aroused. I shouldn't have been turned on by a human, but all I could think about was throwing her down and fuckin' her senseless.

_I'd lost my mind for sure!_

"I-I didn't mean to interrupt you," she whispered.

"Didn't you?" I asked. "You've been interrupting me ever since I came back."

"I know." I could feel her hurt over my words. "I just thought maybe I could help you."

"I don't need your help." I moved closer to her. "I keep telling you that, but you don't listen."

She nodded fiercely trying to hold back her tears.

"You make me crazy. I came back here to find some peace. You have no idea how hard it is for me to figure anything out." I didn't mean to yell at her, but it bothered me that I couldn't find the strength to turn her away. "You can't help me anymore than I can you."

She looked up and let her eyes wander over my naked chest. She liked what she saw.

"Okay, I'll go."

She may have said she was going, but she didn't move. She was throwing off so much lust and unfortunately, it had only one place to go; directly into me. My dick was already hard and ready from the thoughts in the shower and now, here she was, standing in front of me practically licking her lips.

"You're still here," I whispered.

I stalked toward her, but she took a step back. I continued to advance on her and, true to human form, she backed herself right against the wall.

I smirked because the predator in me liked my odds.

She seemed to like this game because now not only could I feel her want, but I could smell her arousal.

_Such a dangerous combination._

I placed my hands on the wall on either side of her head and pressed my body against hers, lowering my nose to her neck to take in her scent.

Her heart rate increased, but she was anything but scared.

"You smell really good," I whispered against her jaw. "Don't move."

She stayed completely still as I continued to smell her. I removed one hand from the wall and trailed it along her neck and down the center of her body, between her breasts and stopping just above the button of her jeans.

Her desired spiked about ten notches.

I moved my hips and pressed my towel covered erection into her stomach.

"Do you feel what you're doing to me?" I whispered in her ear.

She nodded.

"There's too much lust and need in this room," I told her. "I don't know where mine ends and yours begins because I can feel it all. Would you like me to show you exactly what I'm feeling, darlin'?"

"Yes," she whispered as she wiggled her body against mine.

My body shook when her stomach brushed against my dick. I tangled my fingers in her long brown hair and pulled her head to the side, burying my lips against her throat as I pumped all the lust and desire I was feeling into her.

"Oh…" she moaned. "Jasper, I've never…"

I sucked on the skin that covered her throbbing vein and it took all the control I had not to sink my teeth into her neck. But, any thoughts of draining her quickly went out the window when she started moving up against me.

"Touch me," she moaned.

With my free hand, I ripped open her shirt, exposing her lace covered nipples to me. She kept trying to move her head, but I refused to release her hair from my grip. I didn't want her to try to kiss me. I needed to stay focused, and my tongue in her mouth would definitely be a distraction. I reached out and traced my fingertips over her nipple, causing her to let out a small moan, all the while she continued to rub herself against my cock.

I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly lifted her up and pressed her against the wall.

"Wrap your legs around me," I ordered.

She was shocked by my sudden movement, but managed to hook her legs around my waist. I placed one hand against the wall for support, trying to be careful not to push through the drywall. I removed my hand from her hair and, just as I expected, she tried to move her mouth to mine. I connected with her neck instead and trailed my lips down to her breast, sucking and licking her nipple through her bra.

I kept her pinned against the wall as I started to move my hips into her, making sure my cock pressed right against her hot little pussy. The more I moved, the more she wanted. Her lust kept crashing into me and I kept bouncing it right back at her.

I continued to suck and bite her nipple. She was moaning and panting out incoherent words as she twisted her fingers in my hair.

_Dry humping never felt so good._

"Jasper…" she cried out. "I think…oh…it feels good."

I could feel my own orgasm getting ready to take over my whole body. How could rubbing against her delicate body provide me with so much pleasure? I'd had the real thing thousands of times, but it never felt like this.

_What would it be like once I was really inside her?_

"Fuck, Bella!" I shot my load in several long, hot spurts against the towel. I dropped my head on her shoulder and waited for her breathing to return to normal. She shuddered against me as she played with the hair at the nape of my neck.

"Jasper?" she whispered.

"Hmm…" I answered as I carried her over to the bed, placing her in the center.

"What happened?"

"My gift is a little intense sometimes." I admitted.

"Oh." She was disappointed, "So what we did wasn't real?"

"No, it was about as real as you can get."

"Oh good." She yawned. "It felt amazing."

_She was right about that. _

"Jasper, can you hold me now?" I could feel how much she needed me.

I couldn't let her need me. It was wrong and she would end up hurt.

"Umm, well, I have to get cleaned up." I glanced down at my jizzed up towel.

"Oh, okay." She felt rejected, but I had time to fix this. I still planned on leaving here and I didn't want her becoming any more attached to me than she already was. Snuggling after a lust induced orgasm would certainly fall under the attachment category.

"I'm gonna get dressed," I said. "You close your eyes and relax."

"Okay," she whispered.

I sent her a huge dose of calm and tranquility and within a few seconds she was sound asleep. I went into the bathroom, cleaned up and got dressed. I stared at myself in the mirror and for the first time in my long existence, I wished the myth about vampires and mirrors were true. I didn't want a reflection of the jerk I was, staring back at me.

How could I have lost control of my gift that way? That never happened. I should've got a hold of myself and replaced her desire with something more appropriate. But, instead, I drugged her with my own need and ended up grinding against her like some animal in heat.

I went into the bedroom and watched her sleep for a few minutes. She was so beautiful and innocent. I crawled in next to her and gently stroked her hair. She couldn't hear me, but I needed to tell her anyway.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered. "I shouldn't have treated you that way."

She sighed in her sleep and then cuddled against me. I could feel how content and secure she felt. This was all kinds of wrong. I had no intentions of sticking around here, but now I didn't see how I could leave. I came here to clear my head. Bella was the last person I expected to put a kink into my plans. She'd been through too much already. And, while she may have been on the mend, I could feel something was missing for her.

_We had a lot in common._

I lifted her out of the bed and carried her down to the garage. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her face into my chest.

"Where are we going?" she asked in a sleepy voice.

"I'm going to take you home before Charlie files a missing person's report," I said.

"You'll still be here tomorrow though, right?" I felt her anxiety.

"Yes, Bella." I whispered. "I'm not goin' anywhere."

I couldn't leave if I tried. If I really wanted to go, I would've headed out of town right after I hunted, but instead I came back here. I knew she'd come looking for me. I still had no idea what she meant to me, but after tonight there was no denying there was something between us.

*****I'll post a drabble in Carlisle's POV next.**

*****If you have a minute, check out jaspersnaughtygirls dot blogspot dot com. Every Friday we post a durty picture prompt and ask you to write a Lemon Drizzle (a dirty drabble). I've done it a few times and it's really helped me with my lemon writing, plus I like playing around with different pairings. So, please consider writing one!**


	7. Chapter 7

*****Thanks for all the comments and PM's over the previous chapter. I'm trying to respond back to all of you, but this posting schedule is killin' me! But, you're all worth it!**

**Carlisle**

Esme and I had been in Italy for about a month; touring, sightseeing and researching. We decided to get in a vacation before I started my new job in France. I was excited the rest of the children would be joining us and we would live as a family again. Well, everyone except for Jasper, but that was a situation that just couldn't be helped.

We were here at Alice's request. I had to admit she was a bit cryptic about sending me on this little expedition, but she assured me it was because she didn't want Aro finding out anything that could complicate matters down the line. She knew I could research her question and if the Volturi had any information on this particular subject, I'd find it.

I was rather curious as to why she wanted to know if a vampire could be mated to a human. It was an interesting concept. She wouldn't give me much information; only that it would happen to one of my children. By process of elimination, I narrowed it down to Edward, Alice or Jasper. But, when I presented my question to Aro, I just told him Esme and I were curious about vampire history and we were here in Italy trying to explore our roots. I didn't need Edward's gift to know he didn't buy it. But, because of our long history, he humored me.

I hoped once I gained my answers, Alice would let me in on her visions.

I couldn't even venture a guess.

Part of me hoped it was Edward who would be finding his mate. He'd been the only one of my children who had been alone and it was taking a toll on him. It pained me to watch and I wished there was a way for me to create someone for him the way I had for myself and Rosalie. I didn't think he was fully over what had transpired between him and Bella. I wasn't sure he ever would be. And, for that reason, I had a hard time believing it would be him who fell for a human again.

Alice seemed carefree and at peace with her decision to separate from Jasper. So, that made me wonder if maybe she had seen her mate in a vision and was afraid to pursue him until she knew if it was allowed by the Volturi. She didn't want to set herself up for disaster. It was hard to tell with her though. She seemed to be enjoying her freedom at the moment and was really looking forward to starting a new life in France.

And then there was Jasper, perhaps the most troubling to me out of all of my children. I had failed him on so many levels. I hated that he strayed from our animal drinking way of life. If I had to choose which one of them ended up with a human, it would be Jasper. In my opinion, falling in love and mating with a human just might be the only thing that could save him.

*****Remember...it was supposed to be short! **


	8. Chapter 8

*****Thanks for commenting on my Carlisle drabble. I do love writing his POV and someday I'm going to attempt a Carlisle story! So, many of you wondered why Carlisle doesn't think that Bella was Edward's mate. Edward left Bella over a year ago and hasn't attempted to return. If they were true mates, he believes that Edward and Bella would have crossed paths again by now. Edward wouldn't have been able to stay away that long. At least that's my take. Lol**

*****Thanks for my wonderful pre-reader Lady Tazz and my two lovely beta's Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and TwiCarol.**

*****I don't own any of the characters or original story.**

**Bella**

Five days after that night in his bedroom he was still in Forks. I knew he was supposed to stay with me. There couldn't have been any other logical reason. Why would Alice send him back here? I wouldn't give up until I figured it all out. Jasper could be as stubborn as he wanted to be. I wouldn't back down. I was not the same Bella I was the last time they were in Forks. I just had to be more persistent, and go after what I wanted.

_And, God help me, but I wanted Jasper Whitlock._

The next few days were awkward. I didn't see him much because of school, work and my weekly therapy session. My doctor did mention he noticed a big change in me this week. I giggled when I thought about what happened in Jasper's bedroom. When the doctor asked me if I'd like to elaborate, I shook my head and told him I was having a really good week. Actually, those few minutes we were together was all I could think about. If he could make me feel that good with my clothes on, what could he do for real?

When I did see Jasper, it was only for brief amounts of time and usually in public. He kept showing up; twice at the school library, once at the bookstore where I worked a few hours a week and several times at my back door.

He was his usual stand-offish self, but I saw right through him. In the beginning, I believed he was really put off by me, but now I knew it was an act. He was afraid to let me in. He continued to try and push me away with his words, but his actions told another story. Why else would he keep popping up every time I turned around?

I packed an overnight bag, showered, put on a particularly sexy black bra and panty set and headed downstairs. I was spending the night with Jasper, whether he wanted me there or not. I had a pretty good feeling he wanted me there.

First, I needed to come clean with Charlie. He'd been so supportive of me when I needed him the most and he deserved to know what was going on in my life. He was getting ready for work when I knocked on his bedroom door.

"Hey, Bells." He smiled. "How are you?"

"Good," I answered honestly for the first time in months.

"I can tell." He nodded. "You seem really happy."

"I am," I said. "Late shift this weekend?"

"Yeah, you gonna be okay?"

When Edward first left, Charlie did everything he could to make sure he didn't have to leave me at night. Nights seemed to be the worst for me with the nightmares and the screaming, so he didn't like to leave me. When he absolutely had to, he would allow Jake or Sam to sleep on the couch, so I didn't have to be alone. Just knowing another person was in the house was enough to settle my nerves.

"I'm good, Dad," I said. "But, actually I'm spending the weekend at a friend's house."

"Really? That's great. Those girls from school you told me about?" He was so happy about me making friends.

"Umm, no," I mumbled.

"Are you staying at the rez?" he asked.

"No, look, I don't want you to be upset, but I have something to tell you."

"Bella, when you start the conversation out that you don't want me to be upset, chances are, I'm gonna be upset," he sighed. "So just tell me."

"My new friend is a guy," I said.

"Oh, well, I guess that's okay. I don't think I'm thrilled you want to spend the night with him, but you're nineteen and I guess I can't police you."

"It's not like that," I said.

_Well, it was like that, but Charlie didn't need to know all the details. _

"We're just friends."

_That wasn't a total lie._

"Oh, well then why did you think I'd be upset? Did you meet him at school?" he asked.

"Not college, more like high school."

_Not a total lie either._

"Do I know him?" he asked.

"Not personally." I had to stop beating around the bush. "His name is Jasper."

"Oh, does his family live around here?" He stopped speaking and thought for a second. "Wasn't that the name of one of Dr. Cullen's sons?"

I nodded.

"Well, that's a strange coincidence, since it's not a very common name."

"It's not a coincidence," I said.

"Bella, no!" He started pacing the room. "Why would you get mixed up with his brother after everything that happened?"

"It wasn't his fault what happened," I said. "He had nothing to do with me and Edward. I like being around him."

"What's he even doing back here?" he asked. "Is he alone?"

I didn't want to have to answer all these questions. "He's just passing through and we're spending some time together. It's not a big deal but I wanted you to know. Jake found out and he's not real happy and I didn't want him coming here and worrying you. There's nothing for you to worry about."

"Fine," he sighed.

"Fine? That's it?" I asked.

"Bella, you're an adult. If you had gone away to college, I couldn't monitor your actions. Do I worry about you? Absolutely. You're my kid and you hit a few bumps in the road, but you're doing what you can to put your life back together."

"Wow."

"You've been really happy this past week," he continued. "I don't know if it has anything to do with your new friend, but I haven't seen you this way in a really long time."

"I like being around him. He's smart and funny."

_When he wasn't trying to throw me out, anyway. _

"And, it's just been a nice change for me."

"Well, I just hope you'll be smarter this time," he said. "People leave sometimes. Edward didn't have any control over Dr. Cullen taking that job, but he could've handled the way he left you a little better. I still don't know what happened between the two of you, but you seem to be dealing with it now and I don't want to ever have to watch what happened to you last year again."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "I know I put you through a lot, but it won't happen again."

I couldn't explain it to him, but this time it was different. With Edward, I always felt like he could disappear at any moment, like there was no real attachment to him. But, I didn't feel that way with Jasper. He kept telling me he wasn't staying, but that didn't scare me. I had no right to be this confident, but I just didn't think he was capable of leaving me.

"And, Bells," Charlie said before I left. "Cut Jacob a break. He was here for all of it too and he's protective of you, all the guys are, so don't be too hard on him. He just doesn't want to see you hurt again."

"I know." I smiled. "I'll make things right with him."

"Be careful." He smiled. "You're still my little girl."

"Dad!"

I ran down the steps feeling good that I told Charlie who I'd be with. He'd been there for me and I didn't want to lie to him anymore than I had to. It was bad enough there was this whole other world out there I couldn't let him in on, but I at least wanted him to know where I'd be this weekend.

I skipped down the steps and to my truck, but he suddenly appeared at the driver's side door.

"Jasper!" I screamed. "You scared me."

"Sorry."

"What are you doing here?" Not that I was surprised because he'd been showing up unexpectedly all week.

"Well, I knew you'd be heading to my house." He glanced at the bag slung over my shoulder. "And, since there's no stopping you, I figured I'd at least drive this thing you refer to as a vehicle. The roads are getting icy."

"Jasper?" I smiled. "Were you worried about me?"

"Get in." He opened the truck door, pulled my bag from my arm, and climbed in after me.

"So, what do you wanna do tonight?" I asked.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," he muttered.

"You can stop pretending now," I said. "I already know you like me."

"What makes you so sure?" he asked.

"Because you're still here," I said.

"That has more to do with Alice's vision than it does you," he informed me.

"Oh, right." I smiled. "The vision where she sends you back to Forks to find what you lost? That probably had nothing to do with me either."

He didn't say anything for the rest of the ride. Once we were in the house, I pulled off my hoodie to reveal a tight fitting, scoop neck tee.

"So, what should we do?" I turned around to find him gawking at me.

_Nice._

"Jas?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to watch TV?" I asked.

"Umm, I don't care," he said. "You decide. We can do whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" I smiled, but then my panties started to get a little wet when I thought about what we did the last time I was here. I wanted him to make me feel that way again.

Jasper let out a low growl and backed away from me.

I headed for the staircase.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"You said we could do whatever I wanted and judging from that growl, you know exactly what I want to do." I continued to walk up the stairs and to his bedroom.

"Isabella!" he yelled. "Get back here!"

"No!" I yelled back. "Come get me."

My heart was beating out of my chest at the thought of him actually coming after me. There was a pretty good chance he was stubborn enough to leave me up here all night by myself, but I thought I had a way to make sure that didn't happen.

If it worked for the Pied Piper, I could do it too. I knew exactly how to lead my empath right to me. I took a deep breath and convinced myself I could do this.

I pulled my shirt up over my head, tossing it to the floor before lying back on his bed. I slowly trailed my fingers down my stomach and to the button of my jeans. I imagined it was Jasper's cold hands ghosting over my heated skin. I'd never done anything like this before, but I needed him to feel my desire.

I undid my jeans and lowered the zipper, slipping them down my legs and kicking them off. I moved my hand back up my body, circling my fingers over my nipple until I felt it harden under my touch. I remembered what it was like to feel Jasper's mouth sucking and biting it.

"Mmm…" I moaned.

Suddenly, I sank into the mattress and when I opened my eyes, Jasper was pinning me to the bed. He had both of my wrists in his hand and was holding them over my head. He looked down at my half naked body and growled.

"Do you have any idea the game you're playing?" He looked angry, but it only served to intensify my lust. "You're so far out of your league."

I hooked my legs around his hips and pressed my wet center into his arousal.

"God, Bella," he moaned. "Have you learned nothing from the attack with James and Laurent? Or even me?"

"You wouldn't have hurt me," I whispered as I continued to grind into him.

"I would have drained you if I had the chance." He started moving his hips into me, increasing the pressure of his hold on my wrists. "Do you know how dangerous this is?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes, just trying to feel him.

"I could kill you, but I can't seem to stay away from you." He buried his head in the crook of my neck, running his nose along my vein. "I want to be near you."

"Make me feel like you did the other night," I whispered. "Please."

I felt his cold tongue run down my neck, over my collarbone and to my breast. With his free hand he moved the material out of the way and took my exposed nipple in his mouth, all the while, he never stopped moving against me. As his tongue flicked my nipple, his hips pounded into my body and all I kept thinking was how I wanted him to rip his pants off and enter me.

My body was shaking with need, every muscle was tight and begging to let go. He released my nipple and looked directly into my eyes, concentrating all of his energy on me. It was as if he could see right into my desperate soul.

His eyes were golden now, and his blond hair fell slightly over them. He was beautiful and I wanted him to kiss me. I tried to lift my head off the bed, but it was too heavy. I felt this incredible sensation come over me. I could only describe it as pure want and desire. But, it was different than the other night; whatever he was projecting onto me was far more intense this time. It was as if he was claiming what was his.

"I _am_ yours," I whispered.

He shook his head, but before I could argue, my climax took hold of me and coursed through my body something fierce. A few seconds later, Jasper screamed out my name, released my wrists and collapsed on top of me. He felt hard and solid, but it didn't bother me. I wanted to be closer to him.

He gently pried my legs from his hips and then rolled over on his side. I turned to face him.

"That was different than the other night," I whispered. "I know you felt it."

He nodded.

"What's happening?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "But, it's wrong."

"It doesn't feel wrong," I said as I leaned closer to his lips.

He looked away from my eyes.

"Please kiss me," I begged.

"No," he whispered.

"Why?"

I waited patiently for an answer, but then I could feel my eyes getting heavy. I fought to keep them open, but I was losing. It felt like I was given a sedative. No matter how hard I tried to stay awake, I couldn't.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I managed to ask.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and then it all went dark.

*****Okay…so, I have it on good authority that things will start looking up in the next chapter. lol**


	9. Chapter 9

*****Thanks again for all the comments you guys are leaving. I really appreciate the support on this little fic.**

*****I couldn't do it without TwiCarol, Jasper's Darlin' Kathy or Lady Tazz.**

**Jasper**

I placed her in a deep sleep. I had to figure out what was going on. It pained me to be away from her for any amount of time. I'd been following her to work and school all week, showing up at her house just to see her smile when she answered the back door and saw me, and now, I was taking a page out of Edward's book and hanging out in her bedroom while she slept which wasn't an easy task with the wolves always sniffing around.

I could deny my feelings for her all I wanted, but even she knew how I felt. When we were together a few minutes ago, I projected onto her that she was mine and she knew exactly what I was trying to express.

I placed the blanket over her partially naked body and couldn't help but think of all the things I could do to her. She was certainly a willing participant. The thing that made her so sexy was she didn't even know how alluring she was. She didn't have to come up here and provoke me with her lust; I would've taken her right in the foyer if she'd given me a few minutes to adjust. But, I needed to control these urges until I figured out what the hell was going on. Unfortunately, Bella wasn't making it very easy for me.

I sighed out loud as I watched her sleep. I wanted to give her everything she wanted in life. She deserved to be happy, but I didn't know if I could make that happen. I couldn't even kiss her. I wanted to press my mouth against those soft, pink, pouty lips, but I was afraid of what that would symbolize. Dry humping was one thing, because that was all about lust and relieving sexual tension, but kissing, especially the way I knew she wanted to, was a whole other issue.

I took a quick shower before heading downstairs. Bella was still asleep, and I figured it was better to keep her that way because I had a feeling she was gonna be pretty pissed when she woke up.

My phone was vibrating on the foyer table. I glanced at the caller id and briefly considered not answering it, because I just didn't need her shit right now, but she was the only one who could give me the answers I so desperately needed. At least I hoped…

"Hello, Alice," I answered.

"Don't you hello Alice me," she hissed. "You canceled my credit card, you bastard."

"I told you I would if you didn't call me back and you know I don't make idle threats."

"I didn't think you'd actually do it, you were supposed to be too caught up in Bella to actually bother with cutting me off."

"Yeah, well, why don't you start explaining? Why the fuck am I here?"

She laughed.

"Alice?" I warned. "I will hunt you down."

"Jazz, you need to relax, you're screwing this whole thing up," she said. "You're not being very nice to her. Thank God she sees right through you."

"What am I screwing up?"

"Look, just take a step back and you'll figure it out," she said. "If I tell you, you won't believe me. I've seen it, but I promise once you get it together, I'll answer any questions you have. I'm in Alaska."

"Just tell me, Alice," I prodded. "I'll believe you."

"No," she said, and I could hear how adamant she was. "I already had to beg you to go to Seattle because if I didn't you never would've left Texas, but it was a good thing you went. So, just trust me, you'll see it soon."

"Where in Alaska are you?"

"The cabin," she said. "You know where, but don't leave Bella yet. You'll know when you should come to me."

"That's all I'm gonna get outta you, isn't it?" I asked.

"Afraid so, sexy." She giggled. "It'll all work out. But, don't forget to reinstate my credit card, please."

"When this is all sorted out, you'll get your credit card back." I smiled. "In the mean time, I guess you'll have to hit Carlisle up for cash."

"Jasper, you know he doesn't let me spend the way you do." She whined.

Alice made it a point of attending high school over and over again. Even when the rest of us went to college or tried careers from time to time, she insisted on high school. It didn't pay that well, so I'd been supporting her for the last fifty years, and I just continued to do so even after we separated. She wasn't destitute by any means and Carlisle provided her with a car and a house, so I knew she'd be okay.

"Consider it payback. When I get answers, you'll go shopping," I said. "See you soon."

She screamed some nasty name into the phone before hanging up.

_Well, that conversation provided me with no information. _

I decided it was time to go deal with the half naked, horny girl sleeping in my bed. She wasn't gonna be thrilled with me.

"Peter?" I called out when I heard them approaching the house.

"Yup, we're here," he said as he and Char entered the house.

"What are you doin' here so soon?" I asked.

"Peter was afraid you were messing things up in Forks." She laughed as she kissed my cheek. "How are you?"

"I've been better," I said.

"Jasper?" I felt her anxiety as she searched the room.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You're keeping a human in here," Peter said as he sniffed around. "A woman."

"But, his eyes are golden, so he's not feeding from her," Char said.

"So, what are you doin' with her?" Peter laughed.

"Nothing," I defended.

"Hmm," he said.

"Her name is Bella Swan," I told them. "She was the reason we left Forks in the first place. She was Edward's human." I hated saying that. She wasn't Edward's anything, she was my…

"Jasper, what's she doin' here?" Peter asked.

"I don't know." I answered. "She keeps showing up."

"Ahh, that's kinda sweet." Char smiled.

"No, no it isn't," I said. "She's becoming attached to me. I can feel it, so maybe its best you guys are here. We can head back to Texas." I felt a pain shoot through my body and a deep ache where my heart used to beat.

_Fuck!_

"What's wrong?" Peter asked. "You look like you're in pain."

"No!" I shook my head. "I just think it's time to go."

_Ouch!_

There it was again.

_What the fuck?_

"Tell me about the human," Peter said.

"Bella, her name is Bella," I corrected him.

"Okay," he humored me. "Tell me about Bella."

"There's nothing to tell," I said. "She's nineteen, practically a baby. She's got long, sweet smellin' brown hair and the most gorgeous eyes to match."

_What the fuck was wrong with me?_

"Well," Peter said. "That ain't exactly what I meant, but alright."

"She sounds pretty." Char smiled. "Can I go see her?"

"No!" I yelled.

"Why not?" she asked.

"She's sleeping," I said.

"I won't wake her," she said. "I just want to see what's got you so worked up."

"I'm not worked up. I'm fine and I'll be even better when we…" I couldn't even bring myself to say it.

Char smiled at Peter and I could feel their amusement. I wanted to laugh too, but then I was overwhelmed with anger and fury.

_Bella was awake._

"Jasper Fuckin' Whitlock!" She screamed as she made her way down the steps.

"Oh, I like her." Char giggled. "Got some spunk."

She appeared in front of me and I thanked whatever God who would listen that she had the sense to get dressed before she came downstairs. She was furious, but that fury would have lost something in translation had she been standing in front of me in her underwear. And, Peter would have had the time of his life with that one.

"How dare you make me fall asleep when we were in the middle of a conversation…?" She quickly stopped when she realized we weren't alone. "Oh!"

"Hello, sugar." Peter smiled.

She took a step closer to my side and I felt her fear. She knew what was standing in front of her and she also knew enough to know they weren't the animal drinkin' kind. She kept inching closer until she was pressed up against me. I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, before replacing her fear with calm.

"Bella," I said. "I'd like to introduce you to my family."

"Peter and Charlotte," Bella whispered before I could introduce them.

"That's right," Peter said. "We're not gonna hurt you."

"Hi, Bella," Char said. "I see you're keeping our Jasper on his toes."

"He sedated me with his vampy mojo while we were in the middle of a discussion." She huffed as she pulled her hand from mine. "He didn't like what I was askin'."

I growled, causing Bella to step back. I didn't like when she pulled away from me.

"Jasper?" Char said. "What's wrong with you?"

"I think I know," Peter observed and I could feel his curiosity.

"Shut up!" I snapped.

He laughed and then spoke low enough for only me and Char to hear. "I think I know what you lost."

"No!" I yelled and then I felt Bella's confusion.

"No, what?" she asked. "You didn't tranquilize me?"

"I wasn't talking to you," I said. "But, yes, I did assist you in a much needed nap."

"Pig!" she hissed. "Got what you wanted and didn't want to hear anything else."

Peter snickered.

"Bella," I said. "Now is not the time to discuss this." I felt this incredible urge to make her obey me.

"Fine," she said. "I'll leave."

"No!" I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me, daring her to defy me.

She looked at me with those wide brown eyes and I felt her confusion, but true to Bella form, the bewilderment was laced with desire. If I ever gave in to this girl, I was starting to think I wouldn't be able to keep up.

"Stand down, Major," Peter said. "We need to talk."

Char took Bella's other hand and gently pulled her in her direction. I had to suppress another growl over her trying to take Bella from me. I could feel Char's sympathy over the situation, but I didn't understand why.

"We're only going upstairs, Jasper," she said. "So you and Peter can talk. I'm not taking her away."

I nodded as I released Bella's hand.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Jasper and Peter need a few minutes, sweetie," Char said as she took Bella back upstairs. Bella turned and stared at me for a few seconds before giving me a small smile. I could feel how much she hated leaving me too. She went upstairs and I immediately missed her presence.

"The bond is getting stronger, isn't it?" Peter asked.

"What bond?" I sighed.

"I remember when I realized Char was the one," he said. "You were there, you felt it all."

"So," I said. "Your point?"

"It starts out slow and it's hard to understand what's happening. Then when she leaves, you panic and have to fight the urge to go after her. Soon, you just stop fighting it and you need to be wherever she is."

He glanced out the window, giving me a chance to allow his words to sink in.

"Of course it'll be more intense for you because of your gift; you can feel her anxiety too. But, because she's human the separation isn't as strong for her, not yet anyway. You'll probably feel even more of a connection to her because she is human. She can't protect herself the way we can and you'll need to take responsibility for her safety. Then there's the physical aspect. You're drawn to her and you'll need to consummate the union. Once the two of you come together, there's no turning back. You'll never want anyone else."

I already didn't want anyone else. She was all I thought about. As each day passed, the more my need for her grew.

"My pull to her," I said. "It comes in spurts. One minute I'm talking about leaving and the next, I can't handle thinking I'll never see her again. But, it makes me angry and I take it out on her."

"You're in denial," he said. "This is going to be different for you. When two vampires mate, we know we're in this for eternity, but with a human, I don't know how that works."

"Mate? What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked.

"You know what it feels like to find the one. You've experienced it lots of times, maybe not personally, but you know what it feels like when we mate."

"Peter, I tried to kill the girl a year ago," I reminded him. "I may not have personally experienced what it's like to have a mate, but I'm pretty sure we don't try to kill them."

"Not always, but just wait a few decades. Or, when she won't listen. That drives me crazy!" He laughed. "But, maybe you weren't trying to drain her."

"Trust me, I was," I said. "I could practically taste her blood on my tongue. I remember thinking what it would be like to slice open her neck and feel her blood coat my throat."

"But, you don't feel that now?" he asked. "I smelled you all over her, so obviously you can get pretty close to her."

"Your point?" No way was I admitting to what we had done.

"What else did you feel that night she cut herself?"

"Bloodlust, lots of it." I thought about it for a few seconds. "Not just mine. There were six other vampires in the room. But, Edward doesn't count because he didn't want her blood, he wanted to protect her. And, Carlisle was worried he wouldn't be able to stop me in time. Even if the others were momentarily distracted by her blood, they were trying to settle down. There was so much going on, and Bella was the center of it all."

"So, you were focused on Bella?"

"Her finger, actually," I said. "She was dripping on the carpet."

"But, they got you under control," he said. "Just Emmett and Carlisle."

"So, they're pretty strong," I said.

"And, Alice never saw any of it coming?"

"She says no, but she was lying," I said. "She had to see me attack Bella. The paper cut wasn't a split decision. It was always gonna happen."

"I don't think Alice was lying about not seeing you attack her," he said. "You were never going to attack her. You would've gained control of the situation, even if you made it to Bella, I'm betting you wouldn't have drained her. Whatever Alice was hiding was much bigger than you think."

"What are you saying?"

"You found your mate," he said. "She's human, but she doesn't have to stay that way."

"She's not my mate." I insisted. "Whoever heard of a vampire and a human mate? That's not the way it works. It's not even possible."

"You don't think so, huh?" I could feel his smugness pushing to the surface. "Well, you would know better than anyone else. So, cut her loose and we'll head home."

"Fine," I agreed.

"She's probably better off anyway. She's a pretty girl and I'm sure she'll find her human companion soon enough."

I growled and hissed at the thought of someone else touching what was mine.

"Hell, she's young enough that she'll probably have lots of guys. That's what teenagers do these days. I think they have fuck buddies."

"She will not!" I yelled. "No one touches her but me. She's mine."

He arched a brow at me and smiled.

"Now what?" I mumbled.

I shook my head and tried to come to terms with the fact that I'd fallen for the one human I never thought I'd ever come in contact with again. Not only had I developed strong feelings for her, but now I had to figure out how a vampire and a human could ever be true mates.

It was time for me to head to Alaska.

*****JSYK…this has about six more chapters to go. I've decided to do an outtake of J/B in the future for Fandom Gives Back Autism, too.**


	10. Chapter 10

*****Thanks for all of your comments. I tried to respond to as many of you as I could, but between writing and RL, I got a little overwhelmed this week. Lol I still love hearing from you though, so don't stop!**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol, Jasper's Darlin Kathy and Lady Tazz!**

*****I still don't own it.**

**Bella**

"Can you tell me what's happening?" I didn't get what was going on. Last week, I was intrigued by Jasper and wanted to figure out why he was here, but now the dynamics had changed. He was different and I was seeing him in a way that I never knew was possible.

I stared at Char, hoping she'd have some answers for what had just occurred downstairs. One second, I was furious at Jasper and the next, I wanted to do whatever he wanted of me.

Char gave me a small smile and then sighed. She was beautiful. She was tiny like Alice, but I could tell she was strong and powerful. Her long blond hair fell to the center of her back, and I was sure, once upon a time, her eyes were a crystal blue. She was a southern beauty.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," she said. "I'm not like Peter or Jasper. I don't have any extra insight."

"But, you've known Jasper for a long time," I said.

"Yes." She nodded. "I love him like a brother."

"He's different with me than when he was here in Forks last time. And, I'm drawn to him in a way I never felt with Edward."

"I'll just tell you what I know as a woman." She smiled. "He's falling for you."

"No." I shook my head. "I don't think he likes me too much. Well, sometimes he does, but not usually."

"He's a stupid man and he didn't see you coming," she said. "He doesn't know what to do with you."

"He won't even kiss me," I mumbled. That bothered me way more than it should. "That's what we were fighting about downstairs. I asked him to kiss me and he put me to sleep instead."

"I told you he's stupid." She laughed. "Look, Jasper's already figured this out and he just needs time to adjust. Vampires aren't good with change and he's been set in his ways for a really long time. And, let's not forget he was feeding from humans a week ago. So, if he hasn't kissed you, he just might not be ready."

"Hmm… how was it that he was ready to dry hump me against the wall and then right here on this bed a few hours ago?"

Char giggled. "Yeah, I wondered why I could smell him all over you if he hadn't kissed you. Well, the only thing I can say is, he's a man and an empath, so if you were throwing off some sexy vibes, he may not have been able to control himself."

"Well, I guess I did kinda provoke him tonight," I admitted.

Jasper knocked on the door frame.

"Hey," he said.

Char smiled at him. "Just getting to know Bella," she told him.

"I need to speak to her," he said. "Could you excuse us?"

I turned and walked to the window, making sure to throw off as much annoyance and aggravation at him as I could. I wouldn't let him get the best of me.

"Be nice to her," Char said. "And, kiss her."

"Get out!" He yelled, and I heard Peter growl from downstairs.

"She's really pretty," she whispered. "And, she likes you."

"Char, go!"

"Bye, Bella." She was gone before I could respond, but I hoped she didn't leave because I wanted to learn more about Jasper, and I had a feeling she could help me with that.

Jasper shut the door and walked to where I was standing, but I didn't turn around.

"Bella," he whispered against my hair as he ran his hands up and down my arms.

I moved out of his hold.

"I know you're mad," he said.

"Really?" I said. "I hope you can feel it all."

"I can." He smiled. "It's cute, but you don't really mean any of it."

"You don't get to tell me how I feel," I said. "As a matter of fact, you don't get to tell me anything." I pushed past him and headed for the door. "I'm going home."

He was standing in front of me in an instant and he didn't look happy. His jaw was tense and his eyes were a smoldering black.

"That's where you're wrong," he whispered. "We don't have any control over this anymore."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"What's happening between us is very powerful," he said. "It's not something you can walk away from. I tried to give you an out, but you kept coming back."

He stroked my hair and then placed his cold palm on my cheek, pulling my face closer to his. He smelled like spice; like the autumn air and it stirred some kind of longing in me. Fall was my favorite time of the year, it was familiar, and the start of school always provided a routine for me as a child. It always felt so right, just as right as being close to him.

"Bella," he whispered and his breath made the hair resting against my neck move.

"No!" I said. "I'm not talking to you." I was still infuriated over the way he treated me earlier.

"Good, because what I have in mind won't involve talking."

"Oh, umm, what did you want to do?" I bit my lip and felt my body getting hot; the heat was most intense between my thighs.

_I was such a slut!_

He smiled as he lowered his lips to mine.

"Jasper?"

"I should've done this earlier," he whispered as he brushed his lips against mine.

"Umm." I swallowed hard.

"Bella?" I could almost taste him on my lips. I was practically trembling with anticipation.

"Yes," I answered.

"May I kiss you?"

"Please," I muttered against his mouth.

He twisted his fingers in my hair and pulled me to his lips, first kissing me so softly I barely felt him, but gradually he increased the pressure, and then his tongue was pushing against the opening between my lips. I sighed against his mouth before parting them for him. He slipped his tongue inside, quickly seeking out my tongue, rubbing against it and swirling his all around my mouth.

I pushed my hands inside his jacket and ran them along his chest and over his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. I pressed my lips hard against his.

"My teeth, sweetheart," he mumbled. "You have to watch my teeth."

I nodded.

"Just don't stop kissing me," I whispered. "Please."

"I couldn't stop now if I wanted to." He took my hand and led me to the bed, sitting down and pulling me into his lap.

I pressed my lips against his and slowly kissed him.

"I like the way you taste," I whispered.

He smiled.

"I don't think I'm allowed to say the same about you." He licked my bottom lip and then sucked it into his mouth. He continued to kiss me for a few minutes, but then I pulled away.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Why did you change your mind?" I asked. "Why are you kissing me now?"

"Are you complaining?" He gently kissed my jaw.

"No, but what happened?"

"It's hard to explain," he said. "And, I don't even have all the details yet, but we belong together."

I thought about that for a second. He was right. I wanted to be his and not in that, 'I'm your girl' type of way. It went deeper than that. But, at the same time it scared me. What exactly did it mean to belong to a vampire? Especially this vampire. He was old, wise, strong and experienced. And, most of the time he frightened me, but then there were other times when I just wanted him to touch me and make me his.

_God, what was wrong with me?_

"Bella, what's wrong with you? You're throwing off so many emotions, I can't keep up."

"This is all happening too fast, don't you think?" I needed to be honest. I couldn't let what happened to me before happen again. I wouldn't survive it this time.

"It's very fast, but my kind doesn't really have a time line," he said. "We just go with it."

"I can't just go with it," I said. "I need to be certain."

"Of me?" he asked. "You can't feel it?"

"Not the same way you can," I whispered.

"I'm not talking about my gift." He took my hand in his. "This is so much bigger than that."

"It's too much for me to grasp," I admitted because I was scared to go down this path again. It wasn't that I didn't see a future with Jasper, but I didn't exactly think I'd be pledging my eternal love in a matter of seven days.

"Because you're human, it won't be as intense for you as it is for me. I can be patient."

"I could never be enough for you," I blurted out.

"Why would you say that?" he asked.

_Because I wasn't enough before._

"Bella." He gently kissed my lips. "You've been so confident all week about us. You're the one who kept insisting I was here for you. You kept coming around. You do feel it. You have to."

I nodded.

"You don't have to be afraid," he said. "We're not making any decisions tonight."

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. I wanted him to feel how much I needed him.

"Can you just feel?" I asked. "I can't express it."

"Yes, but you have to let me show you what I'm feeling too."

I smirked.

"Oh, are you remembering what I showed you when I got out of the shower the other night?" He smiled.

"That was pretty intense," I whispered.

"Yes, but we're not alone tonight," he reminded me. "And, we can't complicate this any further."

"I know," I agreed.

"Close your eyes," he whispered against my jaw.

I did what he asked without any hesitation. After a few seconds, I felt a warm vibration course through my body. I felt wanted and not just physically. I could feel how much he needed me. I was relaxed and comfortable in his arms. The more he sent my way, the more I wanted.

He continued to place soft kisses on my lips, jaw and neck as he pushed everything he was feeling on to me. He didn't ever want to leave me. He made me experience the anxiety he felt when I left the room, the way he recovered when he saw me again, he showed me how he felt when he knew I was safe and secure. I didn't just feel what he was pushing out; it was as if I was absorbing it. I understood it all because his emotions could have been my own.

This experience didn't just touch my heart. It was much more than that. His gift was somehow embracing my soul and I didn't want him to ever let go. I tried to catch my breath but my mind was in overdrive.

I felt him wipe the tears away from my cheeks.

"Shh." He kissed my lips. "I know it's overwhelming."

I nodded. I'd never felt anything like that before.

He ran his hand through my hair and then pulled my lips toward his mouth. He kissed me harder this time, it was almost predatorily. He was showing me I belonged to him. He was claiming what was his and I understood completely. I wanted to be his.

Bella," he whispered. "You were right."

"About what?" I managed to breathe out in between kisses.

"I _am_ here for you," he said. "It was always you."

*****Ahh…I knew Sweetsper was in there somewhere.**

*****Don't forget to check out jaspersnaughtygirls dot blogspot dot com today. We had five really hot lemon drizzles submitted this week and next week's picture prompt is seeeexy!**

*****Oh, and the next reviewer of this story will be number 818. Just thought I'd mention it:)**


	11. Chapter 11

*****What a crazy response over that last chapter. You all flatter me so much with your kind words. I can't thank you enough, so I'll just continue to try and keep you all entertained. Enjoy!**

*****Thanks Lady Tazz, TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy!**

*****Still not mine.**

**Jasper**

Kissing Bella awakened emotions in me I didn't even know I possessed. Physically it was the most profound experience of my existence. She was soft and warm and she smelled better than any human I'd ever come across. Her lips molded perfectly against mine, and I had to fight my inner beast to not throw her on that bed and show her exactly want it meant to mate.

We weren't ready for that yet. Yes, we were full of lust and desire and there was no doubt in my mind we could take one another and be completely fulfilled and satisfied, but I wasn't sure what the future held for us. I was still having a hard time wrapping my mind around a vampire and a human mate. It wasn't that I didn't feel that pull to her. Actually, I'd never experienced such a connection in any vampire pairing before; not even with Carlisle and Esme, and up until now, they were the strongest mates I'd ever encountered.

But, it wasn't just the physical connection that stirred me when I kissed Bella. It was something deeper. That was what I'd been fighting all week and a part of me was still trying to push her away. I could feel all of the trust she had for me and the anticipation of what was to come. She was so full of hope and it scared me.

_How could I ever be the man she needed me to be? _

She was also afraid and unsure. She said things were moving too fast and I had to agree. She wasn't ready for this; for me. I had to be fair to us both. I knew now that I'd be whatever she needed me to be; in whatever capacity she asked. But, I couldn't force her into a life she didn't want. There was a time when she wanted nothing more than to be one of us, but she wasn't that girl anymore. Not only could I see the changes in her, but I could feel them.

I left her sleeping in the middle of the night. It was a coward thing to do, but I couldn't risk looking into her eyes. If I attempted to say goodbye, I'd still be there, probably making love to her. The pull between us was too strong now and it took everything I had to leave Forks. I just couldn't risk throwing her emotions into the mix too. I turned back three times, but Peter finally convinced me I had to find my answers and the sooner I left, the sooner I'd come back. He and Char agreed to stay behind and look after Bella for me. I couldn't bear to leave her alone and unprotected. It broke my heart to think what would happen when she opened her eyes and discovered I'd left.

I was doing it for her. I told her I needed answers and she seemed to understand. It was all happening so fast, too fast and if I was going to do this, as if I even had a choice anymore, I was going to do it right. And, my ex-wife was going to tell me exactly how to do that.

She opened the door and smiled before I even had a chance to knock.

"Expecting me, Alice?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm impressed." She smiled, "I didn't think you'd be able to pull yourself away from Bella so soon after discovering what she meant to you."

"I was never one to waste time," I said. "You look really good." And, I noticed she was happy and carefree, just the way I always intended her to be.

"I've missed you Jasper." She pulled me into a hug. "I'm glad your eyes are the proper color. It was hard watching you struggle with that this past year."

"I'm not completely sure the struggle is over," I admitted.

"It is." She smiled. "How in the world do you expect to feed from humans when you've fallen in love with one?"

"Fallen in love?" I'd never thought about it that way. "I'm drawn to Bella in a way that I've never been before, but love? "

"Well, I've had years to watch your unique relationship develop, so I guess you're not there yet."

"Yeah, why don't we talk about what you've been seeing?" I moved to come inside, but she stood blocking me.

"Wait!" she yelled and I felt her panic.

"What is it?" I asked as I pushed past her, but as soon as I inhaled I knew what she wanted to tell me.

I stared at her and then I immediately felt like I was walking into a trap.

"Why?" I asked. "Why is he here?"

"Jazz," she said. "I can explain."

I growled and crouched down, looking around the room. He was the one threat who could interfere in my life with Bella.

_Why would Alice bring the two of us together?_

"Settle down Jasper," Edward said as he walked toward me. "I'm not here to make you change your mind, if anything I'm here to convince you to go back."

I monitored his emotions for a few seconds. "You're not lying."

He shook his head.

"But, you're not happy either," I noted.

"When is he ever happy?" Alice asked.

"You two better tell me what's going on," I said. "I've come a long way and I'm not feelin' real good about leaving Forks in the first place."

Alice clapped her hands. "I knew you'd figure it out!"

"I haven't figured out anything yet, so why don't you two enlighten me since I know you've seen it all in her head."

"Come in and we'll talk," Edward offered. "I didn't want any part of this, but you know how persistent she can be."

"All too well." I rolled my eyes and entered the cottage. It smelled of the two of them and it all looked so cozy and lived in. I read their emotions, trying to see what they were to one another.

Edward laughed, clearly reading my mind.

"No way!" He shook his head. "Not in this lifetime or any other for that matter."

"What?" Alice said. "Oh, gross, you don't think we're... Eww…that's like incest or something."

"Okay." I smiled. "I get the way you feel about one another. It's the same brotherly/sisterly love I've always felt, so why are you playing house?"

"She didn't give me much of a choice," Edward sighed. "And, really what else did I have to do?"

"Can we get this show on the road then?" I asked.

"Ahh, he misses his Bella-boo," Alice teased.

"Right," I sighed.

_Bella –boo?_

"Look, Edward, I get why Alice would want to help me with the love connection, because she knew we were never mated, but I know how you felt about Bella, so why would you help me?"

"I did feel very strongly about Bella," he admitted. "I still do, but not the way that would bind us eternally. She's my singer. She's funny, strong, caring, beautiful and a good person."

Listening to Edward talk about Bella made me miss her even more.

_How could I have left her?_

"I thought she was the one, but after the night of her birthday, I realized I couldn't protect her and I was never going to be able to give her what she wanted. I didn't want her as a vampire, but I couldn't have her while she was human. It was very confusing."

"So, when you left her, you still had no idea that I would eventually find her?" I asked, trying to understand his motivation.

"No," he said. "I didn't find that out until after you left and Alice let me in her head to see what she had been seeing for years."

"Alice, if you knew Bella was meant for me, why did you allow Edward to get attached to her? And, then put Bella through all that heartache?"

"I asked the same questions in the beginning," Edward sighed and I felt his remorse and anguish over what had transpired. "Alice made me understand through her visions, so I hope she'll be able to help you see it too."

"It's all so complicated," Alice said. "I was always honest about our futures. I knew we weren't mated and I knew Bella wasn't Edward's mate. He proved that when he left her that night. If he was truly her mate, he could never have left her alone and afraid."

"Which, by the way," I said. "I'm not thrilled that you did that."

"I'm not proud of myself either, but I didn't know how else to make her understand. I felt horrible and even considered going back to her and telling her I was lying."

"But," Alice interjected. "I told him he couldn't do that. You had already left and were feeding from humans by that point and I knew if Edward went back to Bella, it would change everything. He would have stayed with her out of obligation and guilt and we would have lost you forever."

"I still don't understand how you could watch what unfolded between Bella and Edward," I said. "It all seemed so unnecessary."

"You weren't ready for Bella anymore than she was ready for you," Alice said. "You're still having trouble figuring it out. I may have visions, but I've learned not to interfere with the natural course of things. I'm learning to be an observer."

I could feel how bad she felt about what had happened to Edward, Bella and myself, but she struggled. I could feel that.

"I realized early on that these particular visions were stronger than anything I'd ever experienced before. I didn't know that Bella was your future until Edward saved her from the van. All of my prior visions of you and your future mate suddenly started to make sense. Your mate finally had a face. But, because she was Edward's singer and he started to feel protective of her I didn't know what to think. Some days, she was happy with Edward and sometimes I could even see them together for a really long time, but the closer they became the more ominous your future became. I kept having visions of you doing very dark things."

"It wasn't easy for Alice," Edward said. "She was going through this all by herself."

"Why didn't you just tell us?" I asked.

"Neither of you would have believed me," she said. "Edward was convinced he was in love with Bella and would you have ever grasped the concept of a human mate? You constantly struggled with your thirst. You're the last vampire I would've expected to fall for a human."

"You saw me attack her," I said. "That's why you insisted on throwing her that stupid birthday party. You set it all in motion."

She nodded.

I could feel how conflicted she was when she thought back to that night.

"I had to give you a clear path to her soul," Alice admitted. "Everything that happened since that night has brought the two of you back together. The only event that seemed to seal your future was to throw that party. I've never seen visions more clear than those of the two of you. It's one of the most spiritual experiences in my long existence. My own future doesn't have that kind of an impact on me."

"I realize how hard this must be for the both of you, but didn't you see what she was going through? How much we hurt her?" I asked. "The threats we left behind?"

"Alice's visions seem to have gaps in them concerning Bella," Edward said. "We think it has to do with the wolves. We don't always see everything she's doing. And, as for Victoria, we had no idea that she'd come back for Bella. It wasn't until we saw her in Seattle did we figure it out, but Alice always saw you taking care of that."

"You saved your mate," Alice said. "You were protecting her and you didn't even know it."

"How can I mate with a human?" I asked. "It goes against everything we are. It's never been done before."

"It has," Edward said. "Carlisle researched it. Vampires and humans have existed throughout the ages together. It's more common than you think."

"Bella's not even supposed to know about our existence, so how am I supposed to keep her as my companion? How can I protect her?"

"Carlisle and Esme have been in Italy, finding out everything they can," Alice said. "Apparently, when a vampire falls for a human, there's some sort of allowance for exposing our secret."

"So, the Volturi knows about Bella?" I asked, not liking that thought at all.

"No." Edward shook his head. "We'd never risk her that way. We didn't tell Carlisle which one of us falls in love with a human. He knew Bella wasn't my mate, so she never factored into any of this."

"We wanted him to go to Italy, but didn't want him in danger of Aro's gift," Alice said. "He researched the possibility of a human and a vampire, but was able to keep the information from Aro because he really knew nothing."

"What did he find out?" I couldn't believe I was even entertaining this possibility.

"What choice do you have?" Edward asked.

_Stay outta my head._

He smiled.

"The Volturi has a human receptionist," Alice said. "Her name is Gianna and she's mated to one of the guards. According to Aro, when a bond is that strong, not even vampire law can fight it. Eventually, they will change her, but he's leaving the decision up to the two of them. He told Carlisle that if one of us were to mate with a human, he'd allow us some time, but eventually he expected that the human would be changed. That part is still non-negotiable."

"It only makes sense," Edward agreed and I was kinda surprised. "If she's your mate then wouldn't you have to spend eternity with her?"

"You were dead set against changing her," I reminded him.

"She wasn't mine to change," he said. "And, experiencing what she is to you through Alice's visions, well, you don't have a choice,"

"When will I do it?" I asked.

"She's not ready," Alice said. "She's still young and healing from what she's been through. Plus, she's not ready to leave Charlie."

"But, will she ever be able to?" I asked. "None of us would choose this life."

"She will," Alice said. "And, you'll both know when the time is right."

"You've seen it?" I asked.

She nodded.

"But, for now," Edward said. "You have to get to know her. You need to experience some of this life together before you can bring her into our life."

I nodded because I agreed. As much as I wanted Bella to be like me, I couldn't do that if she wasn't ready.

"And, what about the two of you?" I asked.

"Don't worry about us." Alice smiled. "We're going to be just fine."

"We're meeting up with the others," Edward said. "Carlisle's taken a research position at a pretty prominent hospital in France and we're going with him."

"That sounds nice." I wondered if Alice and Edward were destined to find their true mates.

"Alice has seen that too." Edward smiled and for the first time in decades, I felt genuinely good and positive emotions emitting from him.

"I told you to stay out of my head." I laughed.

"Oh, Edward gets really excited at the thought of what's really waiting for us in France." Alice clapped. "Not much longer, I promise." She smiled at him.

"I don't want to talk about it," Edward warned her.

"He's afraid we'll jinx it," Alice informed me. "Now, you better get back to Forks. You got one pissed off human waiting for you."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "She'll forgive me for leaving, right?"

"Yeah," Alice said. "But, right now, she's driving Peter crazy!"

"Ah Fuck!" I shook my head.

"And, he won't put up with her the way you do," Alice said.

"You have no idea the pain in the ass she's become since you left." I glared at Edward. "And, Peter has less patience than I do."

"But, she's your pain in the ass now." He extended his hand for mine. "Please take care of her. She's really special."

"I know," I whispered. "Will we meet up soon? I'm sure Bella would like to see you all."

"We have an eternity to come back together," Edward said.

"Bella needs you right now," Alice said. "When she's like us then she'll want us too, but for now, you two need to connect. You have so much to discover about one another and so much to teach each other. Just be patient with her."

Alice hugged me. "I love you and I did all of this for you."

"Thank you," I whispered. "I love you too."

"We'll see you soon." She winked. "Now go tell her how you really feel."

"You sure she's ready to hear it?" I asked.

"She's been waiting her entire life for this," Edward said. "She's always belonged in our world. It just wasn't supposed to be me who brought her there."

Bella knew when I first came back to Forks. She knew before I did. I felt her persistence and it annoyed me. I thought I wanted to be left alone, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't turn her away. Now, I just had to figure out how we could proceed from here. She was my mate. Peter knew it and Alice saw it. But, the one question still remained…

_Could a vampire and a human really make it?_

*****So, the conversation that took place between Alice, Jasper and Edward came from my imagination and is intended for this AU that I have created. I also know that many of you who read my fics HATE when I make Edward and Alice happy and you usually have no problems telling me how much you hate it. Lol Cut me a break this time. PLEASE!**

*****How many of you think Bella is driving Peter out of his mind?**


	12. Chapter 12

*****Thanks for all the responses. We broke 1000 and I couldn't have been more shocked over that. This was supposed to be a little o/s. So, THANKS!**

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz, TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy.**

**Bella**

As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew he wasn't here. I felt his absence almost as strongly as I did his presence. The sensation made me gasp for air. I shot up into a seated position, hopped out of bed and started looking for my things. I needed to get out of here before I went crazy.

"Slow down, sugar," Peter said.

"Oh!" I screamed. "What are you doing in here?"

_Damn, quiet vampires._

"Keepin' track of you," he said.

"He left," I said. "Why would he leave me here?"

"Look, get a hold of yourself 'cause I can't calm you down the way J can."

"I don't want you to calm me down," I said. "I don't want anything from you or _him_ for that matter."

I couldn't believe that after all of that kissing and 'we belong together Bella' crap, he'd leave. How could I have been so friggin' stupid!

"He's comin' back," he said. "Just had a little business to tend to in Alaska."

"Alaska? What the hell's so important in Alaska that he had to sneak out the window in the middle of the night?"

"Actually, it was more like 5 am and he went out the front door." He smiled.

"Whatever! I'm leaving," I informed him.

"Umm, yeah, no you're not," he said.

"Excuse me?"I didn't think it was possible, but there was someone actually ruder than Jasper. Was it some kind of southern vamp code?

"Jasper asked me to look after you until he gets back and I can't do that if you're not here."

"Well, I don't give a rat's ass what he asked you to do." I threw my shoes on. "I don't answer to him and I really don't care what he wants."

"You don't think so, little one?" He laughed. "By the time he gets back here, you'll be so taken by him you won't know what hit you. You'll be beggin' for him and wanting to do whatever he says."

"Like that'll ever happen." I laughed.

"Keep laughin'," he said. "You'll see. It's a consuming feeling and you'll have no choice but to comply."

"I'm not a vampire, so I don't feel things the same way you do." I was lying through my teeth. My heart hurt, my insides were jumping and my head was spinning over the loss of Jasper.

"Right." He nodded his head because he didn't believe me for a second. "Look, Char's all excited about making you breakfast, so clean up and come downstairs."

"Stop telling me what to do," I demanded. "Who do you think you are?"

"The Major's second in command," he said. "And, he's asked me to do something for him, so I'm doin' it. And, some snotty little human is not gonna stand in my way."

"Peter!" Char screamed from downstairs. "Leave Bella alone."

"Come down and eat," he said a bit softer. "For Char?"

I nodded.

I didn't see the harm in eating before I left.

I went downstairs and ate more than I had in months. It was the best meal I think I'd ever had and it was nice having someone cook for me for a change. I could get used to this.

"Where did you learn to cook like that?" I asked.

"I've been around a long time," Char said. "And, Peter gives in to my every whim. You should see the kitchen I have back in Texas."

"What do you do in it?" I asked.

Peter laughed.

Char smiled at him.

"Oh," I blushed.

"Well, I cook in there too," she said. "I used to make all these gourmet meals and throw them out, but now when I cook I give the food to homeless people."

"Really? You feed random humans? Is that like fatting up the Thanksgiving turkey before you eat it?"

"Jasper felt guilty about feeding from some homeless people a few months ago, so now he makes me feed them," she explained.

"Well, that's sorta sweet, isn't it?" The thought of Jasper wanting to make up for feeding from homeless people made me miss him even more.

"Fuckin' perfect." Peter rolled his eyes.

"Maybe you should accept that Jasper doesn't want to feed from humans," I said. "That's why he came back here. He knew he wouldn't be able to here. This was a safe place for him."

"She has a point," Char said. "And, she's defending her man."

"Look, I'm not here to discuss Jasper's diet," he said. "He's a big boy and he can hunt any way he wants to. He can drain 'em or brood over them. It's his life."

"Well, he doesn't have to lose anymore, err, sleep over me."

Peter and Char just stared at me.

"Well, you know what I mean," I said. "I'm not sticking around here and waiting like some love sick teenager. He left and so can I."

"No!" Char said. "Don't leave."

"I have to," I said. "And as a woman you should understand."

"Bella," Peter said.

"Oh, you do know my name." I smiled.

"Yeah, I'm just not used to naming my food source." He smirked.

I liked him, but I wasn't gonna admit that out loud. His ego was already too big.

"Cut Jasper a break," he said. "You have no idea how unusual this is. A vampire and a human usually don't mix. He'll be back soon. He really has no choice."

"He could have said goodbye," I said. "Left a note, a text, sent a carrier pigeon?"

"This isn't some high school love story," he said. "When he comes back, you'll see."

"Maybe," I said. "But, he knows where to find me. I gotta go."

"You're not leavin'," he said. "Jasper asked us to look after you and I ain't gonna fail him."

"Well, I'm not gonna cooperate," I said, standing my ground.

_I learned that in therapy._

"Bella," Char said. "Please excuse my husband. We're not used to communicating with your kind and he is fiercely loyal to Jasper which means he's now extremely protective of you."

Peter nodded in agreement.

"I appreciate it, but it's not needed," I said. "I have enough protectors and as a matter of fact my friend Jake is on his way to come and get me. I texted him before breakfast."

"Text him back and tell him not to come." Peter growled. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

I giggled.

"What's so funny?" Before I could answer, Peter and Char crinkled their noses and headed for the door.

_My ride must be here._

I walked out to the front porch to find Jake standing in human form with the entire pack close behind him in wolf form. It was actually beautiful to see.

"You ready, Bells?" he asked.

"What the fuck is this?" Peter asked.

"My friend Jake." I stepped around them and headed for Jake. "I didn't tell you he was a wolf?"

"Bella," Peter yelled. "You're not leaving with him."

"You don't think so, little one?" I smiled.

"Oh!" Char said. "I like her. Can we keep her?"

"Tell the Major I'm done waiting!" I said. "If he wants me, he'll have to come and get me."

Peter smirked and simply said, "I'll deliver the message."

Jake drove me back home and then came inside. I knew I had some explaining to do.

"Jake," I said. "Thanks for the rescue."

"It was hardly a rescue," he said. "I didn't get to kill one of them."

I shook my head.

"What's going on Bella? Where's Jasper?" he asked.

"Alaska." I plopped down on the couch and felt the loss. "He'll be back."

"How can you be so sure? How do you know he's not pulling an Edward?" he asked.

"He wouldn't do that. It's different this time," I said. "It has to be different this time."

"What do you mean?"

"The only way for me to describe it, is like when you explained that whole imprinting thing to me," I said. "It's a pull you can't ignore. When he looks at me I lose my breath and want to give in to him completely. I want to do what he asks and make him happy. I want what he wants in that moment. And, it's not like I'm giving in or doing something I don't want. I've been missing something my entire life."

He nodded.

"After what happened with Edward, I didn't think I'd ever feel again, but in this one week with Jasper, I've felt more than I have in my whole life. He's everything to me and the crazy thing is neither one of us has even admitted anything to the other. But, it doesn't have to be spoken. Can you understand or have I just totally lost my mind?"

"Sam was right." He shook his head. "I thought he'd lost his mind."

"Sam was right about what?"

"When we came to get you the other day, he told me I needed to back off. What was happening between you and Jasper was inevitable. He called him your mate."

"That's what it's called for a vampire, but how did Sam know?" I asked.

"He said he could tell by Jasper's posture, the way he stepped in front of you to protect you from me and how he looked at you. Sam compared it to our imprinting, too."

"So then you get it?" I asked, wanting him to confirm I wasn't nuts.

"Not personally, but I've heard the thoughts of the others and I know what it's like for them, so if you say that's what you're feeling for Jasper, then I won't interfere. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"Me either, but it's like I have no control," I sighed. "That's a little scary."

"So, if you're so attached to him, why did you leave the house?" he asked. "Why didn't you wait for him to come back?"

"Because when I'm with him, all normal thoughts go out the window. When I'm close to him, I want to be whatever he needs me to be. I'd do anything for him. But, when I woke up and he was gone, it hurt. I know he had his reasons, but by me leaving, well, it's like I can still be me. You know? I can't lose myself again. Not even for my mate. If that's what he is."

"Good for you, Bella." He flashed me that brilliant smile of his.

"Thanks for getting it," I said. "And, for everything you've done for me."

"You've done a lot for me too," he said. "And, just because you've joined the other side, it doesn't mean I won't still be here for you."

"There doesn't have to be any sides as far as I'm concerned," I told him. "I'm still Bella and I'm still human."

"But, for how long?" he whispered.

Jake spent the rest of the afternoon with me and we had the best time. We had ice cream, watched a movie and talked for hours. But, when Jake left an overwhelming sadness came over me. How long would I know this life? I knew in my heart, I would go wherever Jasper went. I didn't have a choice.

The next two days, I tried to go about my daily routine, but I had trouble focusing. If I knew where he was in Alaska, I would've tracked him down myself, but that wasn't going to happen. I guessed that was why vampires made better mates for one another. As a human, I didn't stand a chance at finding Jasper. So, I had to wait.

I was kicking myself now for not exchanging cell numbers with him. How ridiculous was that? We were supposed to be mated, but I had no way to reach him.

_Mated?_

That was such a strange word. And, to be honest, I didn't think I even fully comprehended it yet. Jasper had a lot of explaining to do when he got back.

I got ready for bed and then settled in with a book. I had no intention of reading it, but I was trying really hard to keep my mind off him. The more I thought about him leaving, the angrier I became. And, as each day passed, the more anxious I felt. I didn't like this feeling at all and I refused to let myself slip back into that place. The one place I swore I'd never go back to. I would fight for my sanity.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. It seemed to be working because I felt this warmth come over me and I smiled because it reminded me of when Jasper used his gift to manipulate me. It was always such a peaceful feeling, but how the hell did I do it?

_Maybe it wasn't me at all._

That pain in my chest, that deep ache was suddenly replaced with everything good and special. It wasn't complicated or tainted. It was pure and perfect. I slowly opened my eyes and saw him standing over me.

"Hello, darlin'." He smiled. "Miss me?"

*****Drabble in Peter's POV next.**


	13. Chapter 13

*****Thanks again for all your kind words! Some of you say the nicest things to me and RL has been really difficult this week, so you have no idea what your words mean.**

*****Some of you are wondering why it's taking Jasper so long to get back. It's really only been two days. I have no personal experience on how long it would take a vampire to run from Forks to Alaska and back, so two days seemed like a "realistic" amount of time in my head with stopping to hunt and meeting with Alice and Edward. But, what do I know? lol**

*****Just a short drabble in Peter's POV…**

**Peter**

I hated to admit it, but I did like the human. She had a little spark to her and she was exactly what Jasper needed to pull him out of this funk he'd been in. While it wasn't a common occurrence for a vampire and a human to interact, much less mate, it seemed fitting that it would happen to Jasper.

When he was with the Cullens, he seemed to struggle the most with the animal diet and was often referred to as their weakest link. I never fully understood why he continued to put himself through that, especially after he admitted to me that Alice was not his true mate. It wasn't until he joined up with me and Char last year, did I realize the animal diet was the best thing for him. It took a great amount of effort on his part to feed from humans and the harder he tried, the more difficult it became.

He'd only been here a little over a week, but already I could see how well he was doing with his new source of food. It didn't work for him before because he needed a reason for it to be okay for a vampire to feed from animals and not humans. He found his reason and Alice knew exactly what she was doing by sending him back here when she did.

My phone was buzzing in my pocket, but I dreaded answering it. He would not be pleased with me.

"J," I answered. "How's it going?"

"I'm on my way back," he said. "How's Bella?"

"Well, that was fast," I said. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yeah, it's all so obvious now," he said. "Is Bella with you?"

"Sort of." It wasn't a complete lie because I was standing outside her bedroom window making sure she stayed out of harm's way.

"What does that mean?" I could hear the agitation in his voice.

"She went home," I admitted.

"What? I gave you one job and that was to look after my Bella. Why is she not at the house?"

"Calm down," I yelled. "Have I ever failed you?"

"Of course not," he answered.

"I'm still looking after her, but she's a little feisty and doesn't like to be told what to do. She doesn't listen and that's gonna be a real problem for you."

"Tell me about it," he mumbled.

"And, you failed to mention, _your _Bella runs with the wolves. She had the entire pack come and retrieve her from the house."

Jasper snickered into the phone. "Well, at least we know my girl's resourceful."

"Your girl is fuckin' pissed, is what she is," I warned him. "So, you better get your ass back here and bring all your charm and emotional manipulation bullshit with you because she doesn't seem like she's gonna comply the way a vamp mate would."

"Thanks for the warning," he sighed. "I'll be there soon."

I shoved the phone back in my pocket and looked up to find Bella staring down at me from her window.

"Hey, sugar." I smiled as I leaned up against a tree. "How's it goin'?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head before huffing, slamming it shut and moving back into her bedroom.

_Yup, Major Jasper Whitlock had definitely met his match…_

*****The real chapter will be up this weekend.**


	14. Chapter 14

*****Thanks! I wish I could respond back to all of you, but then I couldn't keep up this writing pace. And, I have a feeling you're looking for the chapter instead of a response from me. lol But, I appreciate all of your comments. And, hello to all my new reviewers!**

*****Thanks TwiCarol, Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and Lady Tazz.**

**Jasper**

I climbed into her window and watched as she tried to settle in for the evening. She was such a restless little thing. She tossed and turned and kicked the covers off the bed. She wasn't asleep yet and I could feel she was trying to relax herself with her mind.

_It wasn't working._

I smirked because I could definitely help with that. I focused in on her and sent her a few calming vibes, but as soon as I did she must have realized what was happening. She slowly opened her eyes and I immediately felt her relief over seeing me. I didn't realize how much I'd missed her until this moment. The connection was getting stronger. It was the most intense sensation I'd ever felt and that was saying a lot coming from an empath.

"Hello darlin'." I smiled. "Miss me?"

"Get out!" She screamed as she jumped out of her bed faster than I'd ever seen her move before.

"What?" She was furious.

"You left me." I could feel the desperation radiating from her.

"I had to," I admitted. "I needed to go see Alice."

"Alice?" Her jealousy spiked and I couldn't help but smile until she picked up the lamp and hurled it at my head. Luckily, my reflexes were faster, but the lamp shattered into a hundred pieces and put a hole in the wall.

"Bella, you gotta…"

"Don't you dare manipulate me!" She screamed. "You left me with that crass, rude vampire. How is Charlotte mated to him?"

"Sometimes we don't choose." I smiled because I never would have thought a year ago that Bella Swan was who I would end up with. But now, I couldn't imagine my life without her.

"Well, good, I hope your mate finds you soon. But, I feel really sorry for her. Now get out!"

_Like I believed for one second she wanted me to go._

"Come here." I didn't really give her a chance to object. I grabbed her and pulled her toward me, resting my hands on either side of her hips.

"Jasper," she whispered. "No, I'm mad at you."

"I don't believe that." I kissed her neck and slowly ran my fingers through her hair. "I should be mad at you for not doing what Peter told you I wanted. We're gonna have to work on your listening skills."

"If you think I'm ever gonna bow down to your will, you're outta your freakin' mind! Now let me go!" She tried to pull out of my hold, but I was never letting go.

"Do you know how far Alaska is from Forks?" I ran my lips along her jaw and I could feel her dropping her defense.

She nodded.

"I made it there and back in record time." I continued to kiss her neck, working my way along her jaw and stopping just at her lips. "Do you know why?"

"No." She swallowed hard.

"I had to get back to you," I whispered against her lips as I took her hand and intertwined our fingers. "And you know what I learned?"

She shook her head.

"I can't ever leave you again," I spoke against her mouth.

"Not ever?" I could feel her need.

"Not ever, Bella. You belong to me." I pulled her lips to mine and slowly kissed her, feeling all of her anger and anxiety leave her immediately. I didn't even have to manipulate her emotions; just being close to me was all she needed.

She tangled her fingers in my hair and in between kisses she whispered, "And, you belong to me."

"Always." I pushed her down on the bed and moved in next to her. She turned to face me and then pressed her palm to my cheek. I closed my eyes and indulged in her warmth. I liked when she touched me. It had a calming effect on me I'd never experienced before.

"How did this happen?" she asked. "Why now?"

"It chooses us sometimes," I said.

"Why did you try to fight it?"

"It was different than anything I'd ever experienced before," I admitted. "From the moment you showed up here last week, I knew something powerful was happening when you were standing on the porch debating on whether to knock. Then you decided it wasn't worth it, but I couldn't let you leave, so I grabbed you and pulled you inside."

"But, it was clear you didn't want me here," she said and I could feel the rejection she felt over the memory.

"Not at first," I spoke honestly. "I thought I wanted to feed from you, but when I threw you down on the couch, I couldn't do it. It made me angry and confused."

She gently kissed my lips and stroked my hair.

"Then when you left with the wolves, I felt this ache deep within my chest. I'd never experienced a lost like that before. I still didn't want to accept it. But, you were so persistent, showing up that night after I got out of the shower."

I felt her lust spike.

"Soon." I whispered as I kissed her. "You need to be absolutely sure because once we consummate this union, I won't ever be able to leave your side."

She hitched her leg over my hip and moved herself as close to me as physically possible. I could feel her heart beating against my chest.

"I want that," she said. "I want you to make me yours. I don't completely understand what's going on, but I know it goes beyond anything I ever thought possible."

"I know you're confused and I'm gonna try to explain, but what's between us is different than what Carlisle and Esme have or Em and Rose because you're not a vampire."

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked.

"When two vampires come together, it's called mating."

"I know, like James and Victoria," she said. "That's why she was coming after me, she thought I was responsible for killing her mate."

"Yeah, well, I set her straight just before I broke her neck. I told her I threw him in the fire."

"I don't remember that part," she said. "I was busy burning from the inside."

"So, you understand the concept of a vampire mate. It puts us together for eternity. One can't physically be without the other for long periods of time. They feel the need to protect one another. It's an attraction they can't fight."

"That's how I've felt all week," I said. "I don't like being away from you."

"I tried to fight it, but I knew something was different when you showed up here last week. It's hard to be close to you, but I don't want to hurt you. I've never been able to be around a human before and not have some desire to drain them."

"But, you don't want to drain me?" I felt her fear.

I shook my head.

"What do you want to do with me?"

I growled at the thought of claiming her, but I had to maintain some sort of control. She was still human after all and I knew how intense the mating pull could become. I'd felt it through the others many times before.

"I want you more than I've ever wanted another," I whispered against her jaw.

"If that's what keeps you with me always." I could feel her desperation mixing in with her desire and hunger for me. "Please, Jasper, make love to me."

I gently tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth and then sucked it into my mouth. She pushed her tongue inside my mouth and kissed me with as much force as she could manage as she quickly worked to unbutton my shirt. My body trembled when I felt her warm hands run over my chest and down my abs. She climbed up on top of me and quickly pressed her lips to mine before slowly kissing down my neck, stopping to lick over the crescent shaped mark just over where the blood used to pulse under my skin. I tangled my fingers in her hair and gently guided her down my chest.

"Bella," I whispered as she kissed over as many of my scars as she could. "You don't have to do that."

"You're perfect." She smiled as she looked up at me before moving her lips down the center of my stomach. She kissed and licked just above the waistband of my jeans and to my surprise I felt her reaching for my belt buckle. My dick was practically jumping up and down at the thought of her warm mouth in such close proximity. It had been a long time since anyone put their lips around that part of my body.

Once my belt was undone, she moved to my button.

_What was she doing?_

With shaky hands she managed to get my pants undone, but I could feel her anxiety as she lowered the zipper. She stopped and looked up at me.

"Bella?"

"I want…" she stopped and I felt her embarrassment.

"I'll give you anything you want, baby." And, I would. She would never lack anything she desired from this day forward.

"I want you, but I don't know how," she admitted. "You have to teach me."

I tilted her chin up and looked deep into her eyes, reading her emotions. She was aroused and she wanted something, but she didn't know what it was. I had to remember to take it slow with her. She'd never done anything like this before and she needed time.

"I'll teach you anything you want to know," I said as I pulled her up and flipped her on her back. "But, right now, I have something to show you."

She looked up at me with wide eyes. She was anticipating my next move almost as much as I was. I positioned myself between her legs and leaned down, brushing my lips against her neck, before moving down over her nipple. I gently sucked it into my mouth through the thin material of her tank top. She let out a soft sigh and then arched her back, forcing more of her covered breast into my mouth. I licked and sucked, but it wasn't enough.

"This isn't gonna work, beautiful," I said as I pulled her shirt up over her head, exposing her perfect tits to me. She gave me a seductive smile and it pleased me to see how comfortable she was to allow me to take in her beauty.

"You're not shy because you belong to me." I kissed each of her nipples before lowering my lips to her flat stomach, swirling my tongue inside her belly button, darting it in and out. She moaned at the contact.

"While we're at it," I said as I pushed her tight little boy shorts over her hips and down her legs, leaving her in nothing but a tiny pair of black panties.

_She was gonna make me blow my load without even touching me._

"You're scent drives me insane," I moaned against her inner thigh before running my tongue along her panties, making sure to press against her opening.

"Oh, Jas…" She wiggled underneath me. "More."

I smiled against her mound, but did as she asked. I moved her panties to the side and ran my tongue along her now uncovered slit. If her smell was heavenly, her taste was ten times better. I would remember her taste on my tongue for the rest of my existence.

I let out a low growl when she slipped her fingers in my hair. She tensed up, but that wasn't the reaction I was hoping for.

"It's not your blood I'm lusting for," I assured her. "I want more of you."

I ripped the panties from her body, eliciting a short gasp of surprise from her. I licked my lips at the sight of her; naked and laid out before me.

_Mine._

"You're amazing," I whispered, making sure to get a good, long look at this flawless woman; my woman. "And, I intend to explore every last inch of you. Starting right here."

I pushed my tongue inside her folds and slowly licked as much of her as I could. I closed my eyes and tried to slow down. Her taste was too much. I wanted more, I wanted all of her.

She moaned and writhed underneath me. Her lust was crashing into me harder than I'd ever experienced before. I licked and sucked her clit, gently biting down on it and relishing in the taste of her juices flowing into my mouth. I pushed two fingers inside her, spreading her open for me.

"Jas…" She screamed as she lifted her hips off the bed, forcing her pussy closer to my face.

I gripped her thigh with my free hand and moved my tongue at vampire speed. Bella couldn't take anymore. Her leg slapped against my shoulder, and then she shook against my face, screaming out her release.

_Thank God Charlie was workin'!_

I licked her thighs, greedily sucking at her skin, trying to lap up as much of her fluids as I could before kissing my way up her stomach, over her breasts and finally to her lips. Her heart was thumping against her chest so hard and her breathing was labored. I sent her a few tranquil waves, helping her to settle down.

"Jasper." She barely managed to breathe out. "I…"

"I know." I laughed.

"You have more than one gift." She giggled.

"You have no idea the things I'm capable of, sweetheart." I gently kissed her.

"But?" She stopped and bit her bottom lip. "What about you?"

"It's enough to just be close to you for now," I admitted. "I don't want to lose control."

"Is it difficult being with me?"

"No, surprisingly not," I said. "I couldn't hurt you like that, but I've never wanted anyone the way I want you, so I have to find the balance."

"You won't hurt me," she whispered as she climbed on top of me and straddled my waist. She tugged at my already opened jeans and slipped them just below my hips.

"What are you doing?"

"I know you can handle this." She started grinding into me. "We've done it like this a couple of times." I felt her lust spike as she continued to rock her wet pussy against my cock. I could feel her moisture seeping through my boxers.

I growled as I watched her perfect tits bounce up and down. She closed her eyes and threw her head back. She was clearly enjoying herself.

"Jasper, I can't wait for you to be inside me," she whispered. "It's a need only you can fill."

"Fuck!" I flipped her over and wrapped her legs around my waist, thrusting against her bare sex. I swore this would be the last time I'd take her like this. It took every ounce of control not to push inside her.

I was so close, but I needed to take her with me.

"Bella." I moaned. "I want to show you want I'm feelin'. Is that okay?"

"Hmm…" she moaned. "Show me, make me feel it."

I pushed my desire onto her, holding nothing back. She was full of just as much lust as I was, so the intensity of what we were both feeling was too much. And, within seconds we were both screaming out our release.

I collapsed down next to her and pulled her onto my chest.

"You're a vixen," I whispered as I rubbed her back.

"I wanted to make you feel good, too."

"You did," I said. "But, Isabella, I'm gonna have to be inside you next time."

I felt her excitement.

"You like that idea."

She nodded and then blushed.

"I need you to come back to the house with me tomorrow," I said. "Can you manage that with Charlie?"

"I think so." I felt how much she wanted to be with me.

"I'll stay close while you're at school and work, but I'll need you with me whenever possible."

"Can't get enough of me?"

"No, I can't. But, I'm serious. The more time we spend together, the stronger the bond becomes. I have to have you Bella."

"You already do, Jasper," she whispered.

I pulled her closer to me. "You sleep now," I whispered. "We'll figure this all out. I promise."

"You'll be here when I get up?" I felt her insecurity.

"Of course I will," I said. "You're stuck with me."

"Good." She yawned. "I can hardly keep my eyes open."

"Let me help you settle in." I sent her a burst of lethargic energy.

"Hmm…" she sighed. "Night, Jasper."

She was asleep within seconds, so I pulled the comforter up over her body. I stared down at her and gently kissed her head. There was no turning back now. She was my mate in every sense of the word and I would never leave her side.

*****I'm currently working on a massive outtake for this story that I'm donating to Fandom Gives Back Autism. If you'd like details on this cause, go here… fandomgivesback dot blogspot dot com**

*****I'm also toying with a continuation of this story after I write the outtake. I'll still end this story here in two chapters as I intended and then once I post the outtake, I'll start part two. I won't make it a sequel, but it's not something I can do right away. As I said before, this was always supposed to be a oneshot, but so many of you seem to want so much more and I'd like to deliver, so I'll see what I come up with, but I have a huge idea. Lol**


	15. Chapter 15

*****Thanks again for all the enthusiasm over this story. It makes me smile:)**

*****A special thanks to TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for beta reading and to Lady Tazz for pre-reading. **

*****I don't own any of it.**

**Bella**

"Bella…" he moaned out as I pumped him fast and hard in my hand. I was becoming rather good at this new act Jasper had taught me, but we did practice many times over the past week.

_Practice makes perfect and all…_

I rocked my center into his hip, trying to create some friction but the best part about playing with an empath was…

"Oh God, Jasper…"

_He always took me with him._

I continued to stroke and grip him in my hand as he sent as much of his lust as he could, without killing me, in my direction. But, I have to say, death by a Jasper-induced orgasm wouldn't be the worst way to go.

A few seconds later he was screaming out my name and shooting his cool liquid between my fingers and all over his stomach.

I was panting and rocking against him long after he had composed himself. He reached down and grabbed his shirt, quickly cleaning us both up.

"I…" I took a deep breath. "I was supposed to be making you feel good, remember?"

"Yes, but what kind of man would I be if I didn't take care of you?" He kissed my forehead. "Besides, all I have to do is bounce back to you what we're both feeling and you're a puddle."

I blushed.

"Don't be embarrassed." He snuggled against me. "We're both equally horny."

"Hmm," I said. "So, when are we really gonna do it? Not that I'm complaining, because I've had a really good time this week, but Jasper, I can't stop thinking about what it would be like for you to take me."

"I know, me too," he admitted. "Peter and Char are leaving today, and then we'll have the house all to ourselves. I think you'll be more comfortable that way."

"Like they haven't figured out what we've been doing up here all week? You practically never let me out of this room." I giggled.

"You're naked all the time," he said. "I can't let you prance around the house with Peter downstairs."

"You're the one who takes my clothes off," I reminded him.

"Can't help it," he said. "And, when they leave, you can walk around completely naked in any room in the house."

"Same goes for you." I smiled.

"You can count on it, darlin'." He sat up and pulled me into a seated position. "But, now we need to get cleaned up and head downstairs so we can say goodbye."

I felt sad they were leaving. As much as Peter drove me crazy, I did like him. He was snarky and witty. And, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was rather charming when he wanted to be. Plus, I liked when he told me stories about Jasper's past. And, Char was so warm and kind. When Jasper went hunting, she came up and sat with me. Sometimes, we'd talk for hours about girl stuff. I was too embarrassed to tell Jasper, but Char was giving me quite the education on how to please a vamp man. I was really going to miss the time we were spending together.

"Hey." He tiled my chin up. "It won't be forever. We're gonna head to Texas, remember?"

I nodded. We had decided I'd finish up the semester here and we'd spend the holidays with Charlie and then in January, we'd travel and Jasper would take me to Texas to see where he came from. I was really looking forward to getting to know him and see his history for myself.

"Jasper?"

"What is it?" I saw the concern in his eyes.

"When you take me to Texas, is that when you'll change me?" We hadn't discussed that part of our lives yet. He told me what Edward and Alice told him in Alaska about us being true mates. He said that eventually I'd see the Cullens again when I was like them, but he wouldn't elaborate.

"Bella," he sighed. "I'm not gonna do anything you don't want. We still have so much to learn about one another and I thought we could travel and maybe you could finish school. I'd be willing to go with you, if you wanted."

"But, how could you be satisfied with me as your mate, if I'm not like you?"

"Do you want to be like me, Bella?"

I nodded.

"I don't feel your certainty," he said. "And, that's okay."

"But, before I wanted to be like you more than anything." I remembered begging Edward on more than one occasion to make me one of them.

"Yes, well, I think last time, you wanted to be one of us for the wrong reasons. It was more about getting Edward to accept you and be with you."

I put my head down.

"Don't be ashamed of that," he said. "But, you already know how much I want you and not just physically, so you don't have to make any decisions today. We'll know when the time is right. I can wait."

"I do want to spend eternity with you, but I'm not ready to do it yet. I need time."

"And, I'll give you as much time as you need. It's a big decision and I wouldn't pressure you to enter into a life that I didn't freely choose."

"But, you like your life, right?"

"Well, let's just say these past few days, I love my life."

I smiled at him because I knew exactly what he meant.

"But, it took me years to come to terms with what I am. I struggled with my diet and trying to find my place in this world. There were times when I was so desperate and alone that I wished I could end it."

"That makes me sad."

"You don't have to feel sorry for me," he said. "Because whatever I had to endure made me stronger and who I am today. I may have struggled, but everything I did led me to you. I know with every fiber of my being that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. You are who I belong with. So, if I have to wait for you to become like me, I can do that because I know in my dead heart that we will spend forever together."

"You'll wait for me?" I whispered.

"As long as it takes."

The tears were sliding down my cheeks and my nose was running, but Jasper kissed me anyway.

I hiccupped and tried to stop crying.

"Would you like some assistance?" he asked.

"Please," I sobbed. "I don't know how I was lucky enough to find you."

"I'm the lucky one. Close your eyes."

I did what he asked and expected to feel calm and tired, but that wasn't what happened at all.

"This is a new one for me," he whispered. "So, I hope I get it right."

I quickly opened my eyes and stared into his golden ones. My body was warm and tingly. Everything we were experiencing together was fresh and new. I could feel with such clarity what he was trying to express.

"You do?" I asked, breathlessly.

He nodded.

"I've been feeling it from you all week," he admitted. "It gets stronger every day."

He pressed his lips to mine.

"I know how fast this all happened, but when it's meant to be…"

"It's meant to be." I finished his sentence and then continued to kiss him, pouring all the love I had for him out into the open.

"I love you too, Bella."

We kissed and explored one another's bodies with our hands and fingers, but just as I was ready to reached down and stroke him, he stopped me.

"No, my little vixen," he scolded. "Not now."

I pouted.

"Oh, don't you worry." He smirked. "I'm gonna make you feel things you never could have imagined. You will be hoarse from screaming my name over and over again. And, I don't even want to think about how sore you'll be when I'm finished with you. You probably won't be able to walk for days. Maybe even weeks."

_Oh! My! God!_

I shivered and may have had a mini orgasm over his words.

_The man was that good!_

"Now, get in the shower, so we can see my family off."

"Umm, ok, I'll be back soon," I stuttered as I hopped off the bed.

"And, Bella," he purred. "I won't have to use my gift to get you to do what I want."

"Oh!" I stumbled and banged right into the bathroom door.

Jasper laughed and winked at me.

_Oh, how I wanted him to fuck me!_

Char pulled me into a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you," I said. "I like our nightly talks."

"Me too, sweetie." She smiled. "But, we have a really big house and if Jasper agrees, we'd love for you guys to stay with us when you come this winter."

"Oh! I want to, Jasper." I bit my bottom lip and pleaded with my eyes.

He nodded and rolled his eyes.

"You haven't even officially mated yet and already she's got you by the…"

"Peter!" Char warned him.

"Hmm." Jasper smirked. "Looks like I'm not the only one."

"Yeah, well, I already know my place." He laughed. "But, I agree with my beautiful wife. I want you guys to stay with us."

"We'll be there right after Christmas," Jasper said as he took my hand.

"Bella," Char said. "We'll have so much fun. I haven't had a girl around in years, so I'm really looking forward to having you come to Texas."

"Me too." I knew she'd help me come to terms with my decision. We had talked a little bit about me becoming a vampire. She explained some of the obstacles she had to overcome, like super strength, hearing and not being able to shut your mind down ever. She said the hardest part would be learning to control my thirst, but I shouldn't worry about that because I would have Jasper with me every step of the way. That thought brought me great comfort as I looked up and smiled at him.

"What?" He laughed.

"Nothing." I rested my head against him. "I'm just happy I have you."

He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't you two ever stop?" Peter asked. "You've been locked in that bedroom all day."

"Like you have any room to talk," I snapped. "I don't think you and Char come up for air all night long. I hear the sounds that come out of that room." I blushed at my admission.

The three of them just laughed at me.

"Vampires don't have to stop, sugar, we can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'."

"You know what?" I asked.

"What's that, little one?"

"I'm gonna miss you too," I admitted.

"Of course you are." He pulled me away from Jasper and lifted me up off the ground, squeezing me tight.

"Peter," Jasper growled.

"Oh, settle down," he said. "I'm not gonna hurt your little human." He continued to hug me and I giggled against his shoulder. After he aggravated Jasper for a few more minutes, he finally set me down. "See you soon."

Jasper hugged Char and told her he'd be home soon.

Peter and Jasper gave one another a brotherly hug and, even without having Jasper's gift, I could feel the familial emotions swirling around the room. I couldn't help but fill up.

"You take care of our Major," Char told me. "He's really special."

"I know." I smiled at Jasper. "I'll take really good care of him."

Once they left, Jasper wiped the tears from my cheeks and gently kissed my lips.

"I really like them." I said as I walked back into the foyer.

"And, they already love you," he said. "I can feel it."

"I can't wait to head to Texas."

"You'll love it there," he said.

"So," I said. "I was thinking maybe I should go home for a few days and see Charlie?" I hated the thought of leaving here, but I knew Jasper would still be near me even if I spent the night at home.

He didn't say anything, just stared at me from across the room.

"You know, let him see how happy I am. It's been a week since I've been home and when I talk to him on the phone, he seems to understand, but why push him?"

"You can't leave," he whispered as he walked toward me. His eyes were no longer golden anymore. They seemed to be getting darker by the second and the more I talked, the more determined he looked.

"I'm not leaving, just going home for a few days."

He shook his head.

"I don't like that idea," he said. "I have other plans for tonight."

"Really?" I swallowed hard because he was standing so close to me. He smelled really good and I could feel the tingling between my legs intensify. I had images of him licking my entire body and it made me unbelievably wet.

He inhaled and smirked. And then, in an eerily calm voice he said,

"Isabella, you've got about five seconds to get upstairs or I can't be held responsible for claiming you on this foyer floor." He was projecting all of his desire around the room. Both of our lust had been swirling between us all week and it had finally hit the boiling point.

_Fuck! My vamp was gonna make me his._

"Now!" He growled.

*****I know, I know, but I like writing lemons from JPOV and this next one definitely should be told from his perspective;)**


	16. Chapter 16

*****Thanks for reading and commenting on that last chapter. A/N at bottom.**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for helping me make this fic just right.**

*****And, thanks to Lady Tazz who not only pre-read for me, but she's hosting a Twitter read-along for The Path to My Soul on March 23 at 8pm CST (9:00 EST) I'll post details on my blog, but you'll need to follow her at ladytazz7 if you want to participate and she's asked me to dust off my twitter account at jaspercullen818 and make an appearance. Lol twificnews (dot) com/readalong/**

**Jasper**

As much as I loved Peter and Char, I was thrilled to see them go. I knew we'd reunite in a couple of months, but their presence was putting a small cramp in my style. I had other ideas for what I wanted to do with Bella, but we couldn't do them with two very aware and observant vampires in the house.

Bella and I had been getting closer all week, and the lust factor for both of us was off the charts. I was in a constant state of arousal and it was taking every ounce of my control to keep it at bay. Bella wasn't making it easy. Not that I was complaining, but she wanted to touch, kiss, lick and suck me all the time. The girl was a maniac when it came to exploring. I personally didn't mind being her guinea pig, but it was getting harder and harder to hold off. But, I didn't want Peter and Char in the house when Bella and I finally consummated our union. As eager as she was, it was still going to be her first time and I wanted to be able to take my time and ease her into it. I had a feeling it might take us days before she saw the sunlight. But, luckily, she'd need to sleep in between rounds, so I'd be able to hunt at some point.

I had just finished calming Bella down over my family's departure when she started talking about leaving.

_No way!_

I finally had her all to myself and I wasn't letting her go anywhere.

"So," she said. "I was thinking maybe I should go home for a few days and see Charlie?" I could sense how distressed that made her feel.

_She wasn't the only one!_

It wasn't that I didn't want her to go see her father. I'd take her myself, but not tonight, or tomorrow for that matter. Maybe not even the next day!

_Fuck, Jasper! Settle down. She's still human! You could break her, dehydrate her, fuck her to death…_

"You know, let him see how happy I am. It's been a week since I've been home and when I talk to him on the phone, he seems to understand, but why push him?"

"You can't leave," I whispered as I walked toward her. I was becoming more and more aroused with each step I took.

"I'm not leaving, just going home for a few days."

I shook my head. I was exerting my authority as her mate. It was time for me to show her just how much she meant to me. How much I needed her.

"I don't like that idea," I said. "I have other plans for tonight."

"Really?" She fidgeted before her own arousal kicked in. That always happened when I was close to her. She was already wet for me and her desire was dripping from every pore of her body. She knew exactly what I wanted to do.

I inhaled and smirked. My inner beast was about to be unleashed and not my vampire demon. This was all about a man wanting his woman in every way possible.

"Isabella, you've got about five seconds to get upstairs or I can't be held responsible for claiming you on this foyer floor."

_Don't hesitate!_

"Now!" I growled.

She looked at me with shock in her eyes and then quickly turned and ran up the steps. I gave her a head start, but still made it up the steps before she could reach the bedroom door. I grabbed her arm, spun her around and pushed her up against the wall, pinning her with my body.

"I've waited a really long time for you." I leaned in and slowly kissed her neck, moving my hands to her hips. "You're everything I've always wanted and more. You're the most beautiful, sexy woman I've ever encountered. The way you feel under my body drives me mad."

I slowly moved one hand up and under her shirt, moving it over her ribs and then I palmed her breast.

"Your skin is so soft and warm." I ran my thumb over her nipple and watched as she closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. "I love the way you taste, your scent lingers on my tongue for hours, but I know I could never get enough."

I trailed my lips up her neck, across her jaw and just to the corner of her mouth. I slipped my hand that was still on her waist down between her thighs and ran my fingers over her entrance.

"And, this," I said as I pressed my hand against her pussy. "It's all I think about. I've felt it with my fingers, tasted it with my tongue and I've lost count of how many times I've made you cum, but now, Isabella, I have to have you. All of you."

"Take me, Jasper," she whispered as she pressed against my hand. "I'm yours. All of me."

I pushed her into the bedroom and moved her onto the bed. I pulled my shirt up over my head and removed my shoes and socks before she even had time to blink. She was already bare footed when I crawled onto the bed and slowly unbuttoned her jeans and lowered the zipper.

She lay back on the bed and helped me wiggle her out of her pants. I could see her arousal seeping onto her tiny pink panties. I ran my tongue over them, along her entrance, causing her to shiver.

"Delicious," I whispered as I moved my lips to her bellybutton, pushing her shirt up and placing soft, open-mouthed kisses along her stomach. She sat up and pulled the shirt up over her head and tossed it aside.

I slipped my finger under the strap on her shoulder. "This too."

She smiled and then reached around to her back and unhooked her bra. I pulled it off and brought my lips to her nipple, sucking and licking, before making my way to her other one. I reached inside her panties and moved my finger along her slit before pushing inside her. I briefly debated on breaking her now, but I wasn't sure how she'd respond to that. I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible and I knew this first encounter wasn't going to be the best experience for her, but I'd try to make it right for her. I continued to push my fingers inside her, rubbing against her clit as I licked and kissed her breasts.

"Jasper," she moaned. "I want to, now."

She reached down between us and unbuckled my belt. She was getting really good at that and had my pants down around my hips before I even had time to respond. I never stopped fingering her as I pushed my pants and boxers off. She pulled her panties down and managed to kick them off, all without ever interrupting the steady rhythm she had created with her hips against my hand.

I moved my lips up against hers and mumbled against her mouth. "I want you to cum on my fingers."

"But, oh…" she moaned. "I want to cum when you're in me."

"That might not happen this first time," I reminded her.

"You could make me cum," she moaned. "You're good at that."

I smiled against her lips.

"Just let go for me now. Feel what I'm feeling for you." I looked into her eyes and surrounded her with all the love and desire I had for her as I quickly worked her with my fingers. Her muscles started to tighten and I could feel her climax taking over as she shook and screamed out my name. Before she even had time to register what was happening, I pulled my fingers out of her and slipped my more-than- ready cock inside her.

She opened her eyes and screamed out in surprise.

"Sorry, baby," I whispered as I pressed my mouth to hers and quickly moved my hips with one fast thrust. Her body was rigid and I could feel the pain emitting from every muscle. I gently kissed her lips and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No!" she groaned. "Just hold still for a second."

I closed my eyes and concentrated really hard on not moving, but the man in me wanted to pound fast and hard, and then I felt her panic. I opened my eyes and put everything I was feeling aside to focus on what she was experiencing. She was in pain but that wasn't bothering her so much anymore.

"Talk to me, baby, let me know what you want and I'll do it."

"I'm bleeding," she cried. "I can feel it."

I was so concentrated on making this right for her that I didn't realize she was bleeding. I knew she would, but I had no desire for her blood, so it didn't bother me.

"I thought you knew that would happen," I whispered as I wiped the tears from her eyes again.

She nodded. "But, I don't want you to be bothered by it."

"Bella." I smiled. "I'm fine. You're my life, I could never hurt you." I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, using my gift to calm her and absorb some of her physical pain.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too." I smiled. "But, babe, can I move now?"

She took a deep breath, bit her lip and nodded.

I started out slow, trying to help her adjust to my size. She was uncomfortable. I could see it in her face, and her whole body was tense. She kept her eyes tightly shut the whole time, and she was concentrating on her breathing. I wanted this to be better for her, but I didn't want to manipulate what she was feeling.

I took one of her legs and wrapped it around my hip, thrusting deeper and switching the angle as I slowly slid in and out of her. After a few seconds, I could feel her starting to relax. She gripped my shoulders and started to move with me.

"Jas…" she moaned. "Feels really good."

"For me too," I whispered. "You're so warm and tight. I've never felt anything like you before."

With each one of my downward thrusts, she met me with one of her own. She frantically ran her hands up and down my back, clawing at my marble skin. The more we connected, the easier it became for me. At first, I was afraid I'd be too rough or hurt her by accident, but as the minutes passed, the more natural it became. I tangled my fingers in her hair and pressed my lips to her mouth, pushing out all the love I had for her. I could feel my orgasm building from deep within me as my stomach started to tighten and a sensation shot straight through my balls.

"Bella," I moaned. "I'm gonna cum."

Since this was her first time, I knew she might not benefit from the experience the same way I would, but before I could ask if I could assist her with my gift, she wrapped her other leg securely around my waist and started screaming out my name.

"Fuck!" I released hard and fast, continuing to move my hips against her until we both settled down. I gently rolled off her and pulled her onto my chest. She was breathing heavy, but I could feel how happy and secure she was.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I'm yours," she whispered before drifting off.

She wasn't in a deep sleep, but she was exhausted. I slowly moved her off me and placed her sweaty head onto a pillow. Her hair was wet and tangled, her lips were swollen and her forearms and hips were already starting to form bruises, but I had never felt anyone more content than she was right in this moment. I leaned down and kissed her before quickly getting up and heading to the bathroom.

I started a bath for her, because I wanted to give her body some pampering. I was sure she'd be feeling pretty achy in a few hours. As soon as I walked back into to bedroom, I felt her anxiety. She shot up and looked around.

"I'm right here, darlin'." I sat down on the bed and took her hand. "I'm never leavin'."

She smiled.

"I thought maybe you'd like a warm bath?" I softly kissed her lips. "It'll help."

"Will you join me?" She smiled.

I scooped her up and ran her to the bathroom. She giggled over my speed.

"I'll never tire of hearing you laugh." I set her down and extended my hand to help her into the tub.

She gladly accepted and I felt her amusement.

"What?" I asked as she stepped in to the hot, bubbly water.

"I was wondering when the southern gentleman would return?" She lowered herself down into the water and then I stepped in and situated myself behind her, pulling her back against my chest.

"Southern gentleman?" I stroked her hair.

"Well." She rested her head against me and I loved having her close to me. "The last time you were here, you didn't talk to me much and when you did, you were always so proper and polite."

"Except when I took a snap at you." I reminded her.

"Yeah, not then. But, since you came back, you haven't been so proper with me."

"Hmm…" I knew she was right. I had spent so much time trying to push her away that I forgot exactly who I was. "You have my sincerest apologies, Ma'am. It's just that you confused me so much that I forgot how to act. It'll never happen again."

"Even if I drive you crazy?" She laughed.

"Yes, even if you drive me crazy. But, don't expect me to put up with your nonsense."

"I don't think you have a choice, Major Whitlock." She wiggled her backside up against my growing erection.

_Vixen!_

"Sorry," I whispered against her neck. "But, you callin' me Major, kinda does it for me." I slipped my hand around and gently ran my fingertips against the underside of her breast and then down her stomach, resting it on her hip.

She turned her head to the side and looked up at me. "And, when will the Major come out to play?"

I slowly licked over her lips and lightly nipped at her jaw. "When I think you can handle him," I whispered as I worked my fingers against her sensitive clit. She jumped at my touch because she wasn't expecting me to do it, but after a second, she closed her eyes and let me explore.

"That's it, baby." I slipped my fingers inside and gently moved in and out of her. "Just let me make you feel good." I let my other hand slide up her body and over her nipple, rolling it and pinching it between my fingers. I couldn't wait to get my lips on it. She let out a small moan of pleasure before reaching her hand behind her and then softly stroking my cock.

We kissed tenderly and lazily as we continued to slowly please one another. After a few minutes, she shifted her position and straddled me, causing the water to splash over the side. I twisted my fingers in her hair as she ground against me.

"Jas," she breathlessly whispered. "I want to do it again."

"No." I shook my head, but really I was internally screaming 'yes!'. "You're not ready for me yet." Her well-being had to come before my horny needs.

"Yes, I am." She reached down between us and took me in her hand. "I want to be close to you. I need you inside me."

"Bella!"

She rubbed my cock against her entrance. "Please," she whispered against my lips. "I won't take no for an answer."

_Of course she wouldn't._

"Bella," I warned. "You're gonna be so sore." I helped her lower herself onto me.

_Hey, I was still a guy and I wanted my girl._

"Ah," she moaned, but didn't move. "Well, I was hoping that cool, skilled tongue of yours would be of some assistance later."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'll lick you all night if that's what it takes."

"Yes, I think that's exactly what it's gonna take." She started to rock against me and quickly found her rhythm. It wasn't the most graceful looking act, with the water flowing over the edge of the tub and Bella's thighs hitting the sides of the porcelain, but fuck, it felt good.

I took her legs and wrapped them around my hips, pulling her body as close to mine as possible and then lowering my mouth to her hard nipple. As soon as I latched on and started sucking and biting it, she gripped my hair in her hands and held me against her body.

"Jasper, you feel so good inside me."

She thrust her hips so hard, I thought she was gonna break in two. She was full of energy and lust and I could feel how much she wanted me. It was the most amazing moment of my life. I watched as she closed her eyes and took pleasure in my body. The steam from the tub was rising up from behind her as she slowly licked her lips and let her instinct take over. I could feel the exact instant when she completely let go and gave in.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," I whispered.

She opened her eyes and briefly smiled before letting go and releasing. She dropped her head down and rested it against my shoulder. She didn't scream or squirm this time. She just let go and then held on to me as I slowly moved in and out of her. It didn't take me long and before I knew it my own orgasm was taking over my entire body. It was just as intense as the first one. Sex with Bella was different for me because I'd never been with a human before, so the physical aspect was much different than being with a vampire. She was soft, fragile and warm. But, the fact that she was my mate brought the experience to a whole new level. It was as if I didn't ever want to stop. I needed to be close and feel connected to her. And, the feelings she was emitting were pure and new. She loved me with everything she had. She trusted me and I knew I could never do anything to hurt her. She was the only thing that mattered to me now.

A few hours later, she was starting to wake as I rubbed her back. After our bath, I fed her and then when she drifted off, I went for a quick hunt. I wanted us both nourished because I had a feeling we were gonna need it.

"You left," she said as she opened her eyes.

"Just for an hour," I said. "How did you know?"

"I could just feel your absence."

"I know." I continued to massage her. "It's an awful feeling, but one we'll have to learn to deal with. I have to hunt and you'll have to do things without me sometimes, too."

"But, we'll always be together from now on, right?" she asked.

"Always."' I leaned down and kissed the area between her shoulders. "How are you feeling?"

She stretched and winced.

"That bad?" I asked, feeling like such a pig for hurting her. "I'm sorry. I tried to take it easy, but my strength is hard to control sometimes, especially in such a physical situation."

"I'm fine." She rolled over and pressed her palm to my cheek. "I loved every second of being with you and I'm looking forward to so much more. I know you can give me a good life and I want to do the same for you."

I gently kissed her and then pushed the hair from her face. "I'll give you anything you want, Bella. I'll never hurt you and I'll always protect you. You'll never be alone again. I promise."

"Neither will you." She kissed me back. "You've given me something I thought I'd never have."

"What's that?" I whispered against her lips.

"Last year at this time, I was so alone and lost and I didn't think I wanted to live."

"I hate hearing that." I shook my head. "I hate thinking about how broken you were and I couldn't help."

"You did help," she said. "As I started to heal, I got stronger and found my way back from the darkness that overtook me when Edward left, but a very important part of me had always been missing. I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I never felt…"

"Whole." I finished for her.

"How did you know that?" I asked.

"Because, I've felt that way my entire existence. It was as if I was always missing something." I traced her lips with my fingertips. "Like I'd lost something, but couldn't figure out what."

"That's what Alice meant?"

I nodded. "I didn't want to admit to myself that I wasn't complete, and maybe I didn't fully realize what was missing until you started pushing, but I need you."

"And, I'll always be here." She smiled. "We have so much to look forward to."

"I'm so excited about all of the places I can take you and the things I can show you. There's a whole world out there, Bella that you have no idea about. And, I can give you firsthand knowledge on so much of it."

"I want you to teach me, Jasper, and show me everything. As long as we're together, I'll follow you anywhere."

I pulled her face closer to mine and kissed her passionately.

"But, not tonight, beautiful," I whispered. "We're not leaving this bedroom."

"Hmm." Her lust spiked.

I reached for the buttons of her silk pajama shirt. "I think you requested the services of my tongue."

"Please." She moaned.

"I love you." I moved on top of her and trailed my lips down her neck.

"I love you, too." She whispered as she ran her fingers through my hair.

I had finally found my missing piece and we had an eternity to explore our happily ever after.

*****Up next will be a pretty extensive outtake for Fandom Gives Back Autism for this story. I probably won't be able to post that until May, but if you're interested in donating $5 to the cause, you'll have it sooner. thefandomgivesback(dot)blogspot(dot)com/search/label/Autism%20Awareness**

*****Thanks again for taking yet another J/B journey with me. I'm always worried I won't be able to hold your interest again, but you never cease to amaze me. Thanks for supporting my writing.**

*****I've marked this story as complete since this is where I had always intended to end it. I'll post the outtake once I'm able to and then if I decide to continue with part two, it'll just be continued here, so please put this story on alert. Thanks!**

*****And, if you're interested in reading my first E/J slash (YIKES!)… I'm posting that on 3/18. It was originally written for Fandom Against Domestic Violence. It's a one shot called "Why Not?" and is really more about an emotional connection between the two characters, so if you're not a BIG slash fan, but have been wanting to read one, this story might be a good one to start with…it's not too graphic. So, please add me to author alert.**


	17. Chapter 17 FGB Autism Outtake

**Path To My Soul Outtake – Written for Fandom Gives Back Autism**

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and TwiCarol for beta reading! You girls rock!**

*****All recognizable plot and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer/Twilight Franchise.**

**Jasper Whitlock**

I watched her from the trees; like some stalker in the shadows. I hated when she was in class and I couldn't be with her. Texas wasn't the best place for a vampire to take up residency. It worked for Peter and Char because they fed from humans and didn't mind the night life. I didn't used to mind it, but now that my mate was human and attended classes during the day, the sunlight was a real problem for me.

Bella and I took some night classes together, but there were two particular courses that weren't offered at night and if she wanted to complete her degree and stay on track to graduate next spring, she needed these courses. She'd been working so hard on her degree in History, I couldn't be more pleased she chose a subject so close to my heart, and was on course to obtain her Bachelor's Degree a year ahead of time. I didn't know what her rush was, but she insisted she get this done, so I supported her in any way I could. I'd give her anything she asked for, but right now, I was about ready to yank her from that campus and away from that idiot who constantly sought out her attention.

Just as I was about to step out of the woods, I felt an arm pull me back and hurl me deeper into the forest. I landed on my feet, sprung around and let out a low growl.

"Settle down, Major," Peter said as he walked toward me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I headed back in the direction of Bella.

"I could ask you the same thing," he snapped.

"I'm here because my mate is here. What's your excuse?"

"Well, my mate sent me here to make sure you didn't fuck up anything for your mate. And, it looks like I was just in time." He shook his head. "You can't just go strolling out into the center of a crowded campus in broad daylight or have you forgotten you're not human?"

"Look at that idiot!" I pointed toward Bella and her classmate. "He's constantly touching her and bothering her. I don't like it."

"Do you trust Bella?" he asked.

"Of course I do." I rolled my eyes because there was no doubt in my mind she'd ever betray me. I could feel how much she loved me and even if I couldn't, I'd just know it in my heart. "You know the pull I'm feeling. Would you like it if some random guy did that to Char?"

"No guy would ever get that close to Char unless he was dinner." He laughed.

Peter had to hold me back as we watched this boy pull Bella's backpack from her shoulder and hold it for her. I could feel how uncomfortable she was, but in true Bella fashion she was just being polite. I knew she felt sorry for him because he was hardly popular or a jock, but that wasn't her problem.

_It was about to become mine._

Peter and I listened to her conversation for a few minutes.

"Can I walk you to your car, Bella?"

"That's really not necessary, Josh." Bella said as she tried to take her backpack from him.

"I don't mind." He smiled as I fisted my hands to my sides.

_Mine!_

I could hear Peter laughing behind me.

"Wanna go get a cup of coffee?" Josh asked, and I could feel his hope and determination, not to mention the desire he was throwing off when he ogled my girl. "We can discuss next week's assignment."

"Umm, thanks, but really, I can't." Bella said, feeling bad that she was going to turn him down yet again. "I have to meet my boyfriend."

_Or, Josh could meet your boyfriend's fist._

"He doesn't like to be kept waiting," she said.

_He had no idea._

"But, he probably can't help you with the next paper topic; The Ethics of the Civil War," Josh argued.

_Are you fuckin' kidding me? I lived it!_

Bella giggled and I could feel Peter's amusement.

"Is he even interested in history?" he asked.

"You have no idea. He's sort of a history buff and I promised him I'd meet him right after class. "

_That's my good girl!_

"Well, okay, maybe some other time?" Josh asked, and I could feel the anticipation he was throwing off again.

"Probably not, as I've told you before," Bella said. "I like being partners with you in the discussion sessions, but I can't get any more involved than that. I have a boyfriend who I'm keeping waiting."

"Is it really serious?" he asked. "Umm, with your boyfriend?"

_Oh for fuck's sake!_

I headed in her direction, but Peter grabbed my arm.

"Let Bella handle it," he warned. "She's doin' a pretty good job."

"It's very serious." She smiled, and I automatically knew from her emotions she was thinking about me. I threw her some love vibes and then she looked around, trying to find me.

_That's right, my precious girl, I'm right here._

"So, can I have my backpack, please?" She extended her hand and practically snatched it from him. I could feel how eager she was to find me now. "Have a good night."

"But?" He stood in place as he watched Bella head off to her car.

See?" Peter said. "She knows who she belongs to. She's just too damn polite to shoot him down properly. She'll have to take some lessons in cold-heartedness from Char. She doesn't take any man's shit."

"Not even yours." I laughed.

"What-the-fuck-ever." He shook his head. "Go get your woman."

"Thanks for not letting me walk out into the sunlight," I said. "Bella would've killed me."

"Yeah, right after the Volturi got to you."

"She makes me crazy," I admitted.

"Maybe you better revisit making her one of us. The longer you keep her human, the harder it'll become for you to stay in control. As long as she's human, there'll be parts of her life you can't share and nerdy college boys are one of 'em."

"I know, but she's still not ready and I can't force her," I said. "I'll just have to keep myself in check until she is."

"Yeah, well, you're makin' my life a lot harder. You know how difficult it is to stay out of sight when we fuckin' sparkle? I not only have to track you down, but I can't be seen while doin' it."

I nodded because I realized how fortunate I was to have Peter to keep me in line. Having Bella as a mate didn't always allow me to be the most rational vampire around.

"There she goes." He looked in the direction of Bella. "She's almost to her car and you might get lucky." He looked up toward the sky and we both noticed a huge cloud getting ready to cover the sun.

"Gotta go!" I yelled as I followed the wooded path to the parking lot where Bella was headed.

I watched as she threw her things in the backseat and then I felt her disappointment when she realized I hadn't come for her yet. As soon as I made sure there was no one around her and that the cloud had effectively covered the sun, I stepped out and wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back into the woods with me. She briefly struggled and I could feel her momentary panic, but as soon as I pressed my lips to her neck she settled down.

"What took you so long?" she asked as I continued to kiss her neck.

"Peter wouldn't let me attack him." I whispered as I carried her deeper into the woods.

"Well, thank God for Peter." She laughed. "Josh is harmless."

"I don't like the way he touches you, looks at you, talks to you and lusts after you. It takes every bit of control I have not to kill him. He's more persistent than the others."

"That's because you haven't paid him a nightly visit yet." I put her down and turned her to face me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I smirked because I may or may not have paid some of Bella's other admirers a visit explaining that she was not available.

"Just leave him alone, Jasper," she begged. "He's just lonely and we both know what that's like." She pressed her lips to mine. "Please."

"I'll do it for you, but if he gets inappropriate, I can't be responsible for my actions."

"As my mate?" She giggled.

"As your mate, boyfriend, future husband, the Major." I smiled because I knew what the Major did to her.

"Let's not forget about him." She smiled as her lust spiked. "So, what are we doing out here deep in the woods?"

"Nobody can hear you scream out here." I slipped her jacket from her shoulders, letting it fall to the ground as I ran my tongue along her jaw.

"In a claiming mood, are you?" She twisted her fingers in my hair and guided me down her neck.

"Always, when it comes to you," I moved my hand down and cupped her sweet little pussy. "You belong to me, and everyone should know."

"Show me who I belong to," she whispered as she unbuttoned my shirt. "Make me feel only the way you can."

"That would be my pleasure." I let out a low, territorial growl as I reached for the button on her jeans. I had her pants and panties off before she could blink. I pulled my own shirt off and threw it down on the ground, quickly lowering her on top of it.

She slowly slid her hands up to her own shirt and removed it along with her bra. Since we'd moved to Texas there had been many afternoon and evening romps in the forest and Bella was really getting in touch with her natural side. She propped herself up on her elbows and smiled at me.

"You're stunning," I whispered as I lowered my lips to her stomach and licked a trail down to her hipbone. I smiled before kissing her new 'J loves B' tattoo she insisted she had to have. It was in an eloquent script with ivy and small roses around it. I had to admit it was a major turn on for me to see her branded that way, but there was only one mark I really wanted to see on her, and I wanted to be the one to do it.

I lowered my lips to her inner thigh and began sucking on her throbbing artery. I could hear the blood flowing throw her vein and while I had no desire to hurt her, I often wondered what it would be like to taste her that way.

A few weeks ago she'd cut her leg in the shower and the scent drove me wild. As soon as she exited the bathroom, I threw her onto the bed and licked over the tiny cut. She was barely bleeding and it was hardly enough to satisfy my need, but it left me wanting more. She was extremely aroused by my actions and we ended up having some of the best sex we'd ever had. It was raw and feral, and left me wanting her in ways I could never have imagined. I needed to turn her and soon.

"Jas?"

I was so caught up in the memory of tasting her I didn't realize I'd sucked a huge red mark over her vein.

"Can you do it without draining me?" she breathlessly asked.

"What?" I moved my fingers up and ran them along her slit. She was dripping and squirming under my touch.

"Bite me right there." She ran her fingers over where I'd just sucked on. "I want you to taste me. I know you want to."

"Bella?" I growled. "It's too dangerous."

I pushed my fingers inside her and started moving in and out of her moist folds.

"I trust you." She pushed my head closer to her thigh. "Please." She raised her hips off the ground and started rocking into my fingers. "Do it, Jasper. For me, for your mate. Show me I'm yours."

_Fuck! She didn't play fair._

I lowered my lips back down to her vein and grazed my teeth over it. I knew with more certainty than I'd ever felt in my entire existence I could do this. It was strange that she'd ask me for this, but she must have sensed my mating pull. I wanted this of her and she was willing to give it to me and I didn't even have to ask. It just solidified how connected we were.

I curled my fingers inside her and massaged her clit with my thumb as I sunk my teeth into her thigh. I shot her up with as much lust and need as I could as I allowed her sweet liquid to flow into my mouth. As I worked her with my fingers, she screamed and moaned, but I felt no pain coming from her. She was delectable, and the more I drank, the more I wanted, but not because I needed her to quench my thirst, it was about having a part of her that I thought I never could. I closed my eyes and indulged for just a few seconds more, before slowly moving away and sealing the wound with my venom. I moved my lips up her thigh and replaced my fingers with my tongue, tasting even more of her juices.

"Ahh, Jasper, I'm gonna…you know!" She tugged relentlessly at my hair as she came hard against my mouth.

I reached down and pulled my pants off before picking up her spent body and carrying her to the nearby stream. I waded out until we were waist deep and then shifted her position.

"Wrap your legs around me," I demanded. "I need to be inside you."

She did as I asked and then I quickly thrust inside her, stilling my movements long enough to passionately kiss her.

"Say it, Isabella." I growled.

"I'm yours and only yours." She took my face between her hands. "My body belongs to you to do with what you please."

_Fuck!_

"My heart is yours, too." She kissed my lips.

"And, your soul," I whispered. "That's always been mine."

"Always." She affirmed.

"And, I'm just as much yours as you are mine." I reminded her.

We took our time in the stream, making love, feeling what we were to one another and just being close. When we were finished, I rinsed her off and then carried her back to the water's edge and slowly kissed her.

She smiled at me and I could feel how satisfied she was. I pushed the hair from her face and placed soft kisses along her jaw, trying to be gentle and tender. I always wanted her to know how much I wanted and respected her.

"It was perfect," I spoke against her neck.

"I don't want to go home yet," she whispered. "I want to stay out here with you for a little longer; just the two of us."

I lifted her up out of the stream and moved us over to a large cluster of boulders that were directly in the sunlight. I reached down and grabbed my shirt, wrapping her in it before sitting against the rocks and pulling her into my lap. She shivered against my skin, but cuddled into my chest anyway.

I ran my fingers over the fresh spot where I'd just bitten her.

"It doesn't hurt," she assured me.

"I sealed it with a small amount of venom," I told her. "Because we're intimate quite often, your body is building up immunity to my venom, so I knew it would be safe."

"But?" I felt her panic and I knew what she was going to ask next.

"I'll still be able to turn you." I hugged her close to me. "The amount of venom it'll take for me to change you will be large and your body won't be able to fight it off."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

I nodded. "When we first started making love it occurred to me that you were taking in my venom, so I asked Carlisle to help me research it."

"Oh?" I felt her embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "He's very discreet. He is a doctor, after all."

She took my hand and moved it closer to her center. I slipped my fingers inside her warm body because sometimes after sex she needed my cold fingers to sooth her. We'd become so comfortable with one another that touching her like this just became natural.

"Bella?" I moved my fingers against her clit and she let out a small moan.

"Hmm…" Her eyes rolled in the back of her head.

"Focus, darlin'." I smiled.

"Sorry, but you make me feel really good."

"I know, but I have to ask you a question," I said.

"Okay, just don't stop."

I smiled as I kissed her hair. "Why did you ask me to bite you?"

"Promise you won't be mad?" she asked as she turned slightly so she could look at me.

"Promise."

_How could I ever be mad at her?_

"I asked Char if she thought you'd lose control when you turned me." I felt her shame over her statement.

"Do you think I'd lose control?" I asked, feeling kind of hurt and disappointed.

She shook her head. "We were talking about vampires and blood and she told me how easy it was becoming for her and Peter to have me around. And, how proud they were of you for overcoming your demons and sticking with the animal diet because it was something you really wanted."

I slowly slipped my fingers out of her and rested them over her newly developed bite mark. The conversation had suddenly turned too deep for me to be fingering her. I felt her dissatisfaction.

"Please continue," I said. "I'd like to hear what else you talked about."

"You said you wouldn't be mad," she reminded me.

"I'm not, but I want to know your thoughts."

"I asked Char if, when you bit me, she thought you'd be able to stop and turn me, or would your thirst take over? You haven't really tasted human blood in almost a year."

"You're not just any human. I could never hurt you. If I destroyed you, it'd be the end of me."

"That's what Char said, too. " She looked down and began playing with her hands. "She told me what it was like when you start to feed, how instinct takes over and it's hard for you to stop. She said because I was your mate, you wouldn't be able to hurt me because your instinct is not to hurt me, but Peter offered to be in the room with you."

I nodded, but I hadn't made up my mind whether I needed him there or not until today. After tasting her, I now knew I could do it.

"Char had the utmost faith in you and told me I should let you taste me to prove that you could do it," she said. "I trusted you and I wasn't going to ask you, but when you were lingering by my artery, it all seemed really erotic and I got caught up in the sensation of you, so I kind of just blurted it out and you did it, and it was really hot."

I smirked because it was really sexy.

"You liked it?" I whispered as I traced her nipple with my fingertip.

"You couldn't tell?"

"Well, I wasn't just biting you." I slipped my other hand back down between her legs.

"No, you weren't," she sighed.

"So, did your little experiment put your mind at ease?" I asked as I put my fingers back inside her.

"Umm, yes…" she moaned. "I trust you completely."

"Good," I whispered against her heated flesh. "But, next time, come and talk to me."

"Okay." She turned and straddled my lap, sliding her hand down my chest and then she gently stroked my cock.

"Isabella," I mumbled against her lips. "It's getting cold out here and you're already wet and naked. Maybe we should head back?"

She lifted her hips and brushed her bare pussy against me. "One more time," she begged. "I need you." She was practically dripping all over my thigh as she ground against me. "Please, Jas?"

"You don't need to beg, baby. I'm all yours." I leaned back onto the boulder and let her take over. I closed my eyes as she impaled herself onto me.

"God…Jas…it feels so good." She rocked into me with such force. She liked being on top. I could feel the sense of power and control it gave her and she was beautiful to watch.

"That's it, baby, ride my cock. Let me feel how much you love it."

She leaned down and fiercely kissed my lips, pushing out all the love and desire she had for me. I gripped her hips and moved her up and down, helping to bring her to certain release. She closed her eyes and threw her head back. I could feel her climax building slowing from deep within her and then within seconds we were both erupting all over each other.

She collapsed on top of me, wrapping her arms around my neck and twisting her tiny fingers in the ends of my hair. I had toyed with the idea of cutting it, but Bella would have none of it. She said it was one of the first things she noticed about me when I returned to Forks. She liked that I had grown it out and she wanted me to keep it that way.

_Who was I to argue?_

It was getting dark and the temperature had dropped significantly since we'd come out here. I wanted to get her to her truck and turn the heat up.

"Bella?" She was deep in thought and I could feel she'd come to some sort of decision. "What is it?"

"I want you to turn me," she said. "I'm sure."

I took her hand in mine. "I can feel your certainty." It was as if it had suddenly come to her and now she was full of determination.

She nodded.

"When?" I asked.

"Whenever you're ready." She smiled. "I want to be yours completely."

"I've waited a really long time for you to ask me this," I said. "I'm willing to wait, but if you're sure." I smiled. "I can't wait to change you."

"Me too."

"You don't want to finish school?" I asked.

"I can do that as a vampire, right?"

"You can. I've done it several times."

"And, I'll probably be smarter."

I laughed.

"I want to go see my parents one last time." I felt her sadness.

"Of course." I squeezed her hand. "We can stay as long as you want."

"Just a few weeks for each and then we can do it," she said. "I'll miss them and I know it'll be really hard on Charlie because of everything we went through, but I need to see him."

"I know," I said. "I figured we can tell him we're going abroad to visit Carlisle and Esme. They can help communicate with him in the beginning. And, then I can pretend to be you in e-mails until you're up to corresponding and then we'll have to figure out how to deal with your disappearance."

"Okay." I could sense she didn't want to talk about her father anymore. I pulled her toward me and smiled as I kissed her head. "I'll get you through this."

It meant everything to me that she'd be willing to give up this life for me. I'd be willing to wait as long as she wanted, but this was the first time she'd actually said she was ready and I didn't feel any uncertainty or doubt coming from her.

"I'm counting on it." She pressed her palm to my cheek. "I just want you to know how much I want to be with you. Forever."

"Always, baby." I gently kissed her lips. "I'll give you the best life."

"You already do." She shivered against my already frigid skin.

"Come on," I said. "We need to get you back home."

"I'm already home." She rested her head against my shoulder. "I'll always be home with you."

I stroked her hair and kissed her head. "We have so much to look forward to. I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy. You have nothing to worry about."

"I never worry when I'm with you," she whispered. "I love you."

"And, I love you."

*****Did you miss them?**

*****I've decided to continue on with Part II of this, but you need to be patient with me. RL has been absurd! Good news is, the first five chapters are complete and with beta, I just need to find the time to write the rest because I don't like to leave you in the middle of a story.**

*****It'll continue on right under this fic, so if you have it on story alert, you'll get it when I post it.**

*****Thanks again for all the support you constantly show me on my fics…it's why I continue to do it.**


	18. Part II Chp 1

**Part Two**

*****This is just a short chapter to give you a taste as to where we're headed. Thanks for all the comments on the outtake.**

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and for TwiCarol for beta reading. Oh, and you totally have them to thank for getting me to write this!**

*****I still don't own a thing!**

**On with the show…**

Jasper

It was like burning from the inside all over again. I could feel it all, and it was horrible. Every muscle ached, every vein scorched, her joints stiffened and her throat was raw from yelling. She was in pain, she was dying and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I set this in motion, at her request, but it didn't make me feel any better about it.

_How could I have been so selfish?_

She screamed for twelve hours straight. Nothing I did would sooth her, but I continued to hold her as tightly as I could. I whispered how much I loved and needed her. I apologized over and over again for doing this to her. I tried to take away my mate's agony, but she thrashed, kicked and cried out. She wouldn't open her eyes. We still had two more days to go.

_Could she survive this?_

I heard Peter's footsteps as he slowly approached our room. I could feel his internal battle over entering.

"Go away!" I yelled.

"No!" He cautiously moved to the center of the room. A few hours ago, I lunged at him and sent him flying back out into the hall. I didn't want anyone near Bella.

I growled, causing Bella's battered body to tense.

"Jasper." Peter held his hands up to reassure me he wasn't a threat. "You need a break."

"No, I won't leave her."

"Just for a few minutes," he pleaded. "This is draining you."

"No, it isn't," I lied. My head was about ready to explode. I couldn't take absorbing all that Bella was experiencing, but what choice did I have?

"Bullshit! I'm not an empath and it's fuckin' killin' me to listen to our little Bella scream like this. I can only imagine what it's doin' to you."

As if on cue, Bella opened her mouth and let out another blood curdling scream. She was sweating and shaking uncontrollably. I tried to push the hair from her face but she swatted me away. She barely allowed me to touch her.

"Jasper!" Peter yelled. "Let me stay with her while you go clear your head. I think she's trying to tell you to go."

"Peter, I know you're trying to help, but would you leave Char if she needed you?" I asked. "And, don't waste your time lyin' to me. I'll feel it."

"You can't keep feelin' this for the next forty-eight hours. It'll destroy you."

"I've watched hundreds of humans go through the transformation, and it's never affected me this way before. It's like_ I'm _experiencing it all again." Bella turned in my arms and pushed at my chest. "Shh." I pressed my lips to her boiling forehead.

"You've never turned your mate before," Peter reminded me. "You feel everything she feels and not because of your gift."

"Then you know why I can't leave her," I said. "I promised I would stay right here."

"She'd understand," Peter said. "She wouldn't want you to suffer."

"I'm not the one suffering." I looked down at her and tried to push as much tranquility as I could find in her direction. "Maybe you and Char should leave for a couple of days, if it's too much for you."

"We're not goin' anywhere, Jasper Whitlock!" Char screamed from the kitchen. "And, don't you dare ask us to leave again."

"The boss has spoken." Peter smiled. "Look, I'll come check on you in a few hours. Consider going for a hunt by then."

"I'll eat when Bella eats," I said.

"Fine." He shook his head. "I just hope your little friend there isn't as half as stubborn as you are when she wakes up."

I laughed and looked down at my beautiful girl. "We both know how stubborn she's gonna be."

"Like a fuckin' mule! God help us all." Peter ran his fingers through his hair, and I felt his amusement over what I'd be dealing with in a few days, as he left the room.

"Bella," I whispered. "You can do this and then you'll be mine for eternity. I'll spend the rest of my existence making this up to you."

She gathered my shirt between her fingers and held onto me as tightly as she could. After a few minutes, she stopped screaming and finally settled down. She snuggled into my chest and relaxed.

I stroked her hair. "I'm here, baby, and I won't leave you. It'll be over soon." I ran my finger over the vein on her neck. The puncture wounds had just about sealed, but she'd carry that mark, my mark, with her for all of eternity.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered against her hair. "I'll never leave you." I gently rocked her in my arms and for the next two days neither of us moved. She never even let go of my shirt.

Peter and Char continued to check on us and each time they tried, unsuccessfully, to get me to leave. They knew I never would, but it didn't stop them from trying. I could feel how much they were agonizing over Bella's pain. But, we'd all been through it and we knew once it was over, it'd be okay.

Finally, after what seemed like a century, Bella opened her crimson eyes and stared up at me. She was absolutely stunning. Her new form suited her. It was as if I was looking at the only woman I'd ever seen. She was made for me, and only me.

I felt her confusion and fear as she slowly cocked her head to the side. I didn't want to make any sudden movements, so I kept her cradled in my arms and let her adjust to her surroundings. I knew how frustrating this would all be for her, but if I could get her through this newborn stage, we'd be just fine.

I quickly monitored her emotions and for a few minutes, all I picked up was fear and disorientation. I didn't want to speak because the sound of my voice could frighten her sensitive ears.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She immediately wrapped her hand around her throat. I felt the burn. It mirrored my own thirst. She shifted in my lap so she was straddling me. I stayed completely still as she stared into my eyes. Her lips were full and pouty, the bone structure in her face would put any model to shame and her eyes, although red, were big and perfectly shaped. As she studied me, I began to memorize her new face. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Not that my Bella wasn't beautiful before, but my venom made enhancements that only added to her magnificence.

She slowly leaned forward, but I wasn't sure what she wanted, so I let her lead. She didn't feel threatened or afraid now, she was curious, but I could feel the familiarity she was experiencing. She ran her nose along my jaw and down my neck. She was taking in my scent. I closed my eyes and relished in her closeness. She worked her way back up to my face and then ran her fingertips over my cheeks and lips. I gently kissed her fingers out of habit.

"Jasper." Her voice was melodic and soft, and I could tell she was surprised by the sound of it.

I closed my eyes and let out the breath I was holding.

_She remembered me._

"Hello, beautiful," I whispered. "I missed you." I stroked her hair and engulfed her in my love.

She pressed her lips to mine and softly kissed me, well, as soft as a newborn could kiss.

_We'd have to work on that._

"I'm yours," she whispered.

"And, I'm yours." I smiled.

She giggled as she placed quick kisses along my face. I could feel how happy and content she was. She remembered who I was and what we were to one another. She wasn't mad at me for what I'd turned her into. We were mated in the truest sense now. In that moment, we were happier than we'd ever been.

Sadly, that was all about to change…

*****You didn't think I'd make this easy, did you? You should know by now, I take the long way to the HEA, but we ALWAYS get there.**


	19. Part II Chp 2

*****Thanks for all of your comments over the last chapter. I tried to respond to as many as I could, but FF was fail and wouldn't let me respond from my e-mail. It was very frustrating!**

*****I'm trying to keep this to a weekly schedule unless my RL calms down. I hate to keep you waiting!**

*****I don't own anything.**

**Bella**

I could hear everything! The cars racing down the highway four miles away, two deer drinking by the stream out in the forest behind the house, Peter and Char's incessant sex life, and the mailman. He came precisely at noon every day. I could smell him before I heard the truck pull up, but it was the flow of blood that ran through his veins that always piqued my interest.

I ran downstairs and waited in the foyer. I closed my eyes and tried to tune everything else out. My breathing picked up, my fingers twitched, but it was the intense burn in my throat that was always front and center for me when he got closer to the house.

John, as Jasper had insisted I refer to him as because he said it would be easier if I associated humans with names, was approaching the front porch. I tried to stay still, but that strange growl started to form in the pit of my stomach and traveled to my chest. I pulled my lips over my teeth and shook when he climbed the steps to the house. If I were still human, I'd be sweating.

He smelled really good. I licked my lips and reached for the doorknob, but before I could even turn it, I felt a quick burst of wind and then I was being carried up the steps and to our room.

Jasper dropped me on the bed. "Sorry," he said. "I was in the yard and didn't realize it was already noon."

"I was just gonna say hello to him." It wasn't a total lie. John was the only other person I came in contact with besides my mate and two best friends.

"Bella?"

"What?" I asked, innocently.

"John has seen you as a human," he reminded me. "He'll definitely realize something is very different about you."

"He smells good," I said. "Will that ever stop?"

"No." He frowned and shook his head. "They always smell good."

"I growl when he gets close and run down the steps, like a dog." I buried my face in the pillows. "I'm like the family pet waiting for the mailman."

I heard Peter laugh from the foyer. "Bella, mail's here!"

"Shut it, Peter," Jasper yelled. "Don't you and Char have someplace to be?"

"We're leaving now. Make sure you take Fido for her walk." He chuckled.

"Peter!" I growled. "I'm still stronger than you."

"For now, newbie, but that'll change soon," he yelled up the steps.

"Ignore him, beautiful." Jasper sat on the bed and rubbed my back. "You are hardly a dog."

"You know what I mean," I said. "It's like I have to stand in that foyer when he gets here. It's a routine."

"Bella, it's only been a few weeks," Jasper said. "John is the only human you come in contact with. He is your natural food source, so your instinct takes over."

"But, you have to stop me from opening that door every time," I said. "What if you're not here? Will I hurt him?"

"I'll always be here," he promised. "I won't let you do anything you don't want to."

_What if I want to?_

"Bella? What are you thinking?"

I couldn't tell him what I was thinking. He'd be disappointed if he knew and I never wanted to disappoint him. He was such an amazing man and I loved him more than anything. I gave up my human life for him. I asked him to make me just like him, so why couldn't I be like him?

He continued to rub my back. "Bella, I know you're struggling. I can feel it. Everything is all so new for you. You're overwhelmed, but in time, you'll learn how to deal with all of these new feelings and thoughts. No one expects you to be perfect, least of all me."

"But, I'm confused most of the time. I have a hard time dealing with my strength, hearing and vision. And, my thoughts, they're all over the place all the time. I can't even read a book because I don't know how to block everything else out." I crawled into his lap. "I'm not a very good vampire, am I?"

"You're a spectacular vampire." He kissed the tip of my nose. "None of us woke up and knew how to do this."

"I want to be perfect for you," I told him. "You're so good to me and I don't want to fail you."

"Hey." He tilted my chin up and his golden eyes took my breath away. "You could never fail me."

"I didn't realize vampires could be hormonal." I tried to laugh off my inadequate feelings.

"Have you met Rosalie? Or Edward, for that matter? And, they've been at this forever." He stroked my cheek. "I'm here for you and I'll help you any way I can."

"How do you always do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Make me feel better?" I snuggled into his chest.

"It's a gift, I guess." He wrapped his arms around me and surrounded me with his love and assurance.

"When you hold me like this, it reminds me of when I was going through the transformation," I told him.

"Really? I didn't think you remembered much about that. We never really talked about it."

"It's not a fond memory. It hurt like hell."

He cringed. "Sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, well, technically it was, but I forgive you." I smiled. "I know you were there for me the whole time. That's what got me through. I could feel you with me, holding me, using your ability, telling me you loved me. I wanted to tell you I could hear you, but every time I opened my mouth all I could do was scream."

"I promised I wouldn't leave," he said. "And, I'm glad you knew I was with you."

"Thank you. I think I forgot to say that." I kissed his cheek.

"It was my pleasure." He ran his thumb just underneath my eye. "You're thirsty. Let's hunt."

"No." I shook my head as I started to unbutton his shirt. I had it off his body before he could respond to me. At least I'd mastered vampire speed.

"No? But, you haven't fed in two days. Why don't we take care of basic needs first and then we'll play later?" He smiled.

I shook my head as I slipped off his lap and slowly stripped for him. "Playing is a basic need for me, Jasper. Don't you like vampire sex?" I stood completely naked in front of him. The scent of my arousal filled the air between us as his eyes narrowed. "I know you want me because you're projecting."

He stood up, pulled off his jeans and pinned me to the wall on the opposite side of the room in a matter of seconds. I could feel his erection pressing against my entrance. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up and hooked my legs around his waist.

He kissed me with a force that was only unleashed when I became immortal. I may have been confused and overwhelmed most of the time, but the only thing that ever felt right was being consumed by my mate. I felt a constant need to be close to him, to have him fill me only the way he could. I needed his hands on my body, his tongue in my mouth and the feeling of his skin on mine. I wanted to be surrounded in his scent. The only time I stayed focused was when we were physical. I could block everything but Jasper out and just indulge in my mate.

"Make it all stop, Jasper," I whispered. "The thoughts, the sounds, the hunger. Make it all go away."

The force of my body hitting the wall as he entered me caused the windows to rattle. He started out fast and hard because he knew it was what I craved. It was the only way to calm me when I felt crazy. We figured this out the first night I woke up. I was frantic, but as soon as Jasper touched me, claimed me, I settled down. The need for one another was raw and unforgiving. The more he gave, the more I took, and when it was over I was tranquil and unafraid.

He pounded into me at an unyielding pace. My head slammed into the wall with each punishing thrust, but it didn't hurt. Actually, it was quite the opposite. The harder he pushed, the more pleasure I felt. I twisted my fingers in his hair as he drove me closer and closer to the brink.

"You were made for me and only me, beautiful." He rested one hand against the wall by my face as he moved the other one between us to palm my breast. "God, you're so fuckin' tight. I'm gonna fuck you all night."

"Promise?" I moaned. "Harder! Please, I'm almost there."

He moved his hands down to cup my ass, getting as deep as he could as he swiveled his hips against mine. He moved at vampire speed, throwing my body into a frenzy. I shuddered and tightened around him as I screamed out my release. He attacked my mouth with his as he nipped and sucked on my lips. He kept up his hurried pace until I came down from my climax and then he slowed down, making sure to look into my eyes as he carried me over to the bed, never breaking our connection. He plopped me down on my back as he stood between my legs and slowly pulled all the way out of me before slipping back in. I kept my legs securely wrapped around his hips as he took pleasure in my warmth. It didn't matter that we were both ice cold because when we came together this way, our bodies seemed to be on fire. It was a heat that we created together and it always felt so good.

"Bella," he moaned. "So good, so warm."

"Jasper, cum inside me." I needed his venom to course through my body. It made me feel alive and strong. He moved in and out of me at a torturously slow pace, but it didn't matter. He was creating a connection between us; one that I so desperately needed.

"I'm gonna cum, now…" He moaned and then dropped down on top of me as he yanked at my hair. I clawed at his shoulders and dug my heels into his backside. He latched onto my lips and kissed me forcefully as he emptied into me. I could feel each time he pulsed inside me. I licked my lips because next time he came, I wanted it down my throat.

I played with the hair at the nape of his neck as he moved his mouth down to suck on my nipple.

"You're insatiable, you know that?" He obviously felt how much I wanted him again.

"Look who's talking." I laughed. "You haven't even pulled out of me and you're rock hard again."

"Can't help it." He licked my nipple. "I love your pussy."

"Show me." I pushed against him. "Make love to me."

"That's extremely easy to do," he whispered against my breast. "Because I love you so much." He started moving in and out of me again, but this time it was slower and tender. "You make me so proud. Don't ever doubt how perfect you are to me."

"Shh." I shook my head because I didn't want to hear those words now. I wasn't ready to hear them. I needed to prove to myself that I was the woman he needed. "Just love me."

"Always," he whispered as he leisurely worked my body.

A few hours later, I agreed to go hunting with him. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was a necessity I couldn't deny. I smiled and laughed as we ran through the woods because I was happy with Jasper and I needed him to feel that. I wanted to share this time with him. I kept telling myself I'd get used to this, but the more animals I fed from, the less I wanted.

I desired something different, something better. I knew exactly what I wanted. It was the very reason I stood in that foyer everyday at noon.

*****Well, the animal diet isn't for every vampire! **


	20. Part II Chp 3

*****Look! I'm a whole day early! Hopefully that makes up for my piss poor review responses. It's not entirely my fault … FF is still fail and won't let be respond from my e-mail and when I do it from FF it tells me many of you have disabled your PM's. (I don't think that's true). In any case … keep the love coming and I'll keep writing. M'kay?**

*****Thank you TwiCarol and Lady Tazz. You know why!**

*****Thanks to all of you who expressed interest in reading my original fics. You guys are fantastic!**

_Jasper_

I made my way down the steps and into the family room after a marathon sex shower with my incredibly sexy and insatiable girl. We'd hiked and hunted, well, in between groping, sucking and licking all afternoon, but I managed to get her fed. That was a daily struggle. She was always so distracted and distant when it came to feeding. I knew she craved human blood. It was natural, but before I turned her, she begged me to never allow her to slip up. I would do everything I could to keep that promise.

I tried to talk to her about it, but she blamed it on being a newborn. She said she had a hard time focusing, and yes, while I knew that to be true, I also knew when a vampire was thirsty, we fed. No distraction in the world could keep us from extinguishing that thirst.

Bella flew down the steps at vampire speed. I smiled when I felt how happy and free she was. She loved moving at such a fast pace, and often gave me a run for my money. She stopped an inch from where I was sitting on the sofa and placed her hands on my knees, leaning toward me so I could get a view of those spectacular boobs.

She was wearing a tight, short jean skirt that barely covered her ass and a brown tank that covered less of her tits than that skirt did of her ass. And, let us not forget about the brown leather cowboy boots. I'd bought her those last week and I had to admit, I rather enjoyed when she left them on in the bedroom.

I slipped my hand under her skirt and squeezed her bare cheeks. Ever since becoming a vampire, she seemed to have an aversion to underwear. And, I didn't complain.

"This is why I can't let you out in public," I told her. "I'd kill anyone who looked at you."

"I only dress this way for you," she whispered in a desirable tone. She moved her hands up to my thighs and shot me a suggestive look.

I placed mine on top of hers and smiled. "Didn't get enough of me in the shower?"

"I can never get enough of you."

I pulled her into my lap and pressed her against my chest, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her tight. I pushed out all the warm and fuzzy thoughts I was thinking about her.

"I love you, too." She smiled. "And, I had a really nice afternoon. I love when we spend all of that alone time together out in the forest."

"Me too," I said. "It's very calming out there."

"You're very calming to me." She traced her fingertips across my lips.

I gently kissed her fingers and then leaned forward to kiss her lips. We started out slow and soft, but somehow need always took over. But, I had to break the kiss because I could hear Peter and Char in the not so distant woods. They'd be home soon.

Bella pouted when I pulled away, and I felt her disappointment.

"Later," I promised. "I thought we could go sit out by the dock tonight and make love under the stars."

"Now?"

"Soon." I laughed.

"Fine," she huffed. "Why do we have to wait?"

"I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"It's gonna rain all day tomorrow."

"Umm, okay. Why do I need to know that?" I felt her confusion.

"Well, you really don't, but I have to run an errand and I'll be gone for a couple of hours. The rain will enable me to be out and about."

"Can I come, too?" I felt her excitement and I hated to have to be the one to burst her little Bella bubble. _She was so freakin' cute._

"Not this time, beautiful." I stroked her hair. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Bella," I sighed. "It's only been a few weeks. You're just not ready to be in a town full of humans. The way you react toward John should prove that."

I could feel her shame and guilt.

"Hey." I tilted her chin up. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. You've done nothing wrong."

"I can't even go out in public with you." Her eyes filled with venom. "You can't even take me with you." She tried to blink back the tears that weren't going to fall.

"It's not always going to be this way. We have forever and you'll always be by my side."

"I don't like when you leave me," she admitted. "It hurts." She placed her hand over her silent heart. "Right here. It never felt that way when I was human. I mean, I always missed your presence when you went hunting or I was at school, but now, it's so…"

"Intense?" I cut her off. "Like you'll evaporate into nothing. Time seems to stand still until we reunite?"

She nodded.

"I know all about it." I brushed my lips against hers. "It's the worst feeling you'll ever experience, but it'll get easier as time goes by. We'll always miss one another while we're apart, but knowing that it's never for long will help. I won't be gone long tomorrow, I promise."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"It's a secret." I laughed.

"I hate secrets!" She yelled. "Tell me!"

"It's more of a surprise." I smiled. "Is that better than a secret?"

"A surprise for me?" Her interest was piqued.

"Who else?" I arched a brow.

"And, you'll only be gone a few hours?" She confirmed.

"I promise. Char will be here with you."

"Does she know where you're going?" She was fishing for information she wasn't going to get.

"Perhaps."

"You're not gonna tell me anything, are you?" She frowned. She fought hard to focus on our conversation, but she couldn't block out Peter and Char walking up the front steps. "I don't want you to go, oh, they're home and they've hunted."

She leapt out of my lap and headed for the foyer. By the time I caught up with her, she'd already greeted Char with a hug and quick kiss, which wasn't unusual. They were always affectionate with one another and it made me happy knowing that Bella had bonded with Char in such a sisterly way. She needed that connection, especially after being so alone for so long. And, now that she couldn't have contact with her parents anymore, I wanted her to have a sense of family.

What Bella did next was more than disturbing, but not for the reasons one may think. It all happened so quickly and a human would have missed the whole exchange, but unfortunately, none of us were human.

She wrapped her arms around Peter and gave him a welcoming hug which he reciprocated because that was just what we did around here, but Bella took it a step further. She pressed her mouth to his; quickly kissing him, but when Peter pulled away, Bella closed her eyes and ran her tongue along his lips. I felt her desire, but it wasn't for Peter.

"Okay, sugar," Peter awkwardly said as he released her and pushed her in my direction. He looked up at me and shrugged apologetically.

"I, I'm sorry," she said and I felt her embarrassment. "I don't know why?"

I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself. I knew she had no desire for my brother, but the mate in me wasn't as rational as I would have liked him to be. I gripped her arm and pulled her to me, reminding her who she belonged to.

"Jasper." She looked down at her feet, but she didn't try to struggle out of my firm hold. "I didn't, I mean I don't want… Char, I'm sorry." She was mortified and confused.

"Bella," Peter stepped forward, but I pushed her behind me, trying to protect her from him. "Jasper," Peter warned. "Let her go."

I took a calming breath before releasing Bella. "I'm sorry." I wasn't sure who I was apologizing to.

"Bella," Peter continued. "I'm sure I taste pretty good to you right about now. Your instinct kicked in, so you have nothing to apologize for."

She nodded, but still wouldn't look at any of us.

Char stepped forward and took her hand. "It's okay, sweetie," she whispered. "Peter and I will shower, you won't even know we've hunted. I know how hard it must be for you when we come from feeding."

"I'll meet you upstairs," Peter told Char. She smiled at me and headed for the bathroom.

"Go ahead, Peter," I said. "We're fine."

"Bella," Peter said, ignoring me. "Why don't you tell Jasper what's on your mind?"

"No," she said, and I felt her panic. "I'm fine. It was just that I could smell the blood and when we hugged it was a little overwhelming. I don't know what came over me, but I am sorry."

"No vampire, other than Carlisle, has been perfect," Peter said. "None of _us_ expects you to be." Peter stared at me for a few seconds before heading up to join Char. The meaning of his words weren't lost on me.

"Jasper?" She moved toward me.

I shook my head, signaling for her to stop.

"Not here." I took her hand and headed outside. Her terror spiked when I pulled her into the woods and down by the dock. I tried, unsuccessfully, to clear my mind of the image of Bella's tongue running across Peter's lips.

Despite her overwhelming fear of me, she stepped forward and took my hand in hers. She was shaking, but she managed to speak.

"I don't have those kinds of feelings for Peter," she assured me. "It wasn't about that."

"I know that," I whispered as I squeezed her hand, trying to ease her guilt. "Even if I wasn't an empath, I'd be able to feel that."

I felt her relief.

"But, we still seem to have a problem," I informed her.

"No!" Denial was rolling off her in buckets. "I had a moment of weakness. It happens, right? You still struggle, don't you?"

"My thirst for human blood is always front and center, but I've found a way to work around it. This is all still so new to you, but you need to remember that I'm here for you and you can tell me anything."

"I know!" I felt her frustration. "But, I can't stay focused enough to tell you what I'm thinking."

"You have to try." I pulled her down on the dock and wrapped my arms around her. "It helps when we're close, right? You seem to concentrate when we're intimate."

"But, then that always takes over. I forget what else we're talking about and all I want is you." She rested her head against my chest. "You're very sexy."

"Try, Bella, please…" I shifted our positions, so that she was sitting in between my legs, with her back resting against my chest. I gently stroked her hair and surrounded us with some calming vibes. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"How much I love you," she said.

"Hmm." I kissed the back of her neck. "What else?"

"That I never want to…" she lost focus. "I can hear the fish swimming in the lake."

"Bella?"

"Sorry, but I can. There are four of them just below us, under the dock."

"There are five," I corrected. "But, let's forget about the fish."

I slipped my hand up her skirt and rested it on her firm, smooth inner thigh, causing her lust to spike.

"Focus, darlin'," I reminded her. "What is it you never want to do?"

"Disappoint you or make you unhappy," she quickly admitted.

"You could never disappoint me," I said. "And, I know what unhappiness is, I lived it most of my existence. I didn't start really living until I pulled you off the Cullen porch the day I came back to Forks. But, now you have to trust me."

"I do," she said.

I ran my fingertips over her thigh, trailing them closer to her heated sex.

"You've only been like me for a short time." I continued to kiss her neck, indulging in the scent of her arousal that was now mixing in with the cool night air. "But, I know you're not satisfied with our diet."

"I'm trying," she defended.

"Shh," I whispered. "I know how hard it is, but you need to talk to me about it. I can help you."

"You are helping me," she insisted. "You're always here for me. I just need time to adjust. I'll figure it out."

She reached for my hand and placed it at her center. "Touch me."

"I will," I promised. "But, first, you have to swear that if you're losing control or you need my help, you have to come to me. I told you before I turned you, that I'd spend the rest of eternity caring for you."

I ran my finger up and down her slit. "Let me make everything all right for you."

"I want to continue with the animal diet," she moaned as she arched into my finger. "I can do it."

"I know you can," I encouraged as I moved my finger in and out of her tight body.

"Oh, Jasper…" she moaned as she lifted her hips up, rocking against my hand. She was full of lust and need. Her emotions were so unrefined when we were like this and they always fueled my own desire for her.

I reached up with my other hand and ripped her tank in half from the front, exposing her large, full breasts, but just as I was about to reach for one, she quickly turned around to face me.

"I thought we were workin' on focus?" I smiled because I knew exactly what she wanted.

"I'm totally focused." She licked her lips and pushed me down on the wooden dock. I hoped it was sturdy enough to support us or she'd be seeing first hand just how many fish were in the water.

She pulled at the button of my jeans, but became frustrated when she couldn't get them off fast enough. My pants found the same fate as her tank top. _Looked like we'd be climbing half- naked through the bedroom window again to avoid Peter and Char. That happened a lot!_

She climbed on top of me, taking my very hard cock in her hand and running it against her wet sex.

"I left my boots on." She smirked as she slid down onto me.

"Remind me to pick you up your very own authentic cowboy hat tomorrow." I gripped her hips and guided her up and down.

"And, where are you going again, tomorrow?" She bit her bottom lip as she leaned back and grabbed my thighs causing her long hair to brush against my balls.

"You," I laughed, "almost had me distracted enough to tell you."

She moved with a force and speed that made even _my_ head spin. My vamp girl was hot and she knew how to please.

"Bella!" I screamed loud enough to shake the dock beneath us. I met her thrust for thrust until both of us could take no more. She leaned down, gripping my shoulders and attacking my mouth with hers.

"I, oh, Jasper…"

She collapsed down onto me and waited for me to finish before she picked her head up and gently kissed my lips. She looked at me with a moment of brief uncertainty. The way she always looked when we were done connecting in a physical sense. All of her anxiety and distractions returned. She couldn't concentrate, but she fought so hard to stay with me. She was gradually learning how to let it all fade into the background, even if she couldn't see her progress yet.

I cupped her face between my hands and slowly kissed her lips. "It'll get better, I promise. You'll learn to block it all out. I'll help you."

She nodded and smiled before settling down against me.

"Just hold me," she whispered.

"Forever." I wrapped by arms around her and manipulated her into relaxing. She took a few calming breaths and then closed her eyes. We couldn't sleep, but sometimes it helped to pretend.

*****Hmm…I wonder where Jasper's going? And, I wonder if Bella can behave while he's gone? **

*****Oh, one more thing … several peeps wanted to know why Bella just doesn't tell Jasper what she wants. Hmm … well, where would my story be then? Just sit back and let me do what I do. I'll get us there. Haven't you heard me say that in everyone of my stories? Lol**

*****See you next week…**


	21. Part II Chp 4

*****Somehow I'm managing to keep this to a weekly post, so please forgive me if I missed responding to your review. I love hearing from you all and as always thanks for the support.**

*****Thanks TwiCarol for beta reading and to Lady Tazz (that's what I'm calling you) for pre-reading.**

*****If Bella being a "vampire" bothers you, you may want to skip this chapter. Come on…you knew where I was headed. Didn't you? Lol**

*****I don't own the characters or anything that has to do with Twilight. Well, I do have a Team Jasper t-shirt and a Team Edward slap bracelet, but I don't think that counts.**

_Bella_

I sat in the foyer for an hour after Jasper left, counting the raindrops that hit the window.

7,695…it was really raining out there.

I hated when we were apart. But, on the bright side, I was focused enough to count each drop, even while listening to the traffic eight miles away from the house. I was also able to maintain concentration despite the deep ache that was lingering in my chest.

I couldn't wait to tell Jasper of my progress. It would make him so proud.

"He'll be back soon." Char said as she slinked down next to me on the floor, pulling her knees into her chest.

"I know." I smiled. "I just miss him."

"I still ache when Peter leaves," she admitted. "We just try not to be apart for too long, but sometimes the break is nice."

"I know what you mean," I said. "Jasper has been so good since I opened my red eyes. He caters to my every need, but I know he's worried about me. I wish he could relax just a little bit."

"He'll never relax when it comes to you. He fell in love with you while you were still human, so part of him will always see you as that frail human."

"But, I'm so much stronger now. He knows I can hold my own."

"He's so proud of you." Char smiled. "He tells me all the time how confident and beautiful you are. But, he's worried."

"Why? I'm not doing anything wrong, am I?"

"He's worried about these feelings of unworthiness you're feeling. You're afraid of disappointing him, but you couldn't."

"He told you that?"

She nodded.

"He tells me all the time, but he's just so sure of everything and I want to be the woman he deserves," I said. "I know I can be, but I just have to get out of this crazy stage, you know?"

"I remember it well," she said. "Peter was a great help to me and so was Jasper, so lean on us, Bella. We can get you through it. You're already doing really well. I wish you could see it."

I knew she meant well, but there was one thing none of them had to deal with when they were turned. They all satiated their thirst, so they didn't have to contend with that added stress.

"What is it?" Char could always sense when I was stressed.

"Nothing." I smiled. I was determined to deal with this. I was strong and I knew I could overcome this little weakness. I just needed to focus on drinking from animals. If the Cullens could do it, so could I. I could do this for Jasper.

I stood up and gazed out the window.

"Hey, it's not raining so hard anymore." I noted. "I think I'm gonna go for a run. Pass some time until Jasper gets back."

"Oh, well, I have a new chicken dish in the oven, but if you give me a few minutes, I'll go with you." I knew she didn't want me wandering off alone, but if I couldn't be with Jasper, I wanted time with my own thoughts. I wanted to practice on focusing. I wanted to show Jasper how far I'd come today.

"Cooking for the homeless again?" I asked.

"Well, no sense in throwing it out." She smiled. "I'll run with you as soon as it's finished."

"No, Char," I said. "I'll be fine. I won't go far. Just to the dock and back. Jasper said it was okay for me to start going out on my own as long as I stayed on the property."

_Okay, so I was totally lying._ He said I could sit on the back porch while he was home, but he never said I could go as far as the dock. But, I didn't have any intentions of going very far. I just wanted to clear my head and see if I could calm my mind without the assistance of my mate's touch. If I could count the rain drops hitting the window, I was anxious to see what else I could do.

"Promise you won't wander off?"

"I won't," I said. "I probably won't even leave the yard."

"Okay." She hugged me. "I know you need some time to think, so go ahead, but just remember how much that man loves you. And, remember, he'll kill me if anything happens to you. Do you really want that on your head for all of eternity?"

I laughed. "Don't worry. You can sense me. You'll know I'm still here."

"Have fun." She smiled and headed for the kitchen.

For the first ten minutes, I stayed on the back porch, just like Jasper would've wanted. I counted how many times the porch ceiling fans rotated, but then I could hear the buzzing of bees in a nearby beehive, so I went over to investigate. I stuck my face ridiculously close to the hole and peeked in. They couldn't penetrate my skin, so I had nothing to worry about. The fresh honey smelled nice.

A few seconds later, I'd made my way to the dock and couldn't help thinking about how many times Jasper and I had done it there last night. How many times he made me…

_Focus, Bella!_

Before I knew it, I took off running through the forest. I loved the freedom; feeling the wind swish through my hair as the cool mist sprayed my face. The only thing missing was Jasper's hand in mine. I counted how many trees I'd passed as I ran, how many times I had to hurdle over a fallen log, and how many cars I'd outrun.

_Cars?_

_Shit!_

I slowed my pace and realized I'd screwed up big time. I'd been so focused on blocking everything out I didn't even realize exactly how far I'd run and in such a short amount of time.

_I was fast!_

_No, no…concentrate!_

I was on some sort of trail. I inhaled deeply and smelled a nearby lake. I looked around; I'd been here before, just not as a vampire. I peeked through the trees and saw a deserted swing set and play area. I saw empty soccer fields and a bike trail.

I was in the park, but because of the miserable day no one was here. _Well, almost no one._

My hands immediately flew to my throat.

_God, it burned!_

I smelled it immediately. A male. He was sweaty and breathing heavily. I glanced over my shoulder and saw he was jogging through the trails. He was about a half mile away from me; coming from the east side of the park. Now I was more focused than ever.

_Go figure!_

I hopped up in a tree to get a better view of him. I watched as he made his way around the trail two times. He was much slower than I was, that was for sure. I balanced myself easily on a thick branch and pulled my knees into my chest. I'd just wait him out. I could do this.

The birds had even scattered when I approached, so it was kind of boring up here and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't take my mind off his rapid heartbeat and the sound of the blood pumping through his veins. He was in pretty good shape. He looked to be about twenty-one or twenty-two; probably a college student.

_I wonder what his name is._

He looked like a Josh or an Austin.

_Austin_. I liked that. We were in Texas, after all.

So, I wondered when Austin would be finished running. I needed to get back home before Char freaked out. I wasn't gone that long; maybe she didn't notice I was missing yet.

_Jasper!_

_Oh crap, I had to get back before Jasper did._

I waited a little longer, and noticed my new friend Austin hadn't been by in a few minutes. Maybe he was finished his run. I dropped down from the tree, but as soon as I did, I was hit with his scent again.

_He wasn't finished. _

I stepped back away from the trail, hoping he hadn't seen me. He didn't. I was too quick. He whipped around the trail one more time, but this time, I was too close. I could hear his heart pounding against his chest. My hands began to shake and that low, stupid growl rumbled in my chest.

It was like waiting for John to approach the mailbox. Only this time, Jasper wouldn't be here to stop me…

I stepped out in front of him, obviously surprising him. I kept a safe distance, and averted my eyes to the ground. I didn't want him to get a good look at me yet.

"Oh." He abruptly stopped running and looked around. "Where did you come from?"

_I was so thirsty. _

"I, well, my car…"

_Yes, that would work!_

"It won't start," I said. "And, my phone died." I laughed as I continued to keep my head down. "It's just one of those days, you know?"

"Where is your car?" He looked around, clearly sensing something was off.

I had to make him believe me, or I could just walk away.

_Fight it, Bella! Walk away!_

"You know what, never mind." I turned to walk away at human speed, all the while fighting the one thing I wanted to do most. I didn't want this. I couldn't be a killer. It wasn't what I wanted; it wasn't what Jasper wanted for me.

_But, my leaving just wasn't meant to be._

"Wait!" He grabbed my arm. "It's gonna be dark and it's too dangerous for you to be wandering around the park."

_You have no idea._

I slowly turned to face him and for the first time looked directly into his eyes.

He stepped back.

_You should've let me leave._

"Your eyes." He swallowed hard. "I've never seen anything like them."

"I bet you haven't seen a lot of things." I smiled as my mouth filled with venom.

He stumbled as he turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm and yanked him toward me. His blood curdling scream indicated to me that I pulled too hard. He sucked in a deep breath and winced.

"I'm sorry!" I cried.

_I didn't want to hurt him!_

He looked at me with shock and pain on his face. I'd dislocated his shoulder.

"Umm, I didn't mean to…"

He tried to struggle out of my hold, so I released him, but he tripped in his haste and fell forward; hitting his head on the hard trail. It didn't take long for the coppery smell of his blood to assault my senses. He was bleeding heavily from the large cut on his forehead.

_This had just gone from bad to worse._

I bent down, picked him up and carried him deeper into the wooded area of the park. He was disoriented from either my speed or his head injury; maybe both. I could tell he was uncomfortable as I placed him on the ground.

"Please…" he begged. "What are you?"

"I don't know?" I ran my fingers through my hair, before leaning down to sniff the open wound on his head.

_What choice did I have now?_

He tried to scoot away from me, but I couldn't let him go now. He knew there was something wrong with me. My eyes, my strength and my speed. There was no way I could get out of this now. I couldn't risk exposing Jasper, Peter or Char. I needed to fix this.

"Leave me alone!" he screamed.

I ran my fingers over his cut and then slowly brought them to my mouth, sucking the blood from them.

_So good…_

He cried out for me to stop as I lowered my lips to his neck.

_I'm so sorry, Austin…_

*****She is a vampire, after all…**

*****I know what I'm doing…**


	22. Part II Chp 5

*****Thanks for reading and reviewing. A special thanks to Lady Tazz and TwiCarol!**

_Peter_

"Char!" I yelled. "Calm down!"

"He's going to kill me!" She screamed back. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"This isn't your fault," I said. "We'll find her."

"Oh, God!" She looked in the direction of the door, and judging from the way my wife was acting, it wasn't going to take Jasper long to figure out what was going on.

"I'll handle the Major," I said. "You just relax, or he'll freak out."

Jasper quickly opened the door and looked around. "What the hell is going on in here?" he asked. "The emotions swirling around you two are over the top."

"Jasper, listen." I stepped toward him.

"You know what?" He held his hand up for me to stop. "You two have been together long enough to figure out whatever your problem is. You don't need me to manipulate you. I need Bella, so I'm going to my girl." He stopped and looked around. "Why isn't she at my side? She's always right here when I get home."

"Oh! It's my fault!" Char said as she took his hand. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

_So much for letting me handle it!_

"What happened?" He looked around again and then spoke, barely above a whisper. "Bella, I'm home, darlin'."

"Come on, Jasper," I said. "You know she's not here."

He shook his head. There was no way he didn't sense she wasn't here, he just didn't want to believe it.

"Where is she?" He let go of Char's hand and searched each room like some frantic lunatic.

"She went out back," Char said.

"Alone?" he asked as he headed for the backdoor.

"She said she'd stay in the yard, maybe go to the dock…"

"You let her go to the dock by herself?" he screamed.

"She said, you said it was okay." Char was just distraught over the whole thing. "As soon as I realized she wasn't on the property, I took off after her, but she's so fast and I lost her scent about ten miles from here. I'm so sorry."

"Ten miles? Where the hell was she headed?"

"I don't know?" Char said. "She wanted some alone time and I thought she'd just stay close to home."

"You thought wrong!" he yelled.

"Hey!" I yelled back. "You can feel how bad Char feels about this, cut her a break!"

"No!" Jasper snapped back. "We have a newborn, who isn't in control of her thirst, running around town. Do you think she'll have the sense to hunt the way you do? To be discreet and do it in the shadows? Because, I didn't teach her how to do that, did you?"

"Let's give her some credit," I said. "We don't know where she is or what she's doing."

"Exactly!" He stormed out of the house and screamed for Bella. Char went out after him, but just as I was about to follow I got a text.

**Please help me. I'm in the park. Don't tell Jasper…**

_Ah fuck!_

_What have you gotten yourself into, little one?_

I went outside, knowing any attempts to lie to my brother and mate would never work. But, I didn't want to violate Bella's trust either. She was part of my family and she trusted me to help her.

Jasper's head snapped in my direction as soon as I walked outside. He already sensed I knew something.

"You check the perimeter," I told him. "Char, you stay close to home and I'll head out and search around town."

"I'll go with you; we'll cover more ground together." Jasper said. "Char, call us if she comes back."

"No," I said. "You need to stay here. I'll call you if I find her."

"Peter?"

"Let me do this," I said. "You'll be of no use to me running around town in the state you're in. You'll want to be close if she comes here."

He nodded.

"She'll be fine," I assured him. "She's not that fragile, little human anymore. She's smart and strong."

"I know," he said. "I'm not worried about her protecting herself. I just don't want her to have to live with the demons her mistakes will bring."

"Jasper, sometimes we have to make mistakes in order to learn."

He agreed, but he wasn't happy.

"If anything happens to her," he said. "I can't exist without her."

"Nothing is going to happen to her," I told him. "I'll be back." I quickly kissed Char and then took off for the park, knowing exactly what I was going to find once I reached Bella.

It was dark and deserted, but it didn't take me long to pick up her scent. Not only did I smell her, but I could smell her fresh kill a few miles away. I cautiously approached the section of the forest where she was waiting. She was cradling his dead body in her arms and sobbing over him. She kept repeating how sorry she was over and over again. She was covered in his blood.

"Bella," I called.

As soon as I spoke, she did something I'd never seen any other vampire do in my very long existence.

"What the fuck?" I whispered.

"I didn't mean to," she cried out.

I moved closer to her, well, as close as I could get. She was enclosed in some weird bubble. It probably couldn't even be seen by the human eye, but it was definitely meant to keep people out. I knew I couldn't get anywhere near her as long as she had that protection around her.

"Sugar," I said. "If you want my help, you need to drop that thing."

"You didn't tell Jasper, did you?"

"No, Bella, please let me get closer to you," I said. "Drop that thing."

"He's going to be so mad." She shook her head. "I didn't mean to come here. I was running and the next thing I knew I was here. I lost track."

"It happens," I said. "But, we have to get out of here before someone comes looking for him."

"Oh God," she sobbed. "He probably has a family."

"Don't think about that." I slowly approached her because she momentarily let her guard, and whatever the hell that thing was around her, down. I dropped down next to her and pulled her toward me, causing her to lose hold on him.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and shook against me.

"I didn't want to hurt him, but he fell and hit his head and…" She looked down at her victim.

"His blood was too overwhelming for you. You lost control and instinct took over." I finished for her. "I understand completely."

"Jasper won't understand," she whispered. "I told him I would try and now I did the one thing I never wanted to do. He's going to feel responsible for this, and it's not his fault."

"You're wrong," I told her. "He'll get it. He's the one vampire who can understand this better than anyone, so we're not hiding this from him."

She nodded.

"I would never ask you to betray him that way," she said. "I panicked. I should have called him, but I wasn't thinking clearly."

"We need to get this taken care of." I let her go and glanced at the body next to us.

"How?"

"I'll show you what to do." I ran my fingers through my hair as I studied her blood soaked clothes. "You're a messy eater and, from the looks of it, pretty thorough. You drained him completely."

"I couldn't stop," she said. "It was the most satisfying hunt I'd ever experienced. His blood was warm and tasted so much different than an animal. It was sweeter. And, the consistency was somehow thicker and more satiating. I feel different, almost like…"

She didn't finish her thoughts, so I did it for her.

"Almost like that was the way it was meant to be?"

"Yes." She pressed her palm against her forehead. "My throat doesn't burn anymore. And, things seem clearer. Why is that?"

"It's your natural food source." I said. "It's what we're supposed to live off of."

"No." She shook her head. "I can't."

"I didn't make the rules," I said. "But, it doesn't mean you can't be fulfilled with the animal diet. Jasper does it and so do the Cullens, and there's a coven in Alaska that makes it work. It can be done, but there's no shame in slipping up, especially for a vampire as new as you."

"If I just would've stayed inside, this never would've happened. I'd be home with Jasper right now."

"Well, should've, would've, could've never helped anyone. You just gotta move forward now." I stood up and walked toward the corpse. "I'll take care of this, but stay close to me. We don't need any more slip ups tonight."

"What are you gonna do with him?"

"I have to bury him," I said. "Deep enough so the animals won't disturb him." I headed further into the forest where the brush was thicker and the soil harder. It was a desolate area that wasn't meant for human occupancy. Bella followed me. "No one will come out here."

"This doesn't seem right," she said. "Should we say a few words, you know, like a eulogy?"

_Was she fuckin' kidding me?_

"Sugar, I don't really think that's necessary under the circumstances." I glanced down at her blood soaked throat and chin. "We just have to get out of here."

I did what I had to do with the body while I made Bella tell me about her new gift.

"Was that the first time you did that?"

"Yeah, I don't even know how I did it," she admitted. "I heard you coming and I just felt so ashamed of what I'd done."

"So, it was like trying to hide from me?"

"I guess." She paced the small area where we were. "I didn't really think about it. It sorta happened. What do you think it is?"

"I don't know. I have to think about it." I wasn't really sure what it was, or how it was supposed to be used, but I knew it was special. "Okay, let's go home."

"No!"

"What do you mean, no?" I asked. "I figure we've got about five more minutes until Jasper tracks us down. Is that really the way you want to play this? Because if he's gotta come and get you, it won't be pretty."

"What am I gonna tell him?" She looked up at a large tree and it didn't take a genius to figure out what she was contemplating.

"How about the truth? You fucked up!" I shouted because this was tiresome. "And, it probably won't be the last time."

She crouched down and made an attempt to jump into the tree, but I anticipated what she was doing and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her down to the ground.

"What are you doing?" She growled as she clawed at me.

"You're not wasting any more time." I held her arms behind her back. "We're going home."

"You can't make me!" She struggled out of my hold like a petulant child. She was strong, but I managed to secure her.

"Bella, please don't make me hurt you. I don't want to piss Jasper off any more than we already have." I stood up, pulling her up and flinging her onto my back. I took off before she even had time to register which direction we were headed in. She kicked and screamed the whole way home.

I felt for her, really I did. She was in a tough position. She was a newborn who was being denied her natural food source. It was what she said she wanted before Jasper turned her, and he was honoring her wishes, plus it was what he wanted for her. But, really, how could she have made that decision without fully understanding what it was she was to become? How could she have known she'd be able to survive on animals alone?

She needed time to explore the woman she was now. She had to accept and learn who she was before making such a life altering choice. She was a vampire and we fed from humans. I would never stand in between my brother and his mate, but I didn't envy the challenges that stood before them.

As I slowed my pace and approached the back porch, Jasper came flying out of the house and stood just inches from me. Bella slid down my back and stepped toward him. I could see the momentary relief cross his face when he saw that she was okay. But, that didn't last long. He took a deep breath, taking in her scent and then her appearance.

"Thank you for bringing her back to me," he told me before extending his hand for her. "Come with me."

Bella stepped forward, placing her trembling hand in his. I glanced up at Char who was now standing on the porch. She gave me a look that warned me not to interfere. This was between Jasper and Bella now. But, I had to wonder just how far Jasper's position as her mate would cause him to go?

*****Don't panic. I have lots of faith in Jasper…**


	23. Part II Chp 6

*****Hi (waves)…I made it! Somehow I managed to get the post out today! Thanks for reading and commenting! It means the world to me!**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol and Lady Tazz!**

*****I don't own it!**

_Jasper_

As soon as I sensed them coming onto the property, I ran out onto the porch. Relief flooded my senses. My Bella was home. She was back where she belonged. I moved closer to them and waited for her to let go of Peter.

The scent of human blood was overpowering. Her clothes were saturated, her skin stained red and her hair was streaked in it. _What had she done?_ _How many had she slaughtered?_ It didn't matter. She was back and she was safe, so I could overlook this.

"Thank you for bringing her back to me," I said to Peter, extending my hand for Bella. "Come with me."

Bella stepped forward, placing her trembling hand in mine. I felt her shame and guilt over her actions. I could also feel Peter's trepidation about letting Bella come with me.

"Jasper, maybe…" Peter started, but I didn't allow him to finish.

"This is between me and my mate." I turned and looked at Bella. "Unless you don't want to discuss this."

"N-no, I need to explain what happened." She placed a quick peck on Peter's cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. "I'll be fine."

He nodded and, again, I felt how anxious he was. I didn't know what he thought I was going to do to Bella, but I couldn't focus on that right now.

"Let's get you upstairs to the shower." I led Bella into the house and up to our bathroom. Once inside, I turned on the faucet.

"Jasper?"

"You need to get out of these clothes." I reached for the buttons of her blood-stained white blouse. The scent was overwhelming, especially now that the steam was filling the air in a heavy fog. I licked my lips and tried to fight back the urges I was feeling.

As soon as I had her shirt off, I undid the button of her jeans and lowered the zipper. She stood still and let me undress her, gripping my shoulders for support as she stepped out of her pants. I slowly moved back up her body, gently brushing my face against her stomach.

"I didn't leave because I wanted to feed from a human," she said.

"Shh." I continued my journey up her body, stopping to lick the dried blood just above her left breast. I grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to me. She gasped at my speed, but didn't protest when I trailed my tongue up her neck, licking as much of that human off her as I could.

"Jasper," she whispered and I felt her lust spike. She twisted her fingers in my hair and guided me to her lips.

"Isabella," I moaned against her mouth. "Do you have any idea how good you taste to me right now?" I swiped my tongue over her lips and then plunged it deep into her mouth, swirling it around. The more I took, the more she wanted. She was rubbing her body up against mine and practically purring with desire. My head was spinning as I clawed at her bra, shredding it from her chest.

I nipped and licked at her jaw, trying to taste what she'd left behind. I ran my hands down her body and in one swift move; ripped her panties off and lifted her up, pushing her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around my waist and ground her wet center into my hard cock. I could feel how wet she was. The scent of her arousal engulfed the room, but that wasn't the scent that kept me going. Not this time.

"Jasper," she moaned. "I knew you'd understand."

She reached down and tried to unbuckle my belt. We had to stop doing this. Sex couldn't be the answer for everything. At times it helped her. It was almost therapeutic, but not now.

"No!" I pushed her hand away and felt the immediate rejection coming from her. I had lost focus. I needed to create some distance. I gently placed her on her feet. "You need to shower now."

"But?" She was struggling to find the words. She was aroused and confused.

"I'll take care of these." I bent down and picked up her wet, bloody, dirty clothes. "I'll be back when you're finished. Please make sure you wash your hair really well. The scent, it's too much." I looked down at my feet, feeling ashamed that I couldn't control my thirst.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"We'll talk when you're out of the shower, okay?" I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Just stay focused. I'll be back in a few minutes."

She nodded before stepping into the shower. The sounds of her sobs echoing throughout the stall were enough to break my heart, but I couldn't stay with her right now. I needed to regroup and get it together so I could help her.

I went to the backyard and started a fire in the outside pit. I didn't want any trace of Bella's evening left in our bedroom, so I tossed the clothes in. I paced the backyard, waiting for her to get out of the shower. I knew we needed to discuss what had happened today, but I needed to be in total control before we did. She needed me to be strong; not some blood-obsessed junkie trying to get a fix by licking it off her skin.

_What the fuck was I thinking?_

I closed my eyes and reached into my front pants pocket, pulling out the little trinket that made me leave my mate today in the first place. I had different plans for tonight.

"That's a pretty big fuckin' ring," Peter said as he came into my sight. "Now Char's gonna want to trade up. Those two are as thick as thieves and Bella can't have a bigger engagement ring."

I shook my head and smiled as I looked down at the five carat, platinum, diamond ring. I couldn't wait to see it on her finger. She'd given me so much in such a short time. I wanted to make her my wife, even if we didn't do it legally, I wanted her to have a symbol and ask her to take my last name.

"This is not the way I thought tonight would turn out."

"Oh, I don't know?" He leaned against the oak tree. "The night's still young."

"I can't believe this happened." I continued to pace. "How did I let this happen?"

"You weren't even here," Peter reminded me. "And, even if you were, it would've happened sooner or later. She's a newborn. It's not her fault."

"I know that," I said. "I'm not talking about her slip up. There's no shame in it. I know it better than anyone."

"Then what the hell is the problem?"

"She…" I was too upset to talk about it. "Nothing. Never mind."

"Talk to me," he said. "Before you take it out on her."

"What is it that you think I'm going to take out on her?" I asked, remembering the vibes I was picking up from him when he brought Bella home. "Do you think I would hurt her?"

"No, not intentionally."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I was there," he said. "I remember what you did when someone disobeyed you or went against Maria's coven. It's ingrained in who you are. I don't care how many years we've been removed from it."

"You think I would punish Bella the way I did those newborns?" I couldn't believe he thought I could hurt her that way. "She's my mate. I love her."

"I know and I'm sorry, but I saw the look in your eyes," Peter said. "You weren't upset because she slipped up. You saw betrayal."

"What? No." I shook my head.

"Stop! You don't do denial well," he said.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I mumbled as I kicked dirt in the fire to put it out.

"You're not pissed that she drained a human, you're mad because she called me and you saw that as a direct betrayal. I recognized it immediately. It was practically dripping off you."

"What if you're right? Did you think I'd beat her, withhold her next meal, and dismember her?" I shoved the ring back in my pocket. "You're absurd."

"Am I?" He smiled.

He was such a smug bastard.

"I was hurt," I admitted. "She knew she could come to me. Why didn't she trust me?"

"It had nothing to do with trust. She knew she fucked up and she didn't want to disappoint you. Not after you worked so damn hard to stay clean."

"These expectations are unrealistic for a newborn."

"I agree," Peter said.

"You would." I sat down on the porch steps. "But, I can't go back. I won't." I was torn because I repeatedly told Bella that I'd do anything for her, but I never thought I'd have to go back to feeding from humans.

"Well, maybe it's something Char and I have to handle?" Peter suggested. "You know, just until she figures things out for herself."

"I don't know," I said. "It wasn't what she wanted when she was human."

"And that's because she experienced the Cullens," Peter reminded me. "They are the exception, Jasper. Bella may not be that kind of vampire."

"It's too soon to tell," I said. "I need to discuss it with her."

"You need to really listen this time," he said. "Don't let her distract you." He arched a brow at me, and I knew he knew what usually ended up happening between us. "I know how much you love her pus…"

"Don't talk about her that way." I growled.

"Well, you do and you lose focus and end up fuckin' her brains out instead of talkin'. I hear what goes on in that bedroom, and the family room, and on the porch and the…"

"Okay, you might have a point. We can't use sex to solve our problems." I ran my hand through my hair and tried to figure out how I was going to help Bella.

"She has a gift," Peter said nonchalantly.

"What?" My head snapped up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yup." He nodded. "I saw it myself."

"What is it?"

"I think it's a shield," he said. "I've been thinking about it all night. It was like a force field or some shit. I couldn't penetrate it when she put it up."

"Put what up?" I didn't understand.

"Her shield," he said. "It was like a thin bubble, for lack of a better word. I don't think a human would be able to detect it, but it was there. It's a protection mechanism."

"What was she protecting?"

"Her dead human."

"Huh?"

"When I found her in the park, she popped it up before I could get close to her," he said. "Once she lost focus, she dropped it."

"I've never heard of that before, have you?"

He shook his head.

"It makes sense," I said as I thought about it for a few minutes. "Edward couldn't hear her thoughts."

"Hmm, so she carried that over into her vampire life. Interesting." I could feel Peter's curiosity pushing to the surface. He liked to research our gifts and see how far we could take them.

Char came out of the house and smiled at me.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," I said. "I was just worried about Bella."

"I know and I'm sorry she got away from me," she said. "I feel like I let you down, Major."

"You could never disappoint me." I stood up and hugged her. "I trust you with my mate, so please don't feel bad about this. We'll get Bella through this."

"Bella's going to be just fine," she said. "She's out of the shower and looking for you. She's really upset."

"Okay," I sighed. "I'll make this right."

"Jasper," Peter said. "Make sure you listen to what she _wants_ before you give her what she _needs_."

I knew Peter was right. I had to let Bella decide what was right for her. She asked me to keep her on the animal diet before she fully realized what she would want. It wasn't fair to force her into expectations she couldn't live up to. I spent decades trying to live up to Carlisle's standards. I couldn't do it when I was living with the Cullens because I wasn't ready to do it. Bella needed to figure out what she wanted and I'd have to find a way to help her even if I couldn't feed the same way.

I walked into our bedroom and found her lying on her stomach with her face buried in a pillow.

"Bella?" I whispered as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

She didn't move. I could feel her embarrassment and guilt.

I rubbed her back.

"I'm not disappointed," I said. "Please look at me."

"No!" She cried. "I didn't mean to do it."

"I know that, sweetheart." I continued to run my hand over her back.

"I could count the raindrops hitting the window," she said into the pillow.

"What?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"I stayed focused enough to count the rain hitting the window," she said. "I wanted to see what else I could concentrate on. I started running and I ended up in the park. I wanted to come back home but then he was running along the trail and he smelled so good. I tried to leave but he wouldn't let me. I hurt him and he hit his head. He started bleeding…"

I could feel her anxiety over the memory. "It's okay."

"No! It's not okay." She sobbed. "We had to bury him. His family will never know what happened to him. It's my fault."

I moved down beside her and pulled her onto my chest, stroking her hair, assisting her with calm vibes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into her hair. "I failed you. I should've been more aware."

"No," she insisted. "I let you down. You must be so ashamed of me."

"I'll never be ashamed of you," I said. "I know exactly what you're dealing with. The struggle you're battling with every day. Why didn't you come to me, Bella? Didn't you think I understood better than anyone?"

"I panicked," she admitted. "I looked down at his lifeless body and I was so afraid. I called Peter because I thought in that split second he'd help me hide this from you. I didn't want you to feel guilty because I had slipped up. But, I realized that I could never hide anything from you. I don't want secrets."

"You never have to keep anything from me," I said. "I wasn't upset that you slipped up. I was just hurt that you didn't call me for help."

"I was scared, but I'll never do it again," she said. "All I wanted was you. I needed you."

"And, I wasn't there." I couldn't help but think that we should be engaged right now. If the night had gone the way I had planned, I would've asked her to marry me, but this was not the night I wanted to do that. I didn't want our special evening to be tainted in anyway.

"It wasn't your fault," she said.

"Peter told me about your gift," I said. "It sounds really amazing."

"I don't even know how I did it," she said. "It just happened."

"Well, maybe we can work on it and see what your full potential really is." I pulled her closer to me. "I know you're probably on overload right now, but we need to talk about your diet."

"What do you mean?"

"I was thinkin' maybe you'd like to try a more traditional food source?" I was trying to be delicate.

"Humans?"

I nodded. "If you wanted to, you could hunt with Peter and Char."

"That wouldn't bother you?"

I had to be honest.

"It would bother me a great deal," I admitted. "Knowing I couldn't be there with you. But, Bella, no matter how much I love you, I can't feed from humans. It isn't something that I can live with anymore. As I'm getting older, my gift is getting stronger and it drains me to feel their emotions like that. It's not a way of life I can ever return to. But, I won't stand in your way."

"I understand," she said. "And, I appreciate what you're trying to offer me, but it isn't what I want. Tonight I made a mistake. I lost control and I fed from a human. It happens, right?"

"It does," I agreed.

"I want to stick with the animal diet." I could feel how adamant she was. "I want to be like you. Promise you'll help me. Please, Jasper. I can't do what I did tonight ever again. And, I can't be the reason you fail. I saw how much you were struggling in the bathroom."

She was so certain. I wanted nothing more than to help her. I knew the guilt she was feeling and I'd do whatever it took to make sure she never felt that way again.

"You would never be the reason I fail. I'll do whatever you need," I promised. "You just have to trust me."

"I trust you with my life." She crawled on top of me, straddling my waist. Her eyes quickly darkened as she leaned down to kiss me. "You didn't finish what you started in the bathroom."

"Hmm, well, I was trying to take care of you emotionally," I said as I ran my hands along her spine. "And, Peter thinks I'm obsessed with a certain body part of yours."

"You better be." She smirked as she pressed into the very prominent bulge in my pants. She leaned down and pressed her lips to mine, mumbling against my mouth. "I need you. It helps."

"I know and I want you," I whispered. "But, you have to learn to communicate with me in other ways."

She swirled her tongue in my mouth as she ripped at my belt buckle. "I'll talk all you want," she moaned as she continued to rock into me. "Just not now."

I flipped her onto her back and quickly gave her what she wanted. Our clothes were gone in a vamp second and we were connected a heartbeat later. As I thrust into her, I whispered, "I'm too weak to resist you." Her scent, her lust, her love and her need took over and I was done.

"Wanting me is not a weakness, Jasper." She wrapped her legs around my hips and met me thrust for thrust. "It's what's right and you know it."

"I need you as much as you need me," I spoke against her neck. "Just don't forget how much."

"Jasper…I love you…" She softly let go as she raked her fingernails down my back and then gripped my backside.

I continued to move inside her, telling her over and over again how much I loved her and how she'd always be mine. And then, I closed my eyes and whispered her name as I released deep inside her waiting body.

*****Some of you are worried Bella has lost her backbone. I'm going to disagree. She's not the same character I created at the beginning of this story and that was intentional on my part. She's going through a MAJOR ;) change in her life and she's confused and doesn't exactly know where to put herself atm. Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride…let me drive. Lol I'll get us where we need to be.**


	24. Part II Chp 7

*****Thanks to all who are reading and reviewing. I appreciate it!**

*****TwiCarol and Lady Tazz keep me going!**

*****I don't own anything Twilight. Not even the empath I'm so very fond of.**

_**Bella**_

The next few weeks were a struggle, but I honestly believed I could do this. I had Jasper's support and with that, I could accomplish anything. It meant the world to me that he was willing to let me figure out this life on my own. I appreciated his trust and willingness to let me be my own woman.

As the pages on the calendar turned, my focus was getting better. I could actually read a book now without hearing every other sound around me. I learned how to block out the traffic, running water, and to my delight, Peter and Char's sex life.

I was slowly letting go of the guilt of what happened in the park that night. With Peter's help, I was learning to accept that while human life was precious, it was still a necessity for a vampire. The one thing that still bothered me was that feeding was the most satisfying experience of my short vampire existence. No animal could ever compare to the taste of my natural food source. But, I was determined, if for no other reason than to live a happy life with the beautiful man staring at me from across the other side of the pond. He didn't have an easy existence. He was finally at peace and I wanted him to stay that way.

"Okay, beautiful," he called. "Put it back up."

_Poor Jasper!_ He'd been trying, unsuccessfully, I might add, for the past forty minutes to penetrate my shield. I personally wanted him to penetrate something else, but I'd been working on that too. I was trying not to jump him every chance I got, but I wasn't always successful either.

_Who could blame me? It's Jasper!_

"Fine," I sighed as I looked at my freshly polished nails. My vampire nails were strong and perfect and they never broke. I was so distracted by the new color that Char had painted them that I didn't even realize Jasper had come at me at full speed, crashing right into my shield. It didn't go very well for him.

"Oh!" I looked up just as he was being ricocheted off of it and getting hurled back across the pond. I quickly dropped the shield, and hurried to his side, kneeling down next to him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He laughed as he shook it off. "My ego's a little bruised."

"Sorry." I smiled. "If you would've knocked, I would've let you in."

He pulled me down into his lap. "It's definitely meant to be a defense mechanism. I wish I would've had you when I was fighting Maria's battles. Nothing can get through that."

"But, look," I said as I focused all of my energy and concentration on surrounding the two of us inside my shield. "Nothing can get to either one of us now. We're in our own little bubble."

"You've been doing so well with your focus these past few days. In case I forgot to say it, I'm extremely proud of you and incredibly honored to share a bubble with you."

I gave him a quick kiss and sent him a dose of the love I was feeling for him. He smirked and if he could blush, I knew he would be.

"Thank you for noticing, but being able to talk to you and having you listen to all of my fears and anxieties have really helped."

"Good. I'm glad you understand I'll always be here, no matter what."

I leaned forward and slowly kissed him.

"Are we done with trying to break my shield?"

"For now." He ran his fingers through my hair. "You're so beautiful."

I smiled. "You made me."

He shook his head. "You were always beautiful." He pressed his lips to mine and swirled his tongue inside my mouth.

I ran my hand down his cheek as I cuddled deeper into him. "Will it always be this perfect?" I felt so much love for him. I was comfortable and safe in his arms.

"I know how I can make it more perfect." He smiled.

"How?" I kissed his neck. "It can't get better than this moment. Just the two of us, together, happy and in love for all eternity. I don't need anything else."

"Bella." He took a deep breath and he looked nervous as he shoved his hand in his pants pocket. I didn't think I'd ever seen Jasper uncomfortable before. It worried me.

"What is it?"

"I've been thinking that maybe it's time we—"

His voice was faint and it wasn't even like I was sitting next to him anymore. I was someplace else. Jasper's lips were moving, but I was no longer focused on his words. My head snapped in the direction of the trees. I heard two humans about ten miles from here. I couldn't really smell them but it didn't matter. I knew how they would taste and I couldn't let that feeling go. All I could think about was how I was going to get to them.

"Bella?" Jasper took my face in his hand. "Look at me."

"No!" I shook my head and growled. "Please."

"They are far enough away from us. We can get up and leave. You'll forget about them in a few minutes." He held my face still and stared into my eyes. "Fight this."

"No!" I sprung up out of his lap and backed away.

He got up and reached for my hand, but I knew if he got a hold of me, he'd be determined enough to keep me in place. Before he could touch me, I threw my shield up.

"Bella! Drop it!" He moved closer to me, but stopped just inches from my shield. "Isabella!"

"I can't, Jasper. I need this. Please, can't you understand?"

"Better than anyone," he whispered. "And, I also know how it'll tear you apart. You're caught in the moment. You might want this now, but it'll pass. I promise. Just let me help you."

"Come with me," I whispered.

"What?"

"We can do this together." I took off running in the direction of the humans. At this point, I didn't care if he followed or not. I'd worry about that later.

"Bella!" He screamed for me, but I was so fast, I was already miles from where he stood.

The scent was getting stronger, their laughter was louder now. I was so close. I could taste that warm liquid on my tongue. I couldn't wait for it to slide down my throat. I'd be so fulfilled. My body shook in anticipation. In a few seconds, I'd feed the way I was meant to feed and nothing would stop me. I didn't think I ever ran this fast before, everything was a blur as I pushed past the brush of the forest.

I stopped just at the trees edge and peered through. It was a young couple, not much older than I would've been if I were still human. He was caressing her face as they leaned against a big tree. I noticed their bikes placed a few feet from where they were standing. They must have stopped for a few minutes to rest.

My hands were twitching by my sides and my throat was getting hotter. I had to figure out how I was going to take them both down at the same time without causing too much panic.

Before I could advance on them, I felt calm and relaxed. It was almost if I couldn't move and strangely, I wanted to take a nap.

_Shit!_

"Stop manipulating me. Let me be my own person." I turned to face Jasper, who was now standing directly in front of me, running his fingers through his hair. He looked so helpless. I was draining him.

"I would if you really knew who you wanted to be."

"I know what I want." I nodded in the direction of the couple. "There are two of them. We could do this together."

Jasper spun me around and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Look how happy they are," he whispered against my hair. "They remind me of us."

"No, they aren't like us." I didn't want to hear that."They're nothing like us."

"They're young, happy and in love," he said. "I can feel how much they love one another. It's very strong for two humans. They can't mate like we can, but they have a solid bond."

"Stop it," I said. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because you told me what you wanted."

"I changed my mind," I said. "And, so can you."

"No." I felt him shake his head. "I won't change my mind."

"Jasper, I need this. Just this one time and I won't do it again."

_God, I sounded like an addict trying to get another fix._

"I won't stand in your way." He let go of me, so I quickly turned around, trying to search for the answers in his eyes. "If you tell me with no uncertainty this is what you want, I won't stop you."

I didn't know what to say. _Was I certain?_ _Was this really what I wanted?_

"But," he continued. "I think you should know, that girl," he pointed toward the couple, "she's pregnant."

"What? No!" I turned and stared at her as Jasper wrapped his hands around my waist again, pressing his palm to my own stomach.

"Listen carefully," he said. "You can hear the third heartbeat, can't you?"

I closed my eyes and focused. He was right. There was another heartbeat. It wasn't as strong as the others, but it was there.

"So, you're right. They're not like us." He ran his hand over my stomach; the stomach that would never carry his child. "But, can you imagine how happy we'd be if you were having my baby?"

I nodded, trying hard to hold back a sob.

"That wasn't meant to be for us, but we can have so much more. You need to decide what you want."

I turned in his arms and rested my head on his shoulder. "It's so hard, Jasper."

"I know." He stroked my hair. "But, do you want to kill these people?"

I looked up at him.

"You'd help me?" I whispered.

"I'd do anything for you, you're my mate. I swore I'd protect you."

"But, your gift." I was so confused. _How could he offer to help me?_

"I wouldn't drink from them, but I'd make sure you were safe and no one would ever know."

I was so overwhelmed with everything that was happening. I almost attacked a pregnant woman. I would've ended three lives that fast. And, now my animal drinking mate was standing there telling me, he'd help me do it. I knew he didn't want this for me, but he loved me enough to look the other way.

I threw my arms around his neck and slowly kissed him, twisting my fingers in his hair and then running my lips along his jaw. "Take me home," I whispered against his neck.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"Yes."

He scooped me up, tossed me on his back and took off for the house. I buried my head against his shoulder and tried to make sense of all of this. Once we got back, he gently lowered me to the ground and took a seat on the porch steps.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I should never have asked you to feed with me. It was insensitive and selfish."

"You're not selfish," he said. "I'm only trying to do what's right for you, but I don't know how to help you."

"Yes, you do." I sat down next to him and rested my head against his shoulder. "You're doing the best you can."

"I don't think my best is working."

"Jasper, don't blame yourself. I just need more time. It's only been a couple of months. I'll get the hang of this. Look how much better my focus is."

"You're doing amazing, Bella," he said. "But, I know the struggles you're facing. It took me years to figure it out."

"Do you think I can do it?" His support meant everything to me.

"I'm not convinced you want to do it," he said. "And, there's no shame in that."

"That's why you offered to let me feed from them?"

"There were so many times when I resented Alice and the Cullens for not letting me feed the way I wanted to. They were only trying to help, because I swore to them I wanted to live the way they did, but the longer they kept interfering, the angrier I became. There was a time when Alice meant everything to me, but as the years went by; I started to lose feelings for her."

"You think I'll feel that way about you?" I couldn't imagine a world where I didn't love Jasper the way I did today. As a matter of fact, my feelings for him grew stronger every day.

"Alice was never my mate," he said. "But, I was very close to her and I remember how frustrated I would get because she wouldn't let me slip up. She was always monitoring me and telling me what I wanted. She had Edward inside my head constantly. It was no way to live."

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "She ended up being right, but she had the help of her gift to see where I'd end up. I can't say for certain what it is you want. And, I can't be the person you end up hating."

"I want you. I want a life with you." I climbed into his lap. "I could never hate you. Please believe me."

"I want to believe _that_ with all of my heart," he said. "It just may not be something you can control."

I gently kissed his lips. "You're wrong."

He pushed the hair from my face and then ran his finger down my cheek. "I think we need help," he whispered. "The sooner the better."

What if getting this help changed things between us? It was just a little nagging feeling, not enough to alert Jasper, but enough to worry me. I had a feeling our Bella/Jasper bubble was about to burst.

*****Poor Jasper…will he ever get that ring on her finger?**

*****Any guesses as to who is going to help them? Or, tear them apart?**

***** Runs and hides…**


	25. Part II Chp 8

*****Thanks for all the comments and response to this story! I really appreciate it. Sorry this is a couple days late, but I'm here now and I brought sexy Jasper with me!**

*****Thanks Lady Tazz and TwiCarol for putting up with my crazy schedule!**

*****I still don't own it.**

_Jasper_

A week had passed since the incident with the young pregnant couple. Bella was doing her best to keep to the animal diet, but she was resentful. Not with me, she assured me of that, but with the way she was feeling. It was as if she was withdrawing, much the way an addict would.

Her emotions were desperate and confused. The only time she really seemed happy was when I was holding her. That gave me some comfort, but I wanted her to be happy all the time. She was constantly struggling with her choice. I knew eventually she'd come to terms with her decision, but how long that would take worried me.

"I don't know what to do with her?" I paced the yard. "Her mouth says one thing, but her actions show me something different."

"She's a vampire," Peter said. "Let her be a vampire."

I looked up at him in disgust. "You're not helping."

"Why don't you let me and Char take her out this week," he suggested. "Let her see what it's really like to hunt and then she can make an informed decision."

Having Bella hunt with Peter and Char made sense. Bella could see for herself what it was like to live the true life we were meant to live. The problem with that was, could I handle it? Could I relinquish my mate to another? I was the one who was supposed to show her how to deal with this life. I created her, and she was my responsibility.

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask." he said. "I offered."

"It doesn't feel right."

"Turn your ability off for a second and rethink it," he said.

"If it were that easy, I'd turn my gift off and hunt with Bella," I reminded him. "Part of me wants to believe her struggle has to do with being a newborn. I honestly don't believe Bella would want to hunt humans. And, I think deep down she knows that."

"I don't know," he said. "She's so new. How could she know?"

"You're right," I said. "But, if she really wanted to hunt humans, she could've taken me up on my offer to help her the other day. She's proven she has some restraint."

"She wouldn't have hurt you that way." Peter sat on the porch steps. "She knew even if you didn't do the actual killing, you would've felt their fear. She wants to protect you the same way you protect her."

"So, what the fuck am I gonna do?"

"You once belonged to a coven that drank solely from animals. It seems like a no-brainer to me."

"I've thought about that, but I can't exactly trek across the world and take Bella to France. I'm having a hard enough time containing her to our backyard."

"Luckily for you, they're not in France," Peter said with a smile.

"What do you mean? How do you know?"

"I'm intrigued by the little one's gift, so I called Papa C to see if he had ever seen anything like it. He told me that he and Esme were headed back to the States for a brief time so he could assist with some hospital research in Seattle."

"They're coming back?"

"Yup, and maybe if you took Bella to see them, he could help you," Peter said. "It's worth a try."

It _was_ a good idea. Maybe if Bella saw Carlisle and Esme, she'd realize why she wanted to feed from animals in the first place. Maybe if she were around someone other than me, she'd learn to accept that way of life.

"It's too close to Forks," I said. "What if I can't keep her from Charlie?"

"They're staying in a large house, deep in the woods, away from people and the city. It's isolated."

"I know it well. They had to take me there several times during my time with them. I hated it there because I couldn't pick up a human scent for miles. Once I spent two months at that property, trying to control my thirst."

"Did it work?"

I nodded.

"Do you remember what Alice said when you went to see her and Edward in Alaska?"

He knew I did since we forgot nothing.

"That they wouldn't see Bella until she was like us." I smiled because Alice knew I'd need them to help me with Bella. "Why doesn't she just tell me what I need to know?"

"She gets off on making you squirm, I guess." Peter laughed. "I'll call Carlisle and tell him you're coming."

"I can do it."

"Umm, yeah, you're gonna have a bigger problem." He nodded in the direction of the house.

"What?" I felt his amusement. The same amusement I always felt from him when he was talking about my girl. "She's been dying for me to take her somewhere. She hates being cooped up here."

"I don't think visiting the Cullens is what she had in mind."

"What do you know?"

"You really need to ask me that? Do I ask you what you can feel?"

I rolled my eyes.

"All I'm sayin' is, she may not be excited to reunite with Madam 'Know it All' and her mind reading sidekick."

"Edward," I whispered. "He could be a problem especially if Bella carried over any residual abandonment issues from her human life."

"Only one way to find out." He hitched his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the house. "Just give me and Char a few minutes to get out of the house."

"Come on," I said. "How bad could it be? This is Bella we're talking about."

"Exactly." He laughed and I felt his amusement again.

_Fuck me!_

"No! No! No!" She screamed, hurling the lamp across the room. "I won't go."

I ducked just as it passed by my head. _Fuck, she was fast!_

"Bella, it'll be good for you." I held my hands up as I walked toward her.

"I don't need to see _them_."

I stared at her for a few seconds, monitoring her emotions. Fear, stress, sadness, and abandonment were pouring off her. She carried it all with her to this new life. Of course she would, she never got a chance to resolve those issues. _Perhaps I should've taken her to see them before I turned her?_

"Don't make me go, Jasper," she begged. "I'm doing better. You know I can do this."

"They can help us," I said. "It might be good for you to visit with them and see how they hunt."

"I know how they hunt," she said. "Just like us."

"Tell me what the problem is." I grabbed her arm and pulled her against me, hoping my touch would assist her.

"I don't have a good feeling about going there."

"What?" I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "You're an empath now?"

"I don't have to be an empath to know. I remember what they did to me."

"It was a long time ago, Bella, and I've explained why we did what we did."

"They left." I felt her heartache.

"So did I, but you forgave me. As a matter of fact, you wouldn't leave me alone when I came back to Forks, remember? I couldn't get rid of you and, believe me, I tried."

"You came back." She gently kissed me. "You wanted me."

"You belong to me," I pressed my forehead to hers, "for all of eternity."

"We only need one another," she said. "I don't have a good vibe about this, Jasper. If we go there, something will change."

"Something could change for the better." I stroked her cheek. "I hate seeing you struggle this way. I'm helpless, Bella, and I don't like it."

"You're not helpless." She shook her head. "You're not."

"You're my mate. My responsibility. I have to make things right for you."

"You do." She tried to assure me. "You are."

"I'm failing and it's tearing at me from the inside. I can't rest until I know you are at peace."

"Taking me to the Cullens won't solve anything." She let go of me and paced the room. I could feel her determination. She wasn't going to relent.

I didn't want to argue with her, but I was her mate and, as much as I tried to treat her as my equal, I was also her creator. In the vamp world, the two strongest ties for a vampire were with their mate or their creator. I was both for Bella and I needed her to listen to me.

"I can't give you a choice."

"Excuse me?" She stopped and stared at me.

"We're leaving for Seattle tomorrow."

"Oh, are Peter and Char going with you?"

"What? No."

"So, then you'll be traveling alone?"

"Isabella!"

"Jasper!"

She was challenging me and if this wasn't so friggin' important, I would've been amused.

"Bella, why are you being so stubborn? You said you trusted me. Let me figure this out."

"Not like this," she insisted. "It's not what's right for us."

"How do you know?"

"I can't explain it, but you need to trust what I'm feeling."

I took her hand and pulled her toward me. I closed my eyes and tried to decipher her emotions. _God, she was all over the place._

"Stop it!" She pulled away from me. "I don't need you to monitor me now. Just listen to me."

I was frustrated and I hated when she pulled away from me. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"I can't live like this!"

Her head snapped up and her piercing red eyes looked directly into mine. I was almost afraid of her. "You can't live like this? Try being me."

"I was you, and I did _this _to you anyway."

"Don't you feel sorry for turning me. It was what I wanted. What I still want."

"I don't feel sorry, but I intend to make this right for you. For us. "

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine and I'm not living in denial anymore. I feel everything you do. And, because I love you, the emotions are magnified. Usually, when it's coming from other people, I can block them out, or at least try to, but not with you. We are connected in a way that even I didn't think was possible."

I plopped down on the bed and anxiously ran my fingers through my hair. How was I going to make her see she was living my life all over again? I wouldn't have wished that on anyone, much less the woman I would die for.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she ran her fingers through my hair too. "It must be horrible for you."

"I don't want you to worry about me."

"That's ridiculous. This mate thing, well, it works both ways."

I could feel how much she loved me. It took my breath away. No matter what we were going through, I could always feel the love. It was the strongest bond I'd ever felt between any human or vampire. I'd encountered vampires who were mated for centuries and they didn't have anything on me and Bella.

I took her face between my hands and whispered, "Please tell me why you don't want to go."

She shook her head.

"They helped me Bella," I reminded her. "I would've been lost without them."

"You stopped drinking from humans because of me. When you came back to Forks, you were feeding from humans."

"And, you were what ultimately saved me, but Alice sent me to you. She said I'd find what was missing. When I went to visit Alice and Edward in Alaska, she said I'd see her again when you were like us. I think she knew we'd need their assistance."

"Why can't she just tell us what we need to know?" I felt her anger. "Why do we all live at her mercy?"

"It's just her way. I know it's frustrating, but her gift isn't an easy one to deal with."

"Neither is yours, but you don't go around destroying people's lives."

"Neither does Alice."

"If she knew I belonged to you, she should've told us. Why did she allow you to take a snap at me that night? She made you go back to feeding from humans. She allowed Edward to believe I was his. She made him abandon me in the woods. And, I lost months of my life. Do you know what that did to Charlie?"

I could feel her sadness and distress over her human memories. She carried it all with her. She just did a really good job of pushing them far enough down that I couldn't feel them.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"And, you all left me. I was so attached to all of you. I loved them. What kinds of people do that? No one said goodbye."

She fidgeted with her hands, so I took them in mine.

"I can't face them." She looked down our joined hands. "It hurts."

_Resentment, why didn't I figure it out before?_ She didn't want to live like the Cullens because she hadn't forgiven them for leaving her.

"What we did was wrong, and I thought you had come to terms with it, but I should've realized what you thought you wanted as a human, wasn't necessarily what you needed as a vampire."

"I don't understand."

"The Cullens were your first experience with the vampire existence and as a human you thought it was the best way because your mind couldn't process us feeding from humans. You looked up to us and admired us. We were perfect in your eyes."

"You still are." She smiled and I remembered how she would've blushed if she were still human.

"When we left, we hurt you, but you came to terms with it when I came back. Even though you had no contact with anyone other than me, you still viewed them as the ideal vampires. But, now that you're one of us and you're dealing with everything that goes with being a vampire, you're seeing they weren't so perfect. None of us were, not even me."

"You think I resent them?"

"I know you do. You've only had a resolution with me. I thought that was all you needed because I was the one that caused them to leave in the first place. I should've taken you to them before I turned you. I should've let them resolve what they had done."

"Do you think if I go to them, I'll be able to come to terms with the animal diet?"

"It's worth a try."

Initially I thought taking Bella to the Cullens and having her observe their way of life would be an asset, but now I realized it may be vital for her to see them so she could move past what had happened between them. Maybe I was grasping at straws, but what other option did I have?

"You're everything to me," I said. "I'll do anything I can to make your existence better. Please tell me what to do."

I hadn't felt this desperate in years. I didn't realize how draining it would be to feel Bella's emotions. She was trying so hard to please me ever since she opened her red eyes, but she was so afraid of failing. She still felt guilty about her slip up in the park and then for asking me to feed from that young couple. Throw in her constant struggle with human blood and I was exhausted.

"You're worried." She ran her fingertip across my bottom lip and then leaned in and gently kissed me. "Can't you feel how happy I am with you?"

I nodded as I tucked her hair behind her ear.

"The rest doesn't matter," she said. "I have you."

"You'll always have me. I'll figure out how to get you through this." I slowly ran my tongue along her lips and then pressed my mouth against hers, pushing out all of my love for her.

"I'll go," she whispered. "I'll do it for you, Jasper."

I reached for the buttons of her shirt and quickly undid them. "You don't have to do that." I slipped the shirt from her shoulders and let out a strained groan when I saw she wasn't wearing a bra.

She took my hand and pressed it against her unbeating heart. "I can see what this is doing to you. We'll give this a try."

I trailed my hand down over her breasts and then gently traced her nipples. She closed her eyes and threw her head back. I pushed her down on the bed and lowered my lips to her nipples, licking and sucking as I reached under her skirt, pushing my fingers inside her moist swollen folds.

She twisted her fingers in my hair as she arched her back, offering me more of her breasts. I licked my way down her stomach and hiked up her skirt.

_No panties!_

"What about the feeling you have about something bad happening?"

"You're the empath," she moaned as I hovered over her throbbing pussy. "You would know better than me."

I lowered my mouth to her entrance and slowly ran the tip of my tongue along her slit. "Just for a couple of days." I licked her again and I felt her lust for me increase. "If it doesn't work, we'll leave and go away for a while, just the two if us."

"Yess…" she raised her hips off the bed."You're all I'll ever need. You'll see." She moved her body closer to my face, pushing against my mouth. I threw her legs over my shoulders and took as much of her as I could.

_I'll never tire of her taste._

She was so sweet and juicy. And her scent…it drove me wild. I fiercely licked and sucked her clit, slipping my fingers deep inside her core, working her with vamp speed.

"Jasper!" she cried as her thighs shuddered against my shoulders. Her hand slipped from my hair and dropped to the bed. She clawed at the comforter as she let go.

I continued to please her with my tongue knowing full well I'd be able to make her cum again, but I needed to be closer, so once I was satisfied she was coming down from her euphoric state, I tugged my shirt over my head. By the time I had it off, Bella was on her knees in front of me, pulling at my belt buckle.

"I love you," she whispered as she helped me out of my pants.

"I love you, too." I roughly kissed her lips as I stepped out of my clothes. "I need to be inside you."

She turned around and got on all fours before looking over her shoulder and smiling at me.

"Fuck." I whispered as I glanced at her pretty little pussy, dripping and waiting for me.

I moved behind her, gripped her hips and quickly slammed into her.

"Jasper!"

"Sorry, beautiful. I just couldn't wait."

"Fuck me hard…please!"

My vamp girl was hot. She took everything I gave to her and always wanted more. I pulled all the way out and pushed in over and over again. We could go like this for hours.

Bella pushed her body up until her back was flush against my chest. She grabbed my hands and moved them over her perfect tits. She growled when I squeezed each of them in my hands.

"That's so fuckin' sexy when you make that sound."

"I love feeling you inside me. It's amazing. God!"

"Cum on me!" I moaned. "Bella, I'm gonna…fuck!"

I slipped my hand down and pushed my fingers inside her hot sex and moved them in time with my cock. A few seconds later I collapsed on top of her back as I panted and gasped for air. I didn't need to breathe but she always managed to take it out of me. She sighed as I placed soft kisses along the back of her neck.

She rolled onto her back as I moved in next to her, pulling her against my body. She was happy and peaceful. _Why couldn't I keep her that way all the time?_

"I know you want to help me," she whispered. "I'll do what you ask, but you are all I'll ever need."

"And, you'll always have me. Just humor me."

"Seattle is a little way from Texas, isn't it?"

I felt her lust spike.

"It's a good ways, yes." I looked into her eyes. "What are you thinking?"

"That you'll make love to me under the stars every night. It'll just be the two of us for days, the way it was meant to be."

"I'll make love to you in every city from Texas to Washington, wherever and whenever you want."

"This is gonna be the best road trip I've ever taken, Major Whitlock."

"Darlin', you have no idea the things I'll show you."

*****Wish I was going on that road trip! Oh wait…I'm writing it!**


	26. Part II Chp 9

*****Thanks to everyone who read, tweeted, reviewed that last chapter. You all continue to blow me away!**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol for fixing my usual mistakes and to Lady Tazz for pre-reading.**

*****None of these characters are mine. I just like to play with them and do dirty things with them!**

_Bella_

Jasper and I stood on the porch as Peter and Char pulled up in a brand new, obnoxiously large pick-up truck. Jasper squeezed my hand and led me down to it.

"You like it? It's red." He smiled. "Just like your old truck."

"It's great, but what's it for?" I asked. "We have my SUV and your car."

"Yes, but," he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "this one is perfect for making love under the stars." He tapped on the open bed of the truck. "Very spacious."

I smiled at him. "You think of everything."

"I'm the one who went and got it since you two seem to be inseparable these days." Peter hopped out of the driver's side door. "Enjoy your forty minute shower this morning?"

"Shut it!" I laughed. "And, I believe we were in there for over an hour." I bit my lip and looked at Jasper. I was sure he could feel what I was thinking. It had been a very invigorating shower.

He smirked.

"Whatever, little one. Char and I left, so I lost track of your morning antics."

"Do you have to go?" Char asked as she came around to where we were standing and threw her arms around me. "I'm gonna miss you."

"We won't be gone that long." I hugged her back.

"How long?" she asked.

"As long as it takes," Jasper said as he pulled me from Char and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm looking forward to spending some time alone with my beautiful girl."

I turned my head, seeking out his lips. We kissed for a few seconds, but Peter pulled us out of our bliss.

"Can you take a break?" he asked.

"Hmm," I groaned against Jasper's lips. "If I pop up my shield, it'll be like he's not even here."

"Ahh, little one, you hurt my feelings." Peter laughed.

"Hardly." Jasper released me and shook Peter's hand. "We'll be home soon."

"You better be." Peter nodded.

"I'll miss you too," Jasper said as he reached for Char so they could say their goodbyes.

Peter stepped toward me. "You take care of him."

"Of course." I stared at Peter and he was more intense than usual. Something was off, I swore I felt it. "What's wrong?"

"Can't put my finger on it," he said as he watched Jasper.

"It doesn't feel right, does it?" Being Jasper's mate must have put me more in tune with my feelings because lately they were going crazy.

_I knew this was a bad idea._

"Would you two stop?" Jasper said. "If I can't_ feel_ it, neither can you. Bella, get in the car."

"Fine." I huffed before quickly kissing Peter and Char goodbye. As independent as I wanted to be, there was something about a dominant Jasper that made my insides jump and my panties wet. I couldn't help but obey when he told me to do something. Char said it was because he was my mate, but a little part of me liked when he ordered me around. He was sexy when he was authoritative, plus, I knew if I listened to him, I'd be rewarded later. "See you soon."

Jasper spoke quickly to Peter, but I still caught the gist of the conversation. Jasper was mad Peter said anything to me about us leaving. It bothered me that Peter was having some unresolved feelings about us making this trip.

"Don't be worried." Jasper pulled out of the driveway. "We're doing the right thing. You need resolution and this is the only way we're going to get it."

"But, Peter knows something. Why didn't you tell me?"

"He doesn't know anything concrete. And, we decided it's better for you to go then to stay home because of a feeling that none of us can pinpoint."

"And, Alice? Does she know we're coming?"

"I should think so." Jasper reached for my hand. "I haven't spoken to anyone other than Carlisle. Right now, he and Esme are the only two at the house."

"Emmett and Rosalie?"

"There was an accident in the South of France, where Rose and Em were hiking."

"Are they okay?"

"Yes." He squeezed my hand. "But, there was a fatal car wreck down by a road they were near. It was pretty isolated and Rose and Em were the only two there. They tried to help, but it was too late to turn any of the victims. Just as they were calling for help, Rose heard a child crying in one of the cars."

"Oh?"

"Emmett had to lift the car up and Rose crawled under and retrieved the little girl."

"Is she okay?"

"Yes, amazingly, she wasn't hurt. Unfortunately, her parents were killed in that crash and she has no one else. Carlisle investigated and it was determined she was an orphan."

"How horrible." If I could cry real tears for this baby's loss, I would.

"Yes, it was, but Rosalie became rather attached to this little girl and Carlisle moved heaven and earth to ensure that she was no longer an orphan."

"Emmett and Rose?" I asked.

"Yes, Lila Rose Cullen is the newest addition to the family. Rose and Em are in France tying up the final paperwork on the adoption."

"Vampires can raise a human child?"

"Of course," he said. "She's too young to know what we are and by the time she's eighteen, they'll be able to decide what's best for her. I'm sure Rose will want her for all of eternity. But, that's a ways off since she's only four."

"So, they get to have a baby?" I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. I knew it was wrong, because I chose this life and I knew the consequences. The things I'd give up. "That's great."

"Bella?" Jasper said. "We're going to have a full life, too. I know it's hard for you to think about the future when your present is so uncertain, but I promise, once you get through this newborn stage, it'll get easier."

I nodded.

"I think a talk with Carlisle will do you some good."

"And, Alice? Where is she?"

"I haven't spoken to Alice in a while, but Carlisle thinks she's headed to Seattle. She's eager to see us, well, mainly you."

"I don't know how I feel about that, Jasper." I needed to be honest. "She's never tried to contact me, not even when I became like you."

"I know, sweetheart. I don't understand why, but maybe if you saw her, you'd have the opportunity to hear her side of things."

I looked down at my lap, trying not to let my feelings get in the way, but it was too late. My empath already knew what I was feeling even before I did.

"It was wrong for them to leave you," he said. "I take responsibility for it."

"It wasn't your fault."

"In the beginning, maybe not, but after we got together, I took you to Texas and pretty much kept you isolated. And then, when I turned you, I still kept you to myself. I've been trying to do what's best for you, but maybe I keep you too sheltered."

"You want to protect me," I said. "I get that, but I don't know if seeing the Cullens again will be the reunion you're hoping for."

"It doesn't have to be a happy reunion. I just want you to have closure. I want you to see how fond Carlisle and Esme are of you. And, I want Alice to have a chance to explain things."

I understood what he was trying to do, but I still wasn't sure. Carlisle and Esme were always good to me, so I could allow them this visit. Rose and I were never friends, so it didn't make me sad that she wouldn't be there although I would've liked to have seen Emmett again. I thought Alice was my friend and maybe she was, but she would never mean to me than what Char did. Char and Peter could never abandon me. Jasper said it was because they were our coven and we were meant to stay with them for eternity. The bond between the four of us was unbreakable.

It was nice having that sense of belonging. Jasper gave me that, too.

I decided it was in the past. Whatever happened with the Cullens was over. I tried to tell myself it didn't matter anymore. I had Jasper and he was the only person I'd ever need. He was my other half, the love of my existence and whatever transpired between me and the Cullens had to happen in order for me to find Jasper. When they left, it tore my heart out, but the experience put me on the path to Jasper.

I smiled at him as he drove down the dark and winding road. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen, both inside and out. He was loving and caring. He always knew what I needed and when I needed it. He put me first, took care of me and made me feel special.

He glanced over at me and smiled. "I can feel all of that."

"Then you know how grateful I am to have you."

"I do because I feel exactly the same way."

I unbuckled my seatbelt, because I really didn't need it, and inched my way closer to him. I snuggled against his side and closed my eyes. I was calm and peaceful, and not because Jasper was intentionally manipulating me. He didn't have to. I just needed to be close to him and feel him against me.

It didn't matter what had happened when I was human. I realized whatever I endured when the Cullens came into my life was all the way it was supposed to be. It brought me to Jasper. All of it.

That day in the cafeteria, the biology lab, the van and …

_No!_

I sat up because I suddenly didn't feel tranquil anymore. How could I have blocked _him_ out? I thought about reuniting with Carlisle and Esme, seeing Rose and Emmet. I even thought about what I'd say to Alice. But, I never once let _him_ enter my thought process.

"Bella?" Jasper pulled off the main highway and parked on a deserted dirt road. He turned toward me and took my face between his face. "What is it? You were so calm and serene and now you're afraid and nervous. The anxiety coming off you is off the charts."

I shook my head and then backed away, pressing my body against the passenger door.

"Bella." Jasper moved toward me and tried to manipulate me, but I threw up my shield. I didn't even know why I did that but now that it was up, Jasper could no longer influence me with his gift. Whatever I was feeling was all mine. "You have to tell me what's wrong."

"Edward."

He closed his eyes and ran his palm along his jaw. "Yes, I was wondering when you were going to bring him up."

"I can't, I mean, I don't want…"

Jasper stared at me, looking deep into my eyes almost pleading with me. He looked worried.

"I can't assist you with your shield up," he sighed. "And, I want to touch you, so please drop it for me."

I nodded and mumbled, "Sorry," as I put it back down.

He opened his arms for me, so I crawled across the seat and settled against his body.

"I panicked," I felt really ridiculous.

"I know." He stroked my hair. "I was waiting for you to realize seeing Edward was a possibility. When I told you I wanted to take you to see the Cullens, you never asked about him and I didn't want to push you. When I found you back in Forks, you were healing and you were coming to terms with the fact that you weren't meant to be with him."

"The pull I felt for you was stronger. I didn't understand it at the time, but now we know it was because we were meant to be together."

He nodded. "When I went to see him in Alaska, you didn't want too many details, so I told you only what you needed to know, and I thought that was enough."

"It was," I agreed, "when I was human."

"Your human mind resolved what had happened, but your vampiric mind needs more of a conclusion. It's just the way _we_ process things."

"But, I'm still the same person, why is what happened three years ago affecting what I want now?"

"I don't know, but you were so adamant about sticking to the animal diet when you were human and even now you are showing much more restraint than any other newborn I've ever encountered, but something is blocking you from fully committing."

I twisted in his arms so I could look at him. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for this man and I knew he'd do the same for me.

"You have to trust me," he whispered. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it wouldn't help. Carlisle thinks I'm onto something and he has agreed to help you however he can."

"I'm here headed to the Cullens because you told me I should."

I crawled into his lap and straddled him as he pushed the seat back as far as it would go.

"I can handle Edward," I said.

"I know you can." He smiled. "You're stronger than him at the moment, so he should probably be the one panicking."

I laughed at the thought of me beating up Edward. _It could be fun!_

"My devious girl."

"He hurt me and he never should have left me the way he did, but everything happens for a reason. And, if he stayed with me out of pity or obligation, I never would've found you. I'd still be human and more importantly, I'd still be a virgin."

Jasper quietly laughed as he stroked my cheek. "Well, I took care of those details, but you're still nervous."

"I haven't seen them in three years. I'm not sure how I feel about them."

"They won't force you into feeling anything for them. They just want to help. They owe you that much."

I leaned forward and slowly ran my tongue along his bottom lip, savoring his taste. "I owe you so much."

"You don't owe me anything." He ran his fingers through my hair.

I trailed my lips down his jaw, stopping to kiss just behind his ear. He let out a soft laugh and it always cracked me up to discover my big, strong vamp was ticklish in various places, behind his ear being one of them.

_He was so freakin' cute!_

I continued my path along his neck, wiggling myself down his body and between his legs. I positioned myself on the floor of the very spacious truck.

"And what is it that you're doing?" He looked down at me with a wicked smile.

"As if you didn't know." I reached for his belt buckle. "Unless you don't want me to."

"I'm a guy. I want you to."

"Hmm…" I lowered his zipper.

He reclined the seat and then twisted his fingers in my hair, gently nudging me closer to where he wanted me to be. I quickly reached into his boxers and pulled out his more than eager cock. I licked my lips before swirling my tongue over his leaky tip.

"Bella…" he moaned.

Jasper loved sex. When I was human, I could hardly keep up although I tried my best. Now as a vampire, all I wanted to do was touch, lick, suck or fuck some part of his body.

I slid my mouth down his shaft making sure to scrap my teeth along his sensitive skin as I went. That was a skill I only recently mastered since becoming a venomous being. At first, Jasper didn't want my teeth anywhere near his precious cargo, but my skills quickly took over and he never complained again.

"So good…" he whispered as he moved my head up and down.

I licked the underside of his cock, moving my hand in between his legs to cup his balls. He rested his head against the seat and let me take over. I indulged in him for over an hour, taking pleasure in the sounds he was making and the way he tasted. Each time he released down my throat, I decided I needed to make him do it again.

"Bella…" He thrust his hips forward and shot his cool liquid into my mouth, violently jerking against my face. He tightened his grip on my hair as I continued to lick him clean. After a few minutes, he pulled me up into his lap. "Four times is more than enough. We're never going to get to Seattle if I let you keep that up."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. "I love doing that to you."

"I know." He laughed. "But, you're depleting me of everything I have."

"You want to hunt?"

"Do you?" I could hear the surprise in his voice because I didn't initiate the idea of hunting. He usually had to drag me out of the house and practically force feed me.

"Umm, yeah, I kinda do." I was surprised by it myself, but I was thirsty now and I could smell the deer off in the distance.

"Let's go." He slowly kissed me before adjusting his pants. "Thanks for the four times by the way. Now I owe you."

"Yes, and I intend on collecting under the stars."

"Then I'll definitely need to hunt if I'm gonna keep up with you."

"Then I suggest you hunt." I smiled as I pressed my lips to his. "You have a long night ahead of you, cowboy."

He pulled me out of the truck, flung me on his back and took off into the forest. There was nothing sexier than a very determined Jasper Whitlock!

*****Who wouldn't want a determined Jasper?**

*****It's that time of year again…I'm off on vacation so there won't be a post next week. My deepest apologies! But, I plan to get some writing done, so I'll be more than ready when I get back!**


	27. Part II  Chp 10

*****I'm back! Did you miss me?**

*****I want to say thank you all so much for your patience and support on this story. As many of you know, my RL has been crazy these past few months, but I try really hard to put out a creative and interesting update once a week. I write FF because I enjoy it, but mostly I do it for all of you. I've made so many friends and picked up lots of loyal followers over the past two years. I'm a sensitive soul and tend to get a bit upset when I'm questioned on the pace of my story. Just know that I don't fly by the seat of my pants and every chapter is well thought out and serves a purpose in getting us to the end. I need to tell the story the way it unfolds in my head. Okay…stepping down now. **

*****I still don't own it.**

_Jasper_

I rested my weight on my forearms as I pounded into Bella. She looked up and smiled at me. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. She was pretty, delicate and fragile as a human and my vampire mind had memorized every inch of the amazing girl she once was, but as a vampire, she was spectacular. And, she was all mine.

The girl was insatiable. Since becoming a vampire, I'd been with only two others and neither of them had anything on my girl and her stamina. At this rate, we were never going to get to Washington, and I was certain that was Bella's plan. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy spending all of this alone time with her, but the longer we delayed our arrival the longer Bella went without the closure I was now convinced she needed.

Bella wrapped her legs around my waist and softly let go as she dug her fingers into my shoulders.

"You're beautiful when you come." I leaned down and sprinkled kisses along her neck. A few seconds later I was following in her bliss. I collapsed down next to her, but I could feel her disappointment over the loss of our connection.

"Bella?" I pulled her onto my chest. "We've been doing this for three hours. We've been naked since we pulled into Oregon. At some point we have to put our clothes back on."

"But, I'm not tired."

"You'll never be tired."

"I know." She giggled. "Isn't it wonderful?"

I slowly kissed her lips. She was happy and it pleased me so much to see her smile.

"Your emotions have shifted since we left Texas. You're less stressed and I don't feel all of that anxiety coming from you. You're progressing in your new life."

"I love my life."

"As do I." My time with Bella was the happiest I'd ever been in my existence. "It took me a long time to get to this place." I briefly thought about my beginning in this life. It was difficult and it took me decades to figure out my course.

"I know, baby." She ran her fingers over the scars on my chest, almost as if she knew exactly what I was feeling. I must have been projecting. "I'm lucky to have found you so quickly."

"So, are you ready to head to Seattle now? It's taken us much longer than it should have."

"Don't we have an eternity?"

"Yes, but Carlisle is headed back to France soon, so I'd like to get to him before he leaves."

"Okay." She sat up and pulled on her jeans.

"That was easy. What'd I miss?"

"You're right. It's time to get this done with, but when we're finished, you promise we'll travel more before going back to Texas? I know you don't think I'm ready to be around people yet, but I like seeing all the back roads, forests, streams and paths. I want to explore more with you. It's kind of fun living off the land."

I sat up and threw on my shirt. "You want to be a nomad?"

"For a little while." She finished getting dressed. "Char said it was cool when she and Peter roamed the country. She said it was the closest they'd ever felt to one another."

"Yeah, Peter always tried to get me to go with him, but Alice wasn't having any of it."

"Alice, out in nature?" She giggled. "Did you really think that was gonna happen?"

"That's why you're my mate and she's not." I scratched at the stubble on my face. "Well, it is kinda nice not havin' to shave every day."

"And, it really has been the best sex we've ever had."

"Yeah." I laughed. "You are a nature girl, I'll give you that."

"So, can we do it? Travel for a while?"

She was so excited about this. How could I say no? Plus, she didn't seem to be struggling at all with our diet since we'd been out in the countryside. Maybe this was exactly what she needed.

"I like it." I squeezed her closer to me. "Just the two of us."

"In our own little bubble." She engulfed us in her shield. "Just the way it was meant to be."

I noticed as the days went on, she was able to keep it up for longer periods of time and I couldn't manipulate her feelings while she was inside. That bothered me because it was the only time I didn't feel as if I was a part of her.

A day later, we were pulling into the Cullen driveway. Bella nervously bit her bottom lip. It was a human trait she didn't do often anymore, but it reminded me of who she used to be. I took her hand in mine and sent her some calming vibes.

"I'll be with you the whole time."

She nodded.

"I would never let anyone hurt you." I pushed the hair from her face. "Not ever."

"I know," she whispered as she leaned into my lips. "Just stay with me."

"Of course."

As we got out of the car and walked up the walkway, Carlisle greeted us on the front porch. He smiled at us, but I felt his caution as we approached. He didn't want to startle Bella.

"He's happy you're here," Bella mumbled.

"How did you—" Before I could finish, Carlisle came down the steps, stopping directly in front of us. Bella tightened her grip on my hand.

"Jasper, Bella," he softly spoke. "How have you been?"

"Hello, Carlisle." I wanted to extend my hand to shake his, but Bella wouldn't let go of mine. She was anxious and uncertain. "We're great. We had a really good trip from Texas." I pushed out some tranquility in Bella's direction.

Carlisle felt the effects of it because he nodded at me before turning his gaze toward Bella.

"Bella," he said. "You're breathtaking."

"Thank you," she whispered. "It's been a long time."

"It has been." I felt Carlisle's regret.

"Don't feel so bad," Bella said. "You had your reasons for staying away."

"We did," Carlisle said. "And, at the time we thought we were doing the right thing by leaving Forks, but we now know how wrong we were. We've known for some time, and we all regret what we did."

"All of you?" Bella asked.

He nodded. "You have to understand, at the time, we weren't used to dealing with a human. You were so new to our world. We thought leaving was the best thing we could do for you because it was too dangerous for you. You had already been attacked by James and seriously hurt and then there was the incident on your birthday."

I felt sick when Carlisle relived that night.

Bella squeezed my hand and I could feel how much she loved me. It was as if she knew what I was feeling in that moment, but she couldn't possibly know the guilt I felt over trying to hurt her.

"Bella," he said. "We didn't mean to hurt you."

"I understand." She let go of me and threw her arms around Carlisle. "I've missed you."

I felt Carlisle's shock over Bella's sudden movement. I could feel how remorseful Carlisle was and I felt his regret, and I had planned on projecting it on to Bella later so she could feel what Carlisle really meant. It didn't appear she needed me to.

Esme came out of the house and pulled me into a hug. "I've missed you so much." She let go of me after a minute or so, and slapped my shoulder. "Don't you ever leave us for that length of time again."

"Sorry, Mom." I smiled. "I missed you too."

She smiled and then looked at Bella. Her maternal instincts kicked in and it was as if they hadn't been apart at all.

"Esme." Bella smiled. "I want to hug you too."

Esme pulled Bella into her arms and stroked the back of her hair.

Bella collapsed against Esme and I felt how relieved they both were. Bella hadn't had a motherly connection in a long time. She craved Esme's love and affection. I had a strong feeling she needed Carlisle and Esme to help her through this confusing time.

Esme pulled back slightly so she could look into Bella's eyes. "You're feeding regularly. I can tell by the golden outline in your eyes."

"Jasper keeps me well feed," Bella said. "We've hunted a lot these past few days. It was the easiest it's ever been for me. Jasper's proud of me."

It was true. I was proud, but I hadn't told her that lately.

"He should be very proud of you. You're an amazing creature and the two of you look so happy together." Esme smiled. "I'm so glad you found each other."

"We are too." I smiled as I took Bella's hand in mine again. "Bella was exactly what I needed. She grounds me. I've never felt this at ease before."

"I love him so much," Bella said. "I didn't think I could ever feel this—"

"Jazz!" Alice called as she came from the direction of the yard.

Bella moved as close as she could to me and instinctually wrapped her arms around my waist. I felt her possessiveness for me.

"Bella," I whispered. "It's okay."

"No." She held me tighter and just as Alice approached, Bella put up her shield surrounding both of us.

"What is that?" Esme asked.

"It's remarkable." Carlisle cautiously approached. "Very interesting."

"Why did she put it up for me?" Alice asked and I felt her confusion. "I didn't see that coming."

"She's guarding her mate," Carlisle answered.

"From me?" Alice burst out in a fit of laughter.

Bella shifted her body slightly behind mine and dropped her shield. I didn't know if it was an accident or not that she let it down, but now she was embarrassed.

"The gift is very new to Bella," I said. "And, with her still being a newborn, her emotions are all over the place. She saw you approach and she wasn't sure how to react. It wasn't something she planned."

"Oh," Alice said as she moved closer to us. "Sorry, Bella, if I confused you, but I promise you, I don't want him." She looked in my direction. "He's way too much work, even for me."

Bella let out a loud laugh before placing her hand over her mouth, trying to contain her amusement.

"Are you two finished? I am standing right here." I said as Carlisle and Esme snickered.

"Sorry, sweetie," Alice said. "But you know it's true. I did the best I could with you."

"You were no walk in the park either." I pulled her into a hug. I could feel how much she missed me. The feeling was mutual. Alice was a huge part of my life for such a long time, and she ultimately led me to my true destiny. I'd always be grateful to her.

Once we let go of one another, I turned and stared at Bella. She was watching Alice and me so intently. It was as if she got what we were to one another. I didn't expect that from her so soon. This reunion was going much smoother than I ever thought it could.

"Bella," Alice said. "How are you?"

"I'm good." She smiled at me and I could feel how much she loved me.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right away for the way I left you. It was stupid of me and I was trying to let things play out the way I saw them. I know you suffered for that, but I hope you see why I did it. You and Jasper needed to find one another separate from all of us."

Bella nodded. "I can try to see things your way. I know you feel bad."

I studied Bella's reaction and emotions when it came to Alice. It was as if Bella was getting what Alice was trying to say before Alice even said it. It was something I was also able to do because I could feel what a person was about to think or say through their emotions.

_How was Bella doing it?_

She was cautious when it came to Alice. Bella's acceptance of Carlisle and Esme came much faster, but I knew it would come eventually with Alice. Bella loved her too; she just needed time to get over the past. I also knew Bella felt awkward about the two of us being together now. It was unsettling for her to be in the presence of the woman I'd been married to for so many years. It was a strange situation, but Bella and I were meant to be and Alice got that better than any of us.

As the girls headed inside the house, Carlisle stopped me on the steps.

"You didn't tell me Bella possessed your gift."

"I didn't realize it until we got here. I don't think she even knows what she's capable of doing. Have you seen this before?"

"No, I've never seen a creator pass on his gift to his creation. It could be because you're mates as well. You're very deeply intertwined with one another."

I smiled as I watched Bella. She was settling in and she felt more comfortable once we were in the house. Her empath abilities definitely helped when it came to reuniting with my family. Even if she didn't realize it, she was able to forgive them much easier because she could feel their sincerity.

Bella was laughing as Alice picked the leaves out of her hair. Our road trip got a bit messy and I personally couldn't wait to hit the shower. Maybe we'd be rethinking our nomadic way of life. Perhaps Bella would allow us to get a hotel room every few days to shower and make love in a comfortable bed.

"You two are disgusting." Alice looked us over. "Is that dirt?" She wiped my cheek. "Didn't your hotel have a shower?"

"We lived out of the truck the whole way here," Bella proudly stated. "We had so much fun."

"Yeah, it looks it."

Carlisle laughed. "Alice, leave them alone."

"Bella, a jean skirt and cowboy boots might have been proper in Texas, but tomorrow we're going shopping."

I cleared my throat and Alice glanced at me.

"Jasper doesn't think I'm ready to go out in public yet." Bella said. "I've had a few mishaps."

"Internet shopping," Alice confirmed. "Your boyfriend is rich so we can spend lots of money."

I rolled my eyes. "Bella can have whatever she wants."

"She wants a new dress, stilettos and maybe a new bag." Alice winked at Bella.

"And, this has nothing to do what you want?" I asked.

"Look at your girl! Leaves in her hair and God knows where else she has dirt and twigs, knowing you! I saw a little of your x-rated road trip."

"Oh!" Bella gasped and I felt her embarrassment.

"Bella," Alice said. "You're a mess!"

"I think she looks stunning," Edward said from the doorway as he smiled at her.

Bella backed away, slamming right into my chest. As she reached for my hand she tripped over my foot. She was hardly the graceful vampire I'd brought with me. Now she seemed more like the girl who'd fallen head over heels in love with Edward Cullen several years ago.

_Wonderful!_

*****Hmm…**

*****So, I've been a non-canon girl for over two years, and I'm happy to announce that I've been nominated for several Hopeless Romantic Awards (awards dedicated to stories that don't focus on E/B). I'm up for Best Writer, Best Original Character (Claudia), and Best Kid (Cullen). But, the two I'm most proud of are… Best Jasper (Innocence Lost and The Path to My Soul). I've been writing him for a long time and can I be so bold as to say I think I know him better that his creator? lol**

**If you like what I've been doing, please lend me your support and vote I'd really appreciate it! The link is on my profile page and voting begins on 7/18/11.**


	28. Part II Chp 11

*****Thanks again to all of you who are reading and commenting. It means so much to me! Keeps me very motivated!**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol for beta reading and Lady Tazz for pre-reading. **

*****There seems to be a little confusion with this story…a few of you have asked me when I'll start posting Part II. You are reading Part II as we speak and you have been for the past ten chapters. I didn't start it as a new story. I just continued it here. Hope that clears things up.**

*****I don't own it.**

_Bella_

Things were going well with Carlisle and Esme. I couldn't believe how easily I fell back in love with them. I'd missed them so much. Surprisingly, I wasn't as mad at Alice as I thought I was. We weren't going to just all of a sudden fall back into being the best of friends or even the sisters we once talked about, but after seeing her, it wasn't so bad. I realized eternity was entirely too long of a time frame to go through it holding grudges. It took too much energy and I was too happy with Jasper to let anything sour those feelings.

I could feel every emotion emitting from their words. They were so sincere, genuine and apologetic. It was as if I was experiencing everything they were trying to tell me first hand. I had such a clear picture of everything. They didn't even have to explain why they left. I just felt it. Jasper must have been projecting their feelings onto me. I had no other way to explain it. He must have wanted me to experience how much I meant to all of them.

_How perfect was he?_ He was doing everything in his power to make sure I could get through this. I'd have to thank him properly when we were alone. I quickly glanced at him and smiled. As much as I like this change of scenery, I knew in my heart Jasper was all I'd ever want or need. For the first time since waking up into this new world, I felt secure and finally knew what I wanted.

All was going well. Alice had even slipped back into her Nazi personal shopper mode and wanted to get me a whole new wardrobe. Esme was making sure I was properly fed and Carlisle wanted to have some alone time with me to discuss my dietary choices. There was so much being thrown at me at once, but my new mind gave me the ability to process it all so quickly. Jasper was right, eventually I'd learn how to focus and concentrate on more than one thing at a time. In the few minutes I'd been here, it all seemed to come together.

I was settling down and finally relaxing. I was glad we came. Jasper was right about that too, I needed to see them. I needed to resolve the abandonment issues so I could move forward. I honestly felt there was nothing standing in my way. Until…

"She wants a new dress, stilettos and maybe a new bag." Alice winked at me.

"And, this has nothing to do what you want?" Jasper asked.

"Look at your girl! Leaves in her hair and God knows where else she has dirt and twigs, knowing you! I saw a little of your x-rated road trip."

"Oh!" I hated knowing Alice could see every dirty detail of my life with Jasper.

"Bella," Alice said. "You're a mess!"

Just as I was about to defend my appearance, I sensed him swirling around in the foyer. He was ominous and cautious all at the same time. I could feel his protectiveness of me. _Why would Jasper project those feelings onto me?_

"I think she looks stunning." Edward smiled at me from the doorway. He hadn't changed at all in the past three years. He was just as beautiful as ever. My vampire mind allowed me to recall in sickening detail everything we'd shared when I was human. I could smell the fresh flowers in the meadow, feel the way the rain sprayed my face while we walked into school, and how I felt when I looked into his eyes for the very first time.

I backed away because I wanted to get closer to Jasper, but I ended up smacking into his chest. As I reached for his hand I tripped over his foot. _Some vampire I was._

Jasper pulled me against his body, relaxed me with his touch and whispered into my ear. "I promised not to let anything happen to you, remember?"

I nodded.

"Just do what you've been doing. Feel your way through this."

"Don't stop helping me."

"Bella, I'm not assisting you as much as you think I am."

"What?" I didn't understand, but before I had time to question him, Edward was standing directly in front of us.

"Edward," Jasper said. "How have you been?"

"I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

"We're getting there." He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Aren't we, Bella?"

I nodded. I was having a hard time finding my voice. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to say to him. So much time had passed between us and I literally wasn't the same person he'd left behind.

"Hello, Bella," Edward quietly spoke. "I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'm leaving for the evening. I just wanted to see you. I hope you enjoy your stay."

He was always so polite and proper. It reminded me of the day he left me in the woods. He was so refined and courteous that day too.

"Edward?" Esme walked toward him. "Do you have to leave?"

"Yes." He continued to stare at me. "Alice and I thought it might be best if we gave Jasper and Bella their space tonight. They've had a long trip and I'm sure Bella is feeling out of sorts being away from her home."

"That's very thoughtful of you," Jasper said.

I could feel Jasper's apprehension. _Again, why would he project that on to me?_

I inched even closer to him and if it were physically possible, I would have crawled right inside him. I had to fight the urge to keep my shield down. I didn't know why but I wanted to put it up to keep everyone out. That strange feeling returned; the one I'd had when Jasper suggested we come here. Something was about to change.

"Relax," Jasper whispered into my hair.

Edward smiled at me and said, "Maybe when you're a little more settled we can talk."

"Sure," I finally managed to speak. "It's probably a good idea."

He smiled and I felt the relief coming from him. "Are you ready, Alice?"

"Yes!"

"Why so excited?" I asked.

Jasper laughed.

"What?" I turned to look at him.

"Nothing." He smiled and I so wanted to lick his lips. "I'm not used to you asking questions about other people's emotions, is all. I've been alone with this for so long."

"What do you mean?"

"We'll discuss it later." He looked at Alice. "So, where are you two going?"

"We're exploring a new section of the forest tonight."

"Alice has seen it in a vision and she can't wait to check it out. It has all these caves that the stream runs through." Edward headed for the front door. "I'm sure it'll be a real adventure."

I could feel how desperate Edward felt, but I think I'd lose my mind too if I had to spend the next twelve hours listening to Alice ramble on while we were stuck in a cave.

_Strange. How was I doing this?_

"It's all so beautiful," Alice said. "Maybe when you two are settled you can come with us?"

"We'll see," Jasper said. "We don't plan on staying very long. Bella and I have plans to travel some more before returning to Texas."

"Well, don't leave before I can fix Bella's wardrobe." She laughed. "We'll see you guys tomorrow."

Esme walked them to the front door as Carlisle approached us. He'd been unusually quiet since we came into the house. I felt his curiosity.

"Jasper, you can stop projecting now. I understand how much they miss and love me, but I don't want to feel every emotion from every person all the time. I honestly don't know how you do it. It would drive me batty."

Carlisle softly chuckled.

"Yeah, darlin', about that." Jasper pulled me over to the sofa and placed me in his lap. "It seems as if I gave you a little more than my venom when I turned you."

"What?"

"It appears you may have some empathic abilities." He smiled and I could feel how proud he was.

_Oh my God! I could feel what he was feeling!_

Carlisle came and sat beside us. "Do you understand what Jasper is telling you?"

"All the emotions I felt coming from everyone since we arrived here I was feeling on my own? You didn't project them?"

Jasper shook his head. "It was all you."

"How? Why all of a sudden?" I asked. "Didn't you know as soon as you woke up?"

"I did," he said. "But, not all of us are the same. It took you a few weeks to figure out you had a shield."

"Bella," Carlisle said. "When we first become like this, we have so much to deal with. You're still trying to find your way and gifts can develop over time. I'm sure when you woke up you were an empath, but because Jasper is in the habit of manipulating you; you probably didn't realize when it was you or when it was him. That will be something you'll both have to work on now."

"I'm like you?" I looked into Jasper's eyes trying to focus on exactly what he was feeling.

"Very much like me." He gently kissed my lips. "I knew you belonged to me."

I smiled as I settled into his chest, cuddling and relaxing as his fingers worked their way through my hair.

"It was a good thing we came here," Jasper whispered against my temple.

"I agree," Carlisle said. "You may have needed to come out of your element for your gift to manifest. You were probably too used to Jasper, Peter and Charlotte to even realize something was different about you."

"I'm glad you got to see for yourself that nothing bad was going to happen." Jasper continued to play with my hair and if I were still human, I'd be falling asleep in his lap. Carlisle and Jasper continued to talk as I took in the fact that I had a new gift. I knew how much Jasper struggled with his ability early on in this life and I wondered if I'd experience the same difficulties. Perhaps now that we were in this together, we'd find a way to help one another with it. I knew Jasper could help me, but I wanted to be able to assist him if I could.

I thought back to everything I'd felt and experienced since becoming a vampire. In the beginning I was a train wreck. My own emotions were all over the place, so I wasn't paying much attention at all to anyone else around me. I know I didn't know how to use my ability when I attacked Austin because I didn't feel any fear coming from him. And, when I approached the two bikers, I never felt anything coming from them either. In both cases the only thing that was prominent was my thirst and how I was going to quench it.

Thinking back on all of my time as a newborn, the only nagging feeling I ever had was when I thought about coming here.

_Oh!_

I jumped off Jasper's lap.

"Bella?" I felt his concern.

_Wasn't there any way to turn this thing off?_

"What is it?" Carlisle was just as worried as Jasper.

"My feeling," I said. "You told me it was nothing, but if I'm like you, then it was something."

"Huh?" Jasper ran his fingers through his hair trying to make sense over what I was saying.

"And, Peter," I reminded him. "He knew something was wrong too. We have to go."

"Bella?" Carlisle said. "You have to explain what the problem is. Are you feeling something right now?"

"No, but before." I looked at Jasper. "Something is going to change between us. Please, Jasper, you have to listen."

"I am." He stood up and pulled me against him.

"Jasper?" Carlisle pleaded as Esme came back into the room and stood by his side. "What is this about?"

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Bella had a feeling if we came here something would happen. Just before we left, Peter agreed with her, but he couldn't substantiate it with anything and we thought the benefits of seeing all of you again would far outweigh these second senses. I think they have."

"I think we should go," I said. "Before it's too late."

"You feel nothing now," Jasper said. "And, I've never picked up anything negative."

"I agree with Jasper," Carlisle said. "Why don't the two of you go to your room, get cleaned up and talk about it. If things don't seem right in the morning then you can leave."

"Will that be okay with you, Bella?" Jasper asked.

I nodded.

"I'd like for us to try and discuss what you're feeling."

"Carlisle and I will go out for the evening." Esme smiled. "You two will have the house to yourselves."

"You don't have to leave your home for us," I said. "We don't want to be any trouble."

"It's not a problem." Carlisle took my hand. "Take tonight to figure this out and I'd still like to speak with you tomorrow."

"Okay," I whispered. "Thank you."

Carlisle and Esme left for the night, so Jasper went to retrieve our bags from the car and then we headed upstairs.

"We know how to clear out a house, huh?" He smiled as he took my hand. "You made tremendous progress tonight."

"I know."

"I know you're worried, but don't be."

"I can't overlook what I felt before, not now that I'm an empath."

"And, I don't want to discount it, but we're stronger than ever. I was able to pass on my gift to you. If that doesn't prove we're meant to be together nothing will."

"I know who I belong to, but…"

"Shh, beautiful," he whispered as he led me into the bathroom. "Take a shower with me and then we'll discuss anything you want."

"I'm being silly?"

"No, of course you're not." He pulled my tank over my head and then turned on the faucet before removing his own shirt. "This gift I've given you isn't an easy one, and it takes years to get used to. I'll help you any way I can."

"Thanks." I slipped off my pants and headed toward the shower, but Jasper stopped me and pulled me against his naked chest. I loved being able to feel his skin against mine.

"I love you," he whispered against my lips. "You were amazing today, even when Edward appeared."

"I didn't expect him so soon."

"Me either, but he wants to respect your space."

"I felt that, and now that I can feel his emotions, I think I'm ready to talk to him. I want to be able to leave here knowing we tied up any loose ends and we can just go forward from here."

"Sounds like a plan." He smiled as he pulled me into the huge shower stall. "Now let me wash your back." He shot me a wicked grin.

This was going to be a long shower. I could feel it!

*****Sorry, but a lemon is juicier in JPOV or at least I think so;)**

*****We'll get to the Edward/Bella conversation…I'm working out a sequence of events, so stick with me.**

*****Also, I wrote a Carlisle/Bella oneshot called A Man Above All Else for an author's compilation a few months back. I'm free to post it on 8/1, so if you'd like to see what I can do with Big Daddy C, please add me to author alert and you'll have the goods in your inbox on Monday!**


	29. Part II Chp 12

_*******_**Thanks to all of you who read, reviewed and added me to alert! You guys are perfect!**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol for beta'ing and Lady Tazz who pre-read.**

*****Didn't I say something last week about a lemon in JPOV?**

_Jasper_

I stepped out of the shower stall, wrapped a towel around my waist and then extended my hand to assist Bella. I gently dried her off and then draped a towel over her gorgeous body. She smiled at me the entire time.

"I feel how satisfied you are." I stroked her cheek.

"You have a way of doing that for me."

"You're happy." I'd been waiting to feel happiness as her predominant emotion since she woke up. It wasn't as if she was always sad, but she was unhappy more than I would've liked her to be.

"So are you. I know."

"Yes, you do, don't you?" I led her into the bedroom and pulled her onto the bed with me. "How do you feel about that?"

"How do I feel about being an empath?" She thought for a few seconds and then smiled. "It's different. I'm not exactly sure how you do it."

"It takes some getting used to, but you're incredibly special. I know you'll be just fine."

"You have to say that," she said. "I'm still stronger than you."

"Just barely." I flipped her over and rolled on top of her. I pushed the hair from her face and stared at her for a few minutes.

"What is it?"

"Your eyes are beautiful." I leaned down and slowly kissed her. "They're more golden today than they've ever been."

"Do they suit me?"

"I think so." I continued to kiss her as she tugged at my towel. I could feel how intense her need for me was, but it was different than before. There was a clarity between us that wasn't present in Texas. She desired me but not because she needed me to fill a void or make something disappear. Now she wanted me just because she wanted me. It was a nice change.

I allowed her to remove my towel as I opened hers in the front, revealing that perfectly sexy body to me. "Fuck, Bella. You are the most amazing woman I've ever seen."

"I can feel how much you want me. How do you handle that? I'm horny for you all the time."

"Tell me about it." I laughed as I moved my lips over her breasts. "Why do you think we have sex so much?"

"I thought it was because you loved it so much." She spread her legs, causing the scent of her arousal to fill the air between us.

"It's you I love, but the sex is a great perk." I moved my mouth down the center of her stomach. "You smell too good to resist."

"Hmm…"

"I need a little taste."

"You can have more than a little. I can handle it."

I smiled against her stomach and then gradually moved my mouth to her hot little sex. Her scent drove me wild. I spread her lower lips open and slowly ran my tongue along her folds. _So sweet._

She bucked her hips against my face and tangled her fingers in my hair as I took my time French-kissing her clit. After a few minutes her lust was at a boiling point. She was so full of desire I couldn't get enough of her. I moved my hands under her cheeks and pushed her closer to my face, moving my tongue at vamp speed.

"Stop!" she cried out.

_Did she just tell me to stop?_

She squirmed and tugged on my hair.

I looked up at her with my best 'what the fuck?' expression.

"I want to taste you too." She smiled. "I need you in my mouth."

"Woman!" I rolled us onto our sides and repositioned myself so she was now level with my more-than-happy cock. "You're gonna be the death of me."

She softly giggled, her breath caressing my balls and then she wasted no time taking me all the way into her very capable mouth.

"Damn!" _I was one lucky old vamp._

We continued to lick and suck for what seemed like hours, and it very well may have been hours as time stood still when I was with Bella. She was the only thing that existed in my world when we were together. I could focus on pleasuring her over and over again and I usually did.

"That was incredible." She licked my tip clean before kissing her way up my thighs and back up my body. I was already rock hard by the time she straddled me, quickly impaling herself on my cock.

"Jasper," she softly cried. "Slow, I want it slow. Need to feel every inch of you."

I gently gripped her hips and moved her up and down, guiding her over me at a tortuously slow pace. She threw her head back and indulged in the sensation we were creating. She was so wet I could feel her dripping down my cock and over my balls.

"Let go for me, baby. Let me make you feel good." I trailed one hand down her stomach and pressed my fingers inside her, filling her completely as I massaged her clit.

"Jas…" She closed her eyes and then collapsed on top of me. She continued to move against me as she quietly let go. Her climax was much softer this time but her strength always gave her away. Her muscles clamped down on me, forcing me to spiral out of control.

I rolled her onto her back and released as fiercely as I had the first time. There was something about releasing deep inside my mate that always threw me over the edge. I dropped down on top of her and took a few unnecessary steadying breaths before I moved onto my side, pulling her against my chest.

"Bella, beautiful, if I were human, I swear you'd kill me."

"I was human and I managed to keep up with you."

"Very true, but you were insatiable back then too, remember?"

"Vaguely." I felt her disappointment.

"What's wrong?"

"My human memories, I think they're starting to fade."

"I'm sorry, darlin', but it's gonna happen. The longer you live, the less memories you'll have of your past life."

"I don't remember much of my childhood anymore. The other day, I tried to remember Renee and it seemed more like a dream. I have such an amazing memory for everything else, but not my human life. Our time together is clearer, but Charlie's not so vivid anymore and neither is Jake."

"Your time with me is some of the last memories you had as a human and I'm very familiar to you because I'm all you know as a vampire. I created you, so it's just easier for you to remember me. I'm sorry about your parents, but it's probably better that way."

"Not for them," she whispered.

"I know, beautiful, and I wish there was something I could do about that but Volturi law forbids us from exposing what we are. I have to insist you keep our secret. It's the only way I can protect you."

"I know," she said. "I just feel bad I can't remember them the way I want to and soon they'll realize that I'm not coming back."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"It kinda is."

"I wanted this life," she said. "I wanted you." I felt how true that was. "You know what's strange?"

"Stranger than being a vampire?" I laughed.

"Just a few days ago, I could remember what had happened between me and the Cullens. All the pain I felt when they left me, but after seeing them, those memories faded too. Almost in a matter of hours. How can that be?"

"Maybe it was the closure you needed?"

"And, Edward," she said. "As soon as I saw him, every memory came rushing back. It all flashed before my eyes and then it was gone. What's happening?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "I guess your mind allowed you those memories but, because they're not as important, you're losing them. You don't need to carry them with you. You'll still be able to remember things or people, but you may not remember specific details. Like my mother, for instance, when I smell vanilla I think of her. I don't know why, maybe that was her scent. I have a harder time remembering my siblings. I know I had them, but I don't remember what they look like anymore. The older I get, the harder it becomes."

"So this is normal?"

I nodded.

"Edward wants to apologize, I felt that, but I don't know if he needs to. Whatever he did to me doesn't matter because I'm not that girl anymore. I was human when he hurt me and now I barely remember what he was to me. I know who he is and just like the other Cullens, I want to get to know him because I'm one of you now."

"It's the sense of a coven you are feeling. Sometimes it's natural for our kind to want to bond with others like us, especially because Carlisle is so welcoming. It was what drew Alice here in the first place. And, now that you're an empath you feel more deeply than others of our kind. The Cullens are filling the void you're losing when it comes to Renee and Charlie."

I was relieved her memories of Edward were fading. That was a history she didn't need to carry with her for the rest of eternity, but I knew Edward and I knew he would need his chance to make this right or he was going to brood over what had happened between them for all of eternity. He was already emo enough and I couldn't put Esme and Carlisle through that kind of hell. They were too good to me through the years.

"I think you should allow Edward his say," I said. "Let's just get it all in the past and then you and I can move forward. You've made more progress in these past few hours than I ever could have thought possible. You're calm and content and you seem to have a clearness about you that I've never felt with you, not even when you were human."

"As long as I have you by my side, I'll always be this content. And, you haven't been wrong about us before so if you think talking to Edward is still the right thing to do then I'll trust you."

"I appreciate that."

"You're my mate, the man I love and want to spend eternity with. If I can't trust you then who can I trust?"

I traced her bottom lip with my thumb. "I don't know how I got so lucky." I know I said that a lot, but it was true. I didn't deserve her.

"I kept torturing you, remember?"

"That you remember, huh?"

"You kept telling me to leave."

"But you kept coming back. It was very irritating. My annoying little human."

"You wanted me to come back. You liked touching me."

"You kept tempting me. How about that stunt you pulled the night Peter and Char showed up in Forks?"

"Oh." She smiled and I felt how proud she was over what she had done to me. "I lured you right to me."

"You had no idea how dangerous that could have been." I crawled on top of her and pinned her hands to the mattress. "I could have drained you." I pressed my lips to her neck and gently scraped my teeth against her skin.

"That wasn't what you wanted to do to me at the time." She thrust her hips upward and brushed against my cock.

I smirked as I moved against her just like I did when she was human. I closed my eyes and tried hard to stop myself from pushing inside her. I wanted to savor the moment. All of a sudden her body tensed and I could feel her anxiety.

"What?" I looked around the room and then I smelled them. _What were they doing here?_

Her head snapped in the direction of the window. "Jasper? What do I do?" Panic was her dominant feeling. It was suffocating us both.

"Leave the shield down so I can assist you if need be." I stroked her cheek and calmed her down. "It'll be okay."

"I'll try," she whispered.

I could feel her determination, but her thirst was so overpowering. It was making my own throat burn. I had to stay focused and get Bella where she needed to be.

"It's Rose and Emmett." I quickly got up off the bed and threw on my clothes. I monitored her emotions, but they were all over the place. She was worried and struggling to keep herself under control. She stood perfectly still on the bed, but she was coiled so tightly as if she'd pounce at any second.

"Bella? Did you hear me? It's Rosalie and Emmett."

"And, Lila." She swallowed back the venom as she stared at me with vacant black eyes.

*****For those of you who aren't paying attention, Lila is the little girl Rose and Em adopted. And, you were worried about the mailman! lol**


	30. Part II Chpt 13

*****Thanks again for the response to the last chapter. I'm glad you're enjoying the story.**

*****Thanks to Twicarol for beta reading and Lady Tazz for pre-reading. It makes my life easier!**

_Bella_

I sat up and took my clothes from Jasper. He was so calm. _How did he stay so focused?_

"Why don't you get dressed and I'll go downstairs and explain to Rose and Em that they should leave until we can go."

"She smells different." I threw my clothes on.

"She's a child," Jasper said. "It's the purest, sweetest blood we'll ever encounter."

"Have you?" As much as that little girl's blood was calling to me, I couldn't imagine feeding from her.

"No." Jasper closed his eyes and shook his head. "I could never bring myself to hurt a child. I did so many dreadful things in my existence, but no, that's not one of them."

"My throat burns."

"I know, and we'll go hunting in a few minutes." He kissed my head. "Just get dressed and I'll be back for you soon." He took my chin in his hand and stared at me for a few seconds. I could feel his apprehension. "Promise me, you'll stay put."

I nodded.

"I love you." He smiled.

"Love you too." I cleared my mind and relaxed my body. "Hurry back."

He nodded and quickly left the room, the wind from his exit tickled my face. I gathered our stuff, pulled my hair into a ponytail and listened as Jasper greeted Em and Rose. They were very surprised to see him. Apparently they didn't tell the others they were coming and that was why they didn't know we were here.

_Big surprise for all of us!_

Their hello's didn't take very long and I could feel how much they missed and cared for one another. Jasper was so happy to see them. I felt these same emotions coming from him when he saw the others too, but I was so consumed with what I was feeling I didn't realize just how much Jasper needed his family. Of course he had Peter, Char and me, but this was different. These people had been part of him for so long; they helped him when he was at his lowest point by taking him in and trying to show him another way. It was true he'd slipped up and even left them before finding me again, but they were all such an integral part of his existence. I could feel how much he loved them and how much they cared for him. It was so touching. I wanted him to be able to stay here as long as he needed, but now that Lila was here I wasn't sure I could stay.

Before I even realized it, I was standing at the top of the steps. It wasn't that I needed to get closer to hear them because I could do that from three miles away, but they were laughing and I could feel something else surrounding them all and I wanted to get a better look.

I didn't know why, but I put up my shield. It seemed to sooth and comfort me. Strange, but when it was up, I felt like I couldn't be sensed. It was as if I had some privacy.

As I peered down the steps, the scene before me was breathtaking. Jasper was holding this beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed angel. She was the prettiest little girl I'd ever seen. It was incredible because no one would ever suspect she wasn't Rose's biological child. The resemblance was uncanny.

Lila was captivated by Jasper. She kept running her fingers through his hair and the more she did it, the more intrigued he became. It was fascinating.

"She's very taken by our kind," Emmett said. "You should see her with Edward."

"I still don't get that." Rose laughed.

_Rose laughed?_

"But, she does love him and he was very useful after the accident when we wanted to know what she was thinking or if she was okay." Rose brushed the hair off Lila's face. "You like Uncle Jasper, don't you?"

"Hello, darlin'." Jasper smiled. "You are a pretty little thing."

"She looks just like her mama." Emmett messed up Lila's hair with his big hand. The little one let out a soft giggle.

"Em!" Rose quickly fixed Lila's hair. "She does look like me though, doesn't she?" Rose was beaming with pride.

I never would have expected these feeling to be emitting from Rose. She was so cheerful. If there were any human memories I carried about Rose, well, her being happy wasn't one of them.

"Does she speak?" I felt Jasper's curiosity over this tiny human child. He was speaking to Rosalie but he never took his eyes away from Lila. She had stolen his heart. I could feel it.

"Occasionally," Emmett said. "That's why it's nice having Edward around. He helps her communicate with us."

"Carlisle says she experienced a huge trauma and we'd just have to be patient. She speaks more now than before and she's picking up more English each day, but she's a quiet little girl. I don't push." Rose smiled at Lila. "She'll talk when she's ready."

"But, she doesn't know what we are?" Jasper asked.

"No," Rose said. "According to Edward, she thinks we're special like Angels or something. She's not quite sure what to make of us but she knows we saved her."

Lila put out her arms for Rose, so she scooped the child into an embrace and held her close to her body. "Are you tired?"

"Yes," Lila whispered. "Juice?"

"I'll get it," Emmett said. "We stopped off at the grocery store before we came because Esme didn't know we were coming or she would've had the place stocked for Lila. We all tend to spoil her."

"I can see why." Jasper smiled. "She's perfect and Rose, she's really happy and she loves you so much. I can feel it coming off her in massive doses."

Rose stared up at Jasper and if she could cry, she looked like she might.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I —I still can't believe it, you know?"

"I know but you guys deserve this and Lila is a lucky girl."

"Hey, man," Em said as he handed Lila her juice cup. "We've been so wrapped up with everything that was going on with Lila, we haven't talked in a while. How are things going? Where's Bella?"

"Oh!" Rose said as she looked around the room. "Is she here with you? She's still a newborn. Em?" I felt her anxiety over the possibility that I was in the house.

"Calm down, Rose," he said. "Bella wouldn't hurt a fly."

_Oh boy!_

"I don't smell her," Rose said.

"Me neither. Where is she, Jazz?"

I felt Jasper's confusion. "You don't smell her?" He looked around the room and I could tell he was trying to figure out where I was.

I backed away from the staircase because I was embarrassed I was listening and watching them. I felt stalkerish.

"What is it?" Rose asked. "Is everything okay?" I could feel Rose's protectiveness over her child growing stronger by the second. "Is Bella here, or not? Why can't I sense her?" She was frightened for Lila and I was the reason.

I felt awful.

"I can explain," was the last thing I heard Jasper say.

Before I realized what I was doing, I ran down the hallway and leapt out the window that faced the backyard. I took off running and after a few seconds, I dropped my shield. I looked around and could still see the house in the distance. I wasn't that far. Maybe a mile. I just needed a second to pull myself together.

I should've made my presence known and I should've let them know I didn't want to hurt Lila. They were all so happy and the minute my name was mentioned, I could feel the uncertainty and the protectiveness. I didn't blame them, but I wouldn't hurt a child. I couldn't. Her blood made my throat burn and I wanted to feed now more than ever and if truth be told, I was craving a human, but not Lila.

_Get a hold of yourself, Bella…you can control this. _

I just needed to go back to the house and explain to Rose and Emmett that I meant their child no harm.

_Maybe I should hunt first._

I knew Jasper would be looking for me in a matter of seconds, but I didn't think I should go back to the house until I fed. There had to be a deer or something around here that would satiate my thirst.

I turned to head deeper into the forest when I saw him standing a few feet from me. Actually, I sensed him before he came into sight.

"Bella?"

"Edward." I pushed the hair from my face and backed away. "Where did you come from?"

"I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't, you couldn't." I laughed. "Benefit of being a vampire."

He smiled. "Yes, I'm still trying to get used to you being like me."

"I thought you went out with Alice."

"That was last night." He reminded me. "It's almost morning."

_Oh right, I was too busy sucking Jasper's… thank God he can't read my mind!_

"Anyway, Alice saw Rose and Em at the house so we headed back. It was a last minute decision on their part or Alice would've seen it sooner."

"Oh." I nodded. "Her gift is kind of crappy. Never works when it's supposed to."

"No, I guess it doesn't."

I nodded, not exactly sure what I should say or do.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Rose was panicking about me being in the house so I just came out here. I should go back and get Jasper so we can hunt."

"Do you want me to get him for you?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

Edward stood for a few moments and stared at me. I felt like I was under a microscope or something.

"I take it you still can't read my mind?"

"No." He smiled. "Do you think we could talk for a few minutes before I get Jasper? Or, if you prefer, we could talk with Jasper. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Were you always this polite?"

He shook his head. "I could have done much better."

I felt his guilt and remorse but it wasn't necessary.

"Look, Edward," I said. "There's no reason for you to feel bad about what happened between us. I'm exactly where I want to be in my life with exactly the person I was always meant to be with. If whatever happened between you and me, however unpleasant it was, brought me to this place it all happened for a reason. It led me straight to Jasper and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

"I'm very happy for you, Bella. I know at the time when I left you I didn't want you to have any part of our world, but I was wrong. It was never my decision to make."

"I don't remember much of it anymore. My human memories are fading fast, but it was three years ago and I honestly don't think I would've carried that grudge with me for all of eternity anyway. It's just not who I am."

"I know but I want you to know I never meant to hurt you even if you can't remember it, it still happened."

"Why didn't you ever come back for me? Not that it matters because Jasper did come back but did you ever think about me? How I was coping?"

"Every second of every hour." He closed his eyes and smiled. He felt content and at peace. "Our times in the meadow are my favorite memories." He casually leaned against a huge tree. I could feel him remembering happier times. "And, yes, I wanted to come back immediately, but Jasper had already left and had made the decision to rejoin Peter and Char and the human diet. At first, I didn't think that was my problem, I figured he should choose the life he wanted, but then Alice showed me how dark and lost he'd become if he didn't eventually find his path."

"Me?"

He nodded. "Alice showed me how you suffered, but I knew in the long run it would all work out, so I stayed away. I know you're struggling to find your place in this new life. You're trying to find your way, but you have a good, strong man by your side, so you should lean on him as much as you possibly can because, just as you helped him find his way, he'll do the same for you."

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I think it's this new gift of mine, but I have this incredible urge to hug you right now. Can I?"

"I'd like that very much." He extended his arms and I cautiously approached. I wrapped my arms around his waist and gently squeezed. "We're the same temperature."

I could feel his amusement over that.

"You don't have to feel guilty anymore, Edward. I'm fine."

"I know." He kissed the top of my head and then released me.

"I hope there is someone in your future because you deserve to find her."

"Alice promises me it won't be much longer, but I try not to think about it. It'll happen when it's supposed to happen."

"Who is she?" I squeaked.

He shrugged. "Haven't met her yet, but she's in France with her coven. Alice has all the details but I'd rather just wait and see. I'm old-fashioned that way." He smiled.

"Oh! You're crazy. I'd want all the details! I'm gonna ask Alice."

"Whatever pleases you." He looked beyond the trees and toward the house. "We should head back."

I turned and saw Jasper standing on the back porch steps watching us. I took off toward him and jumped into his waiting arms. I didn't like being away from him.

"I just went out into the woods. I didn't go far."

"I know, but why did you run?"

"I don't know?"

"I don't believe you." He stared at me, trying to figure out what I was feeling. "Your shield was up earlier. That's why I couldn't sense you."

I felt embarrassed.

"I can't help you if you hide from me."

"I wasn't hiding, Jasper, I don't know why the shield went up but when I felt Rose's anxiety, I ran. I didn't want to cause any trouble."

Emmett and Rosalie stepped out onto the porch just as Jasper was placing me on my feet.

"Wow, Bella, you're one hot little vampire." Emmett ran down the steps and pulled me into his arms, squeezing with all of his strength. "And, you won't break. Jasper, you lucky fuck." He winked at Jasper.

Jasper rolled his eyes and smiled. I could feel what my mate was thinking and now I really wanted to go for that hunt. I needed to be alone with him and now.

Jasper must have known what I was thinking because he slowly shook his head and smiled.

_Fine! Not now. I get it!_

"Hey, Em, it's good to see you." At least I thought it was. It felt good even if I didn't remember too much of him from my human life. I did remember he treated me like a sibling and never cared that I was human.

When he released me, I looked up at Rose who was still standing on the porch steps. Edward was beside her now and I could hear Carlisle, Alice and Esme inside with Lila.

"Bella," Rose said. "It's been a long time."

I nodded.

"This life suits you." I could feel her approval over my new form. "But, I know it's hard for you, isn't it?"

"Rose?" Edward said. "There's no need to say everything you're thinking."

"No, it's okay, Edward," I said. "If I were Rose, I'd be worried too."

"Bella?" Jasper said as he moved next to me. "You're not going to hurt Lila. I can feel that."

He was always so trusting of me.

"But, I think it's time for us to leave," Jasper said and I felt his disappointment over having to leave the Cullens so soon.

"You like being here, around all of them," I said. "You want to stay."

"I want to be with you," he said. "No one else."

"Now who's lying?" I smiled.

"I don't like you using your gift on me."

"Oh, please," Alice said as she stepped out onto the porch with Lila clinging to her side. "You've been using it on all of us for decades. It'll be good for you."

"Alice?" I could feel Rose's anxiety over Lila being this close to me.

"Bella's not going to hurt her," Alice said. "I would've seen it."

"Not if it's a snap decision. Edward, please take Lila inside. I need to speak to Bella," Rose said.

Edward kneeled down in front of Lila and I could tell by the way he was watching her he was reading her mind. Lila stared at me and I felt her curiosity.

"Yes." Edward smiled. "She is very pretty."

Lila continued to stare at me and then she placed her hand on Edward's cheek.

"Yes, she's an Angel too." He picked her up and turned around to face me.

I smiled at Lila. I wanted to say something to her but I didn't want to push Rose, so I just waved and watched as Edward brought her inside.

"She's beautiful and I would never hurt her." I tried to assure Rose but I understood she only wanted to protect her child.

"Bella," Rose said. "I know we never got along and I'm sorry about that. I'm happy Jasper has found you and made you one of us. You two were meant for one another. I've never seen my brother this calm and at peace, so thank you for that."

"I love him."

Jasper took my hand and surrounded me in his love.

"But, you have to understand," she continued. "I'd do anything for that little girl in there and it's my job to protect her."

"I agree."

"Jasper, Edward and Alice have all assured me you won't hurt her. I want to believe that but if you are going to stay here, I have to ask that you stay away from Lila just until I'm absolutely sure."

"Of course," I said.

"We're not staying much longer," Jasper said. "Carlisle wants a chance to speak with Bella and then we're on our way."

Rose nodded.

"Can we hunt now?" I asked. "I want to be alone with you."

"Newlywed stage." Emmett laughed. "I remember when Rose and I were a newly married couple. We did it all the time."

"You still do," Alice said.

"Did we miss a wedding?" Rose asked. "Jasper, why didn't you tell us?" I could feel how hurt she was over not knowing we got married.

"No," Jasper quickly stated. "We're not married."

I was picking up a weird vibe from my mate. It was as if he was put off by the whole thing.

"Why is that?" Alice asked. "We've been divorced for several years."

"When would we have had time to get married?" he asked. "Bella is a newborn and we have more important things to consider."

_More important things than making me your wife?_

Jasper's eyes shot to mine. "You know what I mean, don't you?"

I shrugged, trying not to be offended. I didn't care that we weren't married. He was my mate, mine for all of eternity, so did it really matter if we didn't share the same last name? Even Alice never took his last name but that didn't stop them from spending many years together. Although they didn't end up together, so maybe that wasn't the best example.

"Sorry, Jazz," Em said. "Didn't mean to cause a problem."

"You didn't," Jasper said. "We'll be back soon."

I let go of his hand and took off running. I needed a chance to clear my head and process this day. There were so many things going on. I came face to face with a family I hadn't seen in a few years and resolved all of my issues with them. Jasper was right, it helped. I had clarity and understanding now, but with that peace of mind came more than I ever bargained for.

I had a new gift, one I never saw coming. I still hadn't learned to master the shield and now I was an empath. Could it get any more complicated than that? I had to feel everything from everyone. I was still trying to control my own emotions and now I had to decipher all of the feelings of everyone else around me.

Then there was my blood lust. I was trying to overcome my thirst and I was doing a pretty good job these past few days but now I was living in close proximity to a human child_. Really?_ I didn't want to hurt Lila but her scent was doing nothing for my control.

Edward? He was so sincere and apologetic. He even wished me well in my new life with Jasper. And, there was still my talk with Carlisle looming on the horizon. How much more could I handle? I needed to get away. I was suffocating.

"Bella," Jasper called as he ran after me. "Wait up."

Oh, right, and then there was Jasper. My mate and man I was going to spend all of eternity with. I felt his longing to be with the Cullens every time he was in one of their presence.

"Bella!"

He leapt over me and landed directly in front of me, stopping me cold as I slammed into his chest.

"Are you ever planning on marrying me?" The words left my mouth before I had time to think.

"I, well—" He ran his fingers through his hair and stared at me with those golden eyes, struggling to find the words.

*****Poor Jasper…it wasn't as if if he didn't try!**

*****Thanks again for your patience. I'll update as soon as I can.**


	31. Part II Chpt 14

*****Here I am! I didn't abandon you. Sorry for the delay but I appreciate your patience while I try to juggle both writing lives. Lol Thanks for your continued support.**

*****A special thanks to Lady Tazz and Twicarol for pre-reading and beta'ing so fast. **

*****The characters and original storyline belong to SM. **

_Jasper_

I took off after Bella. I could feel her uncertainty and confusion. I needed to fix this and I needed to fix it fast.

"Bella!"

She kept running.

_She's so stubborn!_

I pushed my legs to maximum speed and then leapt over her, causing her to smack into me.

"Are you ever planning on marrying me?"

"I, well—" I ran my fingers through my hair and stared at her for a few seconds. No, I was fucked. This was hardly the way I envisioned proposing to my reason for existing. It was supposed to be special and romantic and preferably in Texas.

"This was why we weren't supposed to come here!" she yelled. "It was for me to find out you don't want to marry me."

"What?"

"You know what? Never mind, Jasper Whitlock! It doesn't matter." She stormed off toward the river.

I took a calm steadying breath. I loved her more than I ever imagined I could, but sometimes her new born phase grated on my nerves. It was as if she had no common sense. I followed her.

She was pacing by the water and I could feel her anger bubbling over. Just as I was about to speak, she laid into me.

"You married Alice!" she screamed.

"I did." I dryly stated.

"You were married to her for decades."

"I was." I needed to let my little mate get this out of her system and humoring her was the only way I could do that.

"She's annoying," she said. "I mean, I like her but she had to have driven you to drink."

I laughed. Yes, Alice had driven me to drink human blood on more than one occasion.

"I'm glad you find this so amusing," she said. "You don't want to marry me. I'm good enough for you to turn and call your mate, but not good enough to take the precious Whitlock name?"

"Not even Alice took my last name," I reminded her.

"Maybe it's you? Maybe you don't deserve a wife who will take your last name."

"Perhaps." I smiled as I pulled her body against mine. "You're awfully cute when you rant."

"Stop it." She tried to pull away from me but I held her still. "I'm being serious here."

"So am I," I said. "Now, be a vampire and use that amazing gift I gave you."

"What?"

"Do you honestly believe I don't want to marry you?"

"You didn't answer me right away. You hesitated because you were confused. I felt it."

I took her face between my hands. "Use your ability. What am I feeling?" I looked into her eyes. "Tell me."

"You love me so much it hurts." She lost her breath. "You want to be with me forever. You'd do anything for me; even die if it would save me."

I rubbed my thumb over her bottom lip. "Exactly."

"I had a newborn tantrum." I felt her embarrassment.

"Maybe just a little one." I laughed as I leaned in to her face and kissed her. "But I know you feel the same way about me."

"Do you, Jasper? Do you know how much you mean to me?" She broke away from me and began pacing the side of the river. "I know I act like a lunatic half the time, but I really am trying to get that side of me under control."

"You're doing just fine, beautiful," I walked toward her. "I can feel how much you're changing. Your thirst isn't as strong as it used to be. You're amazing, Bella. You're everything I could ever want in a woman, a vampire and a mate. I trust you with my heart, mind and soul."

"I know and I'm sorry about the things I said. I'm perfectly happy with the way things are between us. I don't need to be a Whitlock. I'm good." She kicked a pebble into the stream and watched as it floated away.

I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Bella," I whispered. "You are a Whitlock. I created you. It's my venom that courses through your veins, but I know that's not what you meant. I'll make you a Whitlock in every sense of the word." I reached into my pocket.

"No, Jasper," she said. "I don't want you to feel like you have to ask me to marry you. The timing is off now and you would just be asking me because you feel like you have to."

"The timing couldn't be more right. I don't feel forced into anything and as a matter of fact." I pulled the ring from my pocket and took her hand. "Would I be carrying this around if I didn't want to marry you?"

"What? Why do you have that?"

"I've tried to give it to you twice now but every time I do, you have a hankering for human blood."

"I did? The jogger?"

"And the couple on the bike trail."

"You were going to propose that day?"

I nodded.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," I said. "The timing was off then but not anymore. Now you can feel how much I want this and you'll always know that you are my world."

She gasped as she looked down at the ring.

"Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"

She looked up at me and I could see the venom filling in her eyes. She silently nodded but I felt how overwhelmed she was.

I slipped the ring on her finger. "Forever, Bella, you'll be mine forever."

"It's what I've always wanted," she said as she pressed her lips to mine. "Forever."

"So is that a yes?" I smirked.

"Yes!" She yelled. "I want to be Bella Whitlock!"

"And, so you shall." I tangled my fingers in her hair, pulling her into a long, slow kiss.

She popped up her shield, surrounding the both of us in it and reached for the hem of my shirt.

"Why the shield?"

"Alice can't see us when it's up and it creeps me out knowing she can watch us," she said. "When we're in here, you're all mine."

"I like the way you think."

A couple of hours later, I was able to convince my soon-to-be bride to get dressed and go back to the house with me. After a quick hunt and one more even quicker love session later, we were on our way. As we walked hand and hand through the forest I could feel how happy she was.

"We don't actually have to a formal ceremony, you know," she said. "I don't need anything fancy."

"Really?"

"I'm fine with something quick. I'm not really into all that hoopla. I just want you." She kissed my cheek but there was more to what she was saying.

"And, I'm fine with that but I've done the wedding thing before and I don't want you to feel like you missed something."

"I won't."

I stopped walking and stared at her. "Something is wrong."

"Everything is perfect."

I took her hand and closed my eyes.

"Jasper, don't ruin this moment by analyzing what I'm feeling."

"You're longing for something, Bella. I can feel it. Tell me and I'll get it for you."

"You can't," she said. "No matter how much you want it for me, you can't. You've already explained that to me."

"Charlie," I whispered. "I'm an idiot. I should've married you before I turned you. I wasn't thinking."

"It's not your fault," she said. "Just no big wedding, okay?"

"Whatever you want."

"I want to go back to Texas. I miss our coven."

I knew what she meant. She was feeling the loss of Charlie. Her human memories may have been fading but her connection to her father was strong, especially after Edward left, so it was only natural that she wanted Peter and Char. They were as familiar and as comforting to her as the Cullens were to me. I wanted her to have everything I could give her. If I couldn't give her Charlie, I'd give her Peter and Char.

"We'll leave tonight."

"Okay, I want to talk to Carlisle before we go. I promised him that we'd discuss my diet and my shield."

As we approached the yard, Edward was sitting on the porch steps reading a book. He looked up and smiled. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"We're good." Bella smiled. "I over-reacted."

"It happens."

"Is Carlisle in the house?"' Bella looked toward the door.

"He's waiting for you," Edward said.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked.

"No." She looked between me and Edward. "You know what? Since we're leaving tonight, why don't you and Edward go do something? Maybe a run through the woods? You could get Emmett to go, too. And, take your time. I'm sure Alice will make me shop on-line, but I'll get everything delivered to Texas."

"Are you sure?" I tried to contain my excitement, but I did miss my brothers and Bella knew it.

"Yes." She kissed me. "I want you to have that before we leave."

"I love you."

"I know." She smiled. "I can feel it."

She walked up the steps and looked down at Edward. "Make sure he has fun. He's always worrying about me."

"He doesn't have to," Edward said. "You're going to be just fine."

"Tell him." She hitched her thumb over her shoulder as she ran into the house.

"You're very lucky, Jasper," Edward said.

"Don't I know it?" I sat down on the bottom step. "Everything went well between the two of you?"

Edward rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"You overheard my whole conversation with Bella," he said. "I knew you were sitting here listening to us this morning."

"Sorry. I can't help it. It's my job to watch over her and protect her."

"I know. She's lucky, too."

I nodded.

"You're heading back to Texas?"

"Yeah, Bella wants to go home," I said. "And, I think it's time. She made peace with all of you, found a new power and is coming to terms with her diet. We had a very productive trip."

"And, she got engaged," Edward said. "Don't forget that."

"How did you know?"

"Well, who could miss that ostentatious ring on her finger?" He laughed. "But, Alice saw you propose just after you left for the forest this morning."

"So, Alice will pounce on Bella the second she steps out of Carlisle's study?"

"Yeah, probably. I'm sure we have a few hours to do whatever we want."

"I'll get Emmett." I stood and headed for the door.

"Sounds like a plan."

I was looking forward to spending time with Edward and Emmett. It had been a long time since the three of us were together and I missed the bond between us. I was glad to have the time but I knew Bella was right. Our place was in Texas. We had started our own coven and that was where we belonged. I decided we'd have to make it a point to visit the Cullens whenever we could though. We both needed them.

The three of us went for a long run in the woods, watched Emmett take down a rather large and irritable bear and then we settled down by a remote lake and reminisced about our long history together. But the longer we stayed away, the more prominent that tug in my chest got. It was an aching feeling and I knew the only way it was going to be satisfied was when I saw Bella.

Emmett glanced down at his watch. He must have been feeling his pull toward Rose too.

"Hell! Rose is gonna kill me," he said.

"Why?" Edward asked.

"Because we've been gone for five hours." He leapt up and pulled his phone from his pocket.

"She would have called if she needed you." Edward said.

"No reception out here," he said. "We better head back."

"I agree." I looked at my phone. Emmett was right. I didn't have a signal either. I had a brief sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was the first time since we arrived that I felt what Bella and Peter were talking about. I couldn't shake it. How could I have missed it?

"Wow." Edward laughed. "You two are whipped."

"You'll see, virgin boy." Emmett slapped the back of Edward's head. "Just wait until you get a taste of your sweet little mate's pus—"

"I told you not to talk about her that way." Edward got up and headed in the direction of the house.

"You don't even know who she is yet," Emmett said.

"So what, I still don't want you talking about her that way." Edward caught up to me. "What it is? Your thoughts have shifted. What do you think is wrong?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I don't feel right. Something is off."

"We're too far from the house for you to pick up anyone's emotions," he said.

"Nah," Emmett said. "If Rosie is pissed off at me, Jasper could feel it all the way out here."

"It's probably nothing," I said. "I'm just not used to being away from Bella this long. She's probably feeling the same way."

I took off for the house with Edward and Em close behind me. It took us a few minutes to reach the property but as soon as I did, I could feel the chaos and panic.

Edward must have read their thoughts.

"Oh, no," he whispered as we slowed our pace.

"What is it?" Emmett said.

Before Edward could confirm what was happening, Rose flew out of the house. She was distraught with worry as she ran into Em's arms.

"What's wrong?" Emmett said and now he was full of panic. "Rose?"

"I can't find Lila," she yelled. "She's not here."

"What?" Emmett screamed. "How can you not find her? You're a vampire."

"I know," Rose said. "She's not in the house."

I watched as the others stepped onto the porch. None of them knew what to do, but through the confusion I noticed Bella wasn't with them. That tugging in my chest was much more prominent now.

I pushed passed them, but Carlisle grabbed my shoulder and stopped me from going inside.

I looked at him before trying to break away from him. I had to get to her.

"She's not in there," he said. "We can't pick up her scent either."

"How long?" I asked.

"I don't know," Alice said. "When we noticed Lila wasn't in the house, we realized Bella hadn't been here in a while."

"What do you mean?" I closed my eyes and tried to get a lock on where she was, but I felt nothing.

"Jasper," Rose said as she shook me. "You said she wouldn't hurt her."

"I'm sorry, Rose." I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for. I couldn't think. All I wanted to do was find Bella.

"Rosalie," Carlisle said. "We don't know that Bella has Lila."

"Where else would she be?" Rose screamed. "Alice can't see either of them."

_Fuck! That stupid shield._

Edward watched me. I knew he was reading my every thought. I shook my head.

"We're not doing any good standing around here," Edward said. "Has anyone searched the property?"

"She just went missing seconds before you got here," Esme said. "We tore the house apart but there is no sign of her."

"We need to do a scan of the perimeter," I said. "Alice and Rose, you stay here. Search the entire house again. You've got to calm down and think. We can hear her heart beat and pick up her scent. She's a small child. She can't get that far."

"She could if a vampire who has the power to elude us picked her up and carried her out of here. God, I was so stupid to think that Bella could be trusted with a human child."

"Rosalie, I know you're upset, but Bella would never hurt Lila." I pushed tranquility out. We were going to get nowhere in the state everyone was in."Edward, you're the fastest and we're wasting time, so head toward the south end of the property and then to those caves that you and Alice talked about."

Edward took off without a second thought.

"I'll take the stream and follow it down," I said.

"The stream? Oh God!" Rose cried out. "She can't swim."

"The rest of you, take the remaining corners of the property. Just stay focused and we'll find them."

Everyone scrambled in different directions. I headed toward the stream, hoping if Bella took Lila that would be where she'd end up. She'd always liked the peacefulness of the water. It helped whenever she was feeling distraught or afraid.

_Damn it, Bella! Where the hell are you?_

_*******_**That's a good question, Jasper.**

*****If you've followed my other stories, you know I like to take the LONG way to the HEA! But I always get us there.**

*****I'm working on the next chapter and should have it to my beta soon.**


	32. Part II Chpt 15

*****Look I'm updating a day earlier than I'd anticipated. Thanks to all of you who read, review, PM me and support me. It's what keeps me going. **

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and to TwiCarol (who was down with the flu) for beta reading. She proofed two chapters for me this week. I'm very grateful!**

*****I don't own anything related to Twilight. I just like switching things up.**

_Bella_

Impulse took over again. I'd been gone for hours. Jasper was going to kill me. I didn't mean to leave. I really hadn't thought it through, but after getting engaged and then my talk with Carlisle, I knew where I had to go. I didn't think. I took off. I'd have to learn to stop doing that.

I ran so fast I swore my legs hurt. I kept pushing myself harder and harder. The ache in my heart was unbearable. I needed to get back to my mate and tell him how much I loved him. The pieces were all falling into place now. We came here for resolution and as painful and as frightening as that had seemed, it was the right thing to do. I'd made peace with my human life and now I could finally embrace my vampire self. I couldn't wait to tell Jasper. He'd been so worried.

I was getting closer to the Cullen house. I could sense them. Just as I was about to run through the section of the woods that would lead me to the backyard, I picked up Jasper's scent.

_Damn! I wanted to get back before he did._

I stopped and watched as he paced the stream. He seemed to be looking for something. _Probably me._ He was so full of worry and guilt. What did he have to feel guilty about? He'd been doing everything he could to make my existence easier.

He looked distraught. I'd never felt such stress and anxiety coming from him before. He was always in control of his emotions. I dropped my shield and walked toward him.

He quickly turned around as soon as he sensed me.

"Bella!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

He grabbed me and pulled me against his chest. I felt his immediate relief, but that didn't last long. He stepped back and stared into my eyes.

"I'm okay," I said. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"You have to tell me what you've done so I can fix this."

"It's okay," I said. "No one saw me."

"What?" He was horrified.

"I know I shouldn't have run off. It was an impulse. I have to work on that, but Jasper, I feel so much better now. "

He took my face between his hands. "Your eyes are golden."

"I stopped off to feed."

"Where is Lila?" I felt his anxiety.

"Lila? I don't know. She's probably with Rose."

"You don't have her?"

I shook my head.

"Where were you? Why did you have your shield up?"

"Don't be mad, okay?"

"Tell me where you were."

"I went to see Charlie."

"You what? Are you out of your fucking mind? Why would you do that?"

_Whoa…he is angry._

"How could you risk yourself that way? How could you put Charlie in danger? Do you have any idea what could happen if the Volturi find out you've exposed us? And what about the wolves? God, Bella, didn't you think?" He let go of me and started pacing again.

"No one saw me. I watched Charlie from a distance. After getting engaged and then talking with Carlisle, I had an urge to see my dad. I didn't put any of us in jeopardy."

"You constantly put yourself in jeopardy when you put up that shield," he yelled. "I can't protect you when it's up."

"I said I was fine."

"I didn't know that!" He reached into his pocket and answered his phone.

I could hear Edward on the other end.

"Where was she?" I felt his relief. "I'm glad she's safe. I have Bella. We'll be back shortly."

"They found Lila?" I asked.

He nodded. "She wandered off. Edward found her not far from here. The property is so big and everyone momentarily panicked. Apparently a human child is no match for a house full of vampires obsessed with her safety. She wasn't gone that long."

"I'm glad she's okay."

"We need to go," I said. "It's best we leave here now. We don't need any more misunderstandings." He headed for the house.

"You're still upset." I chased after him.

"You have no idea."

"I'm sorry I made you worry, but there was no harm done." I took his hand.

"No harm? Do you really think that? I couldn't find you. The last time I couldn't find you, you killed a jogger. "

"It wasn't like that this time. I'm different now."

"How was I supposed to know that? Lila was missing and all I could think was—"

I let go of his hand. "You thought I could… why would you think that?"

"I didn't want to think it but it was a very real possibility. You were both missing. Alice couldn't see you and I couldn't feel you. "

"So you assumed I killed a child? That's what you think of me?"

"No! I defended you but I was still afraid. You admit to having impulses. Lila is our natural food source. "

"Don't you have any faith in me?"

"What about you? You put that shield up and shut me out every chance you get."

"That's not true."

"Why couldn't I sense you when I was talking to Rose and Em this morning?"

"I didn't mean to put it up. It just happened."

"And in the truck on the way here. You used it against me then and how about when you did slip up that night in the park?"

"I didn't even know I had a shield then."

"But I wasn't who you called. I wasn't the one you wanted."

"I didn't what to hurt you. I panicked and I called Peter. I've always wanted you."

"You've been shutting me out ever since you opened your eyes. Don't you think I can feel it? You hid your blood lust from me, you use your gift against me and you run off without trusting that I can help you. I've been where you are before but you refuse to let me fix things."

"Please, Jasper." He'd never acted this way toward me before. I didn't understand what was happening. "I don't mean to do these things. You can feel how much I love you. You just have to trust that even if you can't trust me."

"I want to trust you Bella, but you have to work with me. You have to stop running. I can't take much more. I'm always afraid you're going to disappear. I never know what you're going to do next and it scares me because I'm not _that_ vampire anymore."

"And you think I am?"

The emotions swirling between us were too much. I couldn't tell which were mine and which were his. Maybe we were one and the same? It hurt to see this strong, beautiful man so broken and helpless. When it came to me, he had no idea what to do.

"I'll never be your perfect mate," I whispered.

"I'm not asking you to be perfect. I just want you to stop running from me. You should never have gone to Forks without me. It was careless, Bella, and in those few minutes when I didn't know where you were, I nearly lost it. You've got to start thinking."

"Stop treating me like a child!" My impulsive nature was starting to kick in again. I could feel it. Everything Jasper was saying made complete sense, just not to me. If I could control who I was, I would but I wasn't wired that way anymore.

"I'm treating you like my mate. I need you to know it's not acceptable for you to run off anymore. I don't leave you."

"You've been at this much longer than me. I'm still trying to figure it out."

"Let me help you," he said. "It's the only way we're going to survive."

I shook my head.

"Bella! I can feel you pulling away. Don't do it."

I backed away. "I need some space. Your emotions are too much for me."

"Let me assist you with that."

He was trying to manipulate me, but I didn't want that, so I did the one thing that would piss him off the most. I threw up my shield.

"Are you kidding me?" He shook his head. "I can't believe after everything I've just said, you would use your gift against me."

"You're trying to use yours on me."

"I'm trying to help you. What are you doing?"

"I don't know. That's the part you don't seem to get. I'm still trying to figure this whole vamp thing out. You have to stop smothering me."

"Smothering you? I've given you too much freedom. Drop that shield. We're leaving for Texas right now." He was furious. "This has gone far enough."

I stared at him, unwilling to relent. Being a vampire gave a girl some pretty strong resolve.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Loud and clear, Major Whitlock. The problem is I'm not one of your soldiers. I'm a vampire with feelings and you've hurt mine."

"Oh, for the love of… drop that shield or we're gonna have a bigger problem than hurt feelings."

"I can't," I said. "I need some time. An hour to sort things out and then we'll talk."

"No! We'll sort them out together."

"You're not in any kind of mood to deal with what I'm feeling."

"How can I know what you're feeling? You won't let me in."

"An hour. Can you give me that?"

"No," he said. "You either drop that shield and come with me or—"

"Or what?"

"Don't come at all." His eyes were cold and vacant. "I'm not going to beg you to need me."

"Well, if you don't know that I need you by now, we have more problems than we think." I turned and took off through the woods. It only took a few seconds to realize my mate didn't follow me. That familiar tug in my chest proved it. I kept running, far and fast.

_Why am I running?_

_Because I'm an idiot!_

I stopped, dropped my shield and leaned against a tree. How did we make such a mess? We were so happier earlier this afternoon. I thought back to the minutes after he proposed. We were carefree and in love. There were no issues, concerns or stress between us.

It took us seconds to rid our clothes and sink down to the forest floor. I could hear the soft flow of the stream as Jasper dropped down and sat back on his heels. He pulled me down onto his lap and I slowly impaled myself onto his hard cock. We both moaned at the connection. Pleasure took over and desire became need as I rocked into him. He ran his hands up and down my spine as I moved my fingers through his messy hair.

"I love when you fuck me," I cried out as he thrust upward. "It's the most amazing feeling being filled by you."

"You're all I'll ever need, Bella. I can't exist without you."

"Jasper…" I quietly let go, dropping my head against his shoulder as he continued to move in and out of me.

We made love for hours by the stream, in the stream and under the waterfall a few miles away. I could still smell him on my skin. If it were up to me, we would never stop. He was everything I'd ever need. Why couldn't I show him that? Why was I so afraid?

I sat out in the woods longer than I had anticipated. It was quiet out there and it gave me the clarity I needed. Jasper was right. I did shut him out. However unintentional it was, I still hurt him.

I tried to hide my bloodlust from him in the beginning instead of trusting him to help me. I turned to Peter when I killed that jogger because I was too ashamed to let Jasper down. I hid from him when I was confused or overwhelmed. I took off for Forks without letting him know where I was. I constantly hurt him and he was being so patient with me.

He understood my frustration. He was trying desperately to let me find my way. I could feel all of it now. When I really thought about it and used my empathic abilities, I was surrounded in his love, confidence and trust. All he wanted was to be included. The more I grew as a vampire, the more I understood what he needed. That understanding would get stronger every day. I was certain of it. I just needed to make Jasper comprehend.

Jasper wanted to be the one to help me even if I failed, he needed to be involved. As my mate he needed to be the one to protect me. I pushed him away and now he felt rejected.

_Clarity is a bitch!_

I stood and headed for the house. It was eerily quiet and dark even for a family of vampires. I couldn't sense them, so I pulled my phone from my pocket to call Jasper. I had to tell him how sorry I was and how much I needed him, even if I screwed up on occasion.

"Bella." He was relieved to see me.

"Hey Edward, I didn't think anyone was here."

"We didn't think you were coming back. Alice saw what happened in the woods and then she couldn't sense you anymore."

"I stupidly put up my shield and ran."

"We figured."

"Where is everyone?"

"Rose was stressed after the scare with Lila so Em took her, Alice and Lila back to France. Carlisle and Esme headed to Alaska for a few days and then they'll head back to France too. Carlisle's work is finished here."

"I'm glad Lila is okay. I know everyone thought it was me, but I'd never hurt her."

"We knew that, Bella. Rose apologized to Jasper for jumping to conclusions. It all happened so fast."

"I understand. If I were Rose, I'd do anything to protect my child too."

"Carlisle's hoping that you'll come and visit us once you're up to it," he said. "I think you'll like Paris."

I nodded. "I'm sure Jasper would like that." I looked around the room, my heart aching a little more as each second passed and I still couldn't feel him. "Why did you stay behind?"

"I thought maybe you'd come back. I heard the fight you'd had with Jasper through Alice's vision and I know neither of you meant what you said."

"Yeah, we have a few issues, but I learned that two empaths can be pretty volatile when they're trying to get their way. We'll figure it out. Where is he?"

"Bella." Edward ran his fingers through his hair. "He's not here."

"I know. Did he go hunting?"

Edward shook his head and I could feel his sorrow.

"What is it? I know he's upset, but I'll fix this."

"He left."

"Left? Where did he go?"

"I'm sorry." Edward didn't like having to tell me this. I could feel how tortured he was. "He went back to Texas."

"Without me?"

*****Don't panic…I'm not switching Teams. Lol I know that was a hard chapter to read because it was difficult to write. But when you've written as many J/B stories as I have, you have to come up with twists and turns. Those of you who have faith in me know I'll fix this. All I can say is… I do believe in the HEA!**


	33. Part II Chpt 16

*****Wow! Jasper took a beating from some of you over that last chapter. I'm so protective of him. Lol He's a wise, old vamp who feels deeply. I have a FEELING he knows what he's doing.**

*****Thanks so much for sticking with me and letting me take the risks I need to spin this tale.**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol for beta reading and for Lady Tazz for pre-reading.**

*****I still don't own it.**

_Jasper_

I felt the cool surge of air brush against my face as Bella took off and ran from me. She didn't even hesitate. She wanted to go.

_Why does she always run?_

The mate in me wanted to chase after her and make her understand that I was here to help, but the man in me couldn't take the rejection any longer. I'd done everything I possibly could for her. I'd made her like me, tried to help her through the beginning days, reassured her when she slipped up and surrounded her with as much love and respect as I could find.

She tried to warn me...

_"Jasper, if we come here something will change between us."_

I knew now I didn't listen because we were supposed to come here. This was the course we were on and even if we didn't like the outcome, we were going to have to ride out the storm. The next phase in our relationship was inevitable even if I didn't like it.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind about her love for me, but she was going to have to learn to trust me. We would never make it without that and eternity was far too long to have this fester between us. I knew better than anyone that sometimes people needed their space and if I forced her to stay with me, she'd end up resenting me.

I felt her emotions. She was suffocating. I knew what it was like to be the weak link. If Bella wanted me, she'd have to come to me in her own time.

I made my way back to the house, grabbed my things and walked out to the truck. I said my goodbyes to my family and promised I'd visit soon. I could feel the disappointment rolling off Carlisle. Alice must have seen me leaving.

"I know you don't agree with what I'm doing," I said.

He shook his head. "I don't. I didn't agree when Edward did it and I certainly don't approve now."

"That was different," I said. "Bella is stronger now and she'll figure out what she has to do. The only way it'll ever work between us is if she comes to terms with who she is first. I felt her emotions. I've been ignoring all the signs. But ever since I turned her, I've coddled her and tried to turn her into what I needed. She has to be who she needs to be. That's what she's been trying to tell me."

"But just leaving her here doesn't seem fair." Carlisle didn't like my approach but it was the only one I could come up with. "She's still a newborn. It could go either way. You could lose her."

"I know, but if I don't give her this, she'll never know what path her life was supposed to take."

"What about you? How can you manage without her? We're not meant to live without our other half. Something fundamental will be missing. Can you handle that?"

"I won't stray, Carlisle. I have no desire for human blood."

He nodded. "I know, but when a vampire loses a mate, dark things can happen. I think you're making a huge mistake."

"He's not," Alice said from the porch. "This is horrible and Bella will hurt but Jasper's right. She won't fully progress in this life until she learns to need her mate."

"Have you seen that?" I asked.

She nodded. "She loves you and she'll love you even more once she realizes who she really is." Alice stepped off the porch and hugged me. "I didn't let you go for nothing."

I could feel the honesty and sincerity in her words. As much as I hated to do this, I had to trust that it would work out. This was the only way for us. I felt that with every fiber of my being.

"Thanks." I smiled. "I'll see you soon."

"Jasper," Carlisle said. "We're leaving tonight. Do you honestly believe Bella can do this on her own?"

"I do." She was the strongest woman I'd ever encountered. She was determined and brave. She made it all the way to Forks and back in a matter of hours, just to catch a glimpse of Charlie.

I watched as Edward walked onto the porch. I knew in my heart Bella wasn't going to be alone.

_You'll take care of my girl?_

He smiled but I felt his apprehension and concern over what I was doing.

I silently thanked him as I got into the truck and pulled out of the driveway. The further I got from Seattle, the shittier I felt. My heart was breaking. Carlisle was right. Something fundamental was missing. I hoped to God I knew what the hell I was doing. If this backfired, Bella would never forgive me.

"You fuckin' did what?" Peter screamed as he threw me through the front door. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I growled as I stood up and centered myself. I didn't expect that and I wasn't about to let it happen again.

"You left the little one in Seattle with the mind reader?" He was pissed. He charged me and pushed me up against the truck.

"Peter, stop!" Char yelled. "Let him explain."

"Let go of me!" I said between clenched teeth.

"You get back in that truck and go get her." He tightened his grip on the throat.

"I'm not gonna tell you again," I growled. "Get off me."

"Peter." Char pleaded.

He let go of me but kicked the side of the truck, leaving a sizable dent. "You can start explainin' Major, but I'll never understand how you could abandon your mate. I would never walk away from Char."

"Char responded to you from day one," I said. "Something changed for Bella when I turned her. I felt it from the beginning but I denied it."

"Bullshit," he spat. "She loves you with everything she has."

"I never said she didn't, but when she was human I was everything she ever wanted in a man. She never worried about disappointing me. She pursued me with a fierceness no other human would do with a vampire. She trusted me and shared everything with me. She never hid anything from me or ran from me, but things are different now. She has to learn to be with me as a mate, as a vampire. She's trying to figure out who she is. She can't do that if she's always trying to please me or do what I think she should do."

"Why can't you be a man and stand by her while she figures it out?"

"Do you think I wanted to leave her? Don't you think it's killin' me to be separated from her? It's like I'm drowning. For the first time since my heart stopped beating, I feel like I need air."

"You're wrong. This isn't right for either of you and it'll end up killing you," Peter shouted. "I'm going to get her."

"No, you're not," Char said as she stepped off the front porch.

"Who's gonna stop me, little woman?"

"Do you really want to go there?" Char growled and Peter backed up.

_Hell, she scared me too._

"I know exactly what Jasper is doing and if you took a moment and thought about it, "_Mr. I Know Everything"_, you'd see it too. He's right. Bella isn't the same girl who fell in love with Jasper. None of us can expect her to be. We're not the same as we were when we were human, but the difference is, we all got to know Bella as a human and we fell in love with her and our vampire minds won't allow us to forget who she was. Bella is stuck in between two worlds. She's trying to be who she was while dealing with who she is. She's had new gifts thrown at her and she's struggling with her blood lust. She misses her family and friends. You have to remember what it was like."

Peter stared at me for a few seconds. He was still pissed as hell at me, but he got it. I could feel it.

"What if this backfires?" he asked.

I shook my head. I couldn't believe that she wouldn't come back to me.

"Edward's in the market for a mate. What if he wants to pick up where he left off all those years ago? What if he sticks it to your girl? Then what?"

"Trying to make me jealous won't work," I said. "Bella would never do that to me."

"Hmm," he said. "She thinks you abandoned her. No telling what that little girl with the big appetite for sex will do. And she's got a willing virgin vamp to push around. Great thinking, Jasper."

"Bella wouldn't cheat on Jasper any more than you'd cheat on me," Char said. "Jasper, we support you. Both of us." She glared at Peter. "Just give him a few days to comprehend true love."

"I can support him but it doesn't mean I have to like his methods. I hope when the little one gets home, she kicks your southern ass all over this state."

"As long as she comes home, I don't care what she does to me. It'll be worth it."

"Well," Char said as she looked at the broken front door. "You two better get to work. I want my front door lookin' better than it ever has before."

"I hate going to Home Depot," Peter said.

"Then you shouldn't have thrown Jasper threw it."

"It was his fault," Peter said.

"What?" I shook my head. "You threw me."

"How about he fixes it and we go and have sex? I'll show you just how much I know about true love."

"Umm. No," Char said. "You need to bond with Jasper and until you get the meaning of their relationship through that thick head, my legs are closed."

"Ah, fuck! Thanks a lot, Major," Peter hissed.

"See you boys later," Char said as she walked through the door less frame. "Play nice."

I picked up the splintered wood and the chards of glass from the porch.

"I do get what you're doing," he said. "I don't completely agree because I don't want to see either of you hurting like this. I can't imagine what it would be like to be away from Char, so I know you're in pain."

"It hurts more than when Maria's evil venom coursed through my veins. I'd rather go through that a hundred times than feel this."

"You really think this is the only way, don't you?"

I nodded.

"Then I'll get you through it."

"Thanks, man. I love her so much. She's gotta come back."

"She will." Peter slapped my back. "Now let's get my wife a new door so I can get some later on."

Hopefully Edward was doing for Bella what Peter and Char were doing for me. As much as I hated thinking about my mate with another man, he was the right choice for her. He was the only other person in this world who loved her _almost _as much as I did.

*****Thanks for reading. I'm about halfway through the next chapter so I'll try to update soon.**


	34. Part II Chpt 17

*****Hello! I'm here. A little late with the update, but here! Thanks to all who are reading and commenting. I appreciate hearing from you. It makes me smile that after all this time you're still with me. Lots of new readers and alerts this week. Welcome! **

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and TwiCarol who beta'd this at lightning speed.**

_Bella_

I dropped to the floor and pulled my knees into my chest.

"Bel—"

I held my hand up and stopped Edward from speaking. I needed to process this. He left me? My mate left me? My creator left me? My fiancé left me?

_Jasper left me?_

That couldn't be. But I knew better than anyone how true it was. I couldn't feel his presence, didn't smell him or sense him. My heart hurt. It was the most intense pain I'd ever felt. Venom didn't burn this much.

"I…I feel like I can't breathe. It's almost like I'm drowning."

"What can I do?" Edward was helpless. I felt his desperation mixing with my own.

"There isn't anything you can do," I said. "Why are you even here?"

"I couldn't leave you."

"Really? What makes this time so different?"

He looked at me and I felt his hurt.

"Sorry," I whispered. "At least you had the courtesy to take me out into the woods and tell me you were leaving."

"I thought you didn't remember any of that."

"Not all of it. Just glimpses but what I do remember is the pain I felt when you left is nothing compared to this."

"That's because I'm not your mate," he said.

"Is that why you left me?"

"That was part of it. I knew who you truly belonged to. Maybe not right away but I knew it wasn't me."

"But now I don't belong to Jasper either. He couldn't walk away if I did."

None of this made any sense. I knew I belonged to him, so how could he leave me behind? Why would he leave me? I thought back to our conversation by the stream.

_"How can I know what you're feeling? You won't let me in." _

_"An hour. Can you give me that?"_

_"No," he said. "You either drop that shield and come with me or—" _

_"Or what?"_

_"Don't come at all." He was so distant and desperate. "I'm not going to beg you to need me."_

"Damn it!" I jumped up.

"What is it?" Edward was alarmed.

"I need to be alone."

"No, Bella," he said. "I want to stay with you and help you."

"You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm a vampire, remember?"

"That makes me worry more," he said. "I know what you're capable of now."

"I won't go far," I said. "I just need to think about what I want to do next. I'll just be out by the lake. I like being there. It calms me and since I don't have my empath to do that anymore, I'll take all the help I can get."

Edward was hesitant.

"Edward, you didn't abandon me. I appreciate that. I won't leave without telling you. I just need to figure out my next move."

"Okay," he said. "I'll come out there in a while to check on you."

"Thanks." I smiled but the last thing I wanted was a keeper. I didn't need him looking after to me.

I ran out to the lake, stripped off my clothes and dove in. I could swim for hours. I usually didn't have to do it alone though. Jasper was always with me. I closed my eyes and remembered one of the times by the dock in Texas. I was so new. I'd only been a vampire for a couple of days.

"Come and get me, cowboy." I laughed as I swam across the lake and to a stack of logs that had fallen in from some large overhead trees. I threw my arms over them, rested my head against the thick wood and waited. It didn't take long before I felt Jasper swim up behind me.

"And where do you think you're goin'?" He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my back against his rock hard chest. That wasn't the only thing that was rock hard.

I wiggled my butt against his cock.

He moved his hands up my stomach to cup my breasts. "You're perfect," he whispered against my neck. "And you're mine."

"Always." I arched my back and leaned over the log. "Please." He knew exactly what I wanted.

Jasper slowly entered me but before he was fully sheathed, he stopped and quickly turned me around. He stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever. I couldn't take it. My body was humming for him. I may have been purring, but I didn't care. I just wanted him inside me.

"Why did you stop?"

"Because I want to look at your beautiful face when I do this." He lifted me up, wrapped my legs around him and entered me as forcefully as he could, never taking his eyes away from mine. They were so golden, so intense. He was beautiful. In that moment he was happy and in love. I was all he'd ever need.

"Jasper," I moaned.

"Bella." I heard a voice in the distance. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" I slowly opened my eyes and tried to focus. My images of Jasper were replaced with Edward. He was standing at the edge of the lake, concern on his face, worry in his heart.

"Hey." I splashed around, trying to shake the image of a naked Jasper out of my head. "Come in. The water is fantastic."

"No thanks." Edward smiled. "I'm not really into swimming in the lake, you know?"

"You don't make a very good nomad."

"Me, a nomad? No, that isn't really the Cullen's style."

I stepped out of the water and toward Edward. He stood frozen and I felt his curiosity, but that quickly turned to embarrassment. He cleared his throat and turned around.

"I didn't realize you were naked," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be silly." I walked around him, giving him another full view of my wet, naked body.

"Geez, Bella!" He turned back toward the lake. "Get dressed."

"Edward." I giggled. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed. There's nothing wrong with being natural. Jasper lets me walk around the forest naked all the time."

"Well, I'm not Jasper."

"Tell me about it." I slipped my panties on and as I was pulling my shirt over my head, Edward turned around and stared at me. I smiled at him because he was curious again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He looked down at my bare legs.

"Jasper's the best I've ever had, so—"

"He's the only man you've ever had."

"And, whose fault is that?" I pulled my jeans up over my hips.

"Bella, listen, I know you're upset about what happened between you and Jasper, but you and I can't—"

"Edward." I laughed at his innocence. "I'm just teasing you. Trust me; I have no desire to be with anyone other than my mate even if he doesn't want me."

"He wants you," Edward said.

"He has a funny way of showing it, doesn't he?"

"He's trying to do what's best for you. I read it in his thoughts."

"How can leaving me here be what's best for me?"

"He wants you to need him. He's hurt that you don't trust him."

"I do trust him."

"You keep running from him," he said. "He's broken and is afraid he's not vamp enough for you."

"He really thinks that?" I pulled my cowboy boots on as Edward continued to fill me in.

"He may have a strange approach but I get what he's doing."

"I don't and I'm not going to play games."

"What does that mean?"

"If Jasper wants me to figure out who I am, then that's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid to ask."

"I'm a vampire and I'm going to start acting like one. I'm going to find out what food source is right for me. He left me free to choose so I'm going to try it the natural way for a bit."

"Ah, the rebellious stage. I remember it well. Carlisle still isn't over my transgressions."

"Well, at least you tried, so that's what I need to do."

"I see." I felt his skepticism.

"You don't think I can do it?"

"I'm sure you can, but—"

"No buts," I stated. "I just want a chance to do this."

"I'm not exactly sure this is what Jasper wanted but he did leave you on your own."

"Not exactly."

"Hmm?"

"He would never leave me on my own. It's his responsibility as my maker and my mate to protect me. He told you to take care of me."

"Well, there's no sense in denying it. You'll feel it."

"You don't have to stay with me. I'm a big girl and I'm a pretty strong vamp too. I'll be fine."

"There is no doubt in my mind you could take care of yourself, but I think I'd like to come along for the journey if you don't mind. Perhaps you could use my help." He tapped on his temple.

"You'd help me feed? Tell me who was bad and didn't deserve to live? We could be vamp vigilantes?"

"Something like that, but I stay strictly animal. I'm not ever going to hurt Carlisle and Esme like that again." I felt his pain. He must have had a pretty interesting history. Maybe I could get him to tell me about it.

"I understand, but I need to see for myself." I headed back toward the house. "I need to get my things."

"I'll pull the car around."

I turned and looked over my shoulder. "Hey Edward, thanks for sticking with me. You're a good friend."

"It's my pleasure." He smiled but I felt his concern.

He didn't have to worry about me. I'd be just fine.

A day later, we were in some giant suite in Oregon. I didn't even know what city we were in. I was letting Edward lead the way. The damn hotel had every luxury imaginable. I would have been happy with a truck and a lake. But my travel companion was high maintenance and insisted we stay in a hotel with a shower and expensive shampoo.

"Are you sure you don't want your own room?" Edward asked.

"We don't sleep. Why do I need my own room?"

"You may want your privacy."

"This place is big enough for me to get some privacy." I looked around. As pretty and lavish as it was, it didn't do anything for me. It wasn't home. I missed my family. I missed Jasper.

"I wish I could read your mind," he said as he sat down on the sofa with me. "But I think I'd know what you were thinking about."

"No, you wouldn't. I'm okay."

"No, you're not." Edward pulled me into his side and wrapped his arm around me. "You're hurting."

"I miss him," I whispered, holding back a sob. "Why did he do this to me?"

He shrugged. "I wish I had the answers you're looking for."

"I'm sorry." I got up. I didn't want to be weak. I wouldn't let Jasper leaving get the better of me. I didn't understand why he did it, but he did and I had to accept it. I would take this opportunity to learn to be Bella.

"For what? You can lean on me. I'm here to help you."

"I don't need help. I'm going to figure out what I want and right now I'm thirsty."

"Oh right, the rebellious stage. If you're absolutely certain, then let's do this."

"I'm certain and it's not rebellious to feed the way we were meant to feed. You don't have to come with me. I can figure out what to do. It's supposed to be in our nature, right? Instinct will take over."

"Usually," he said. "But, I think I better come just in case you lose control and try to take out a whole bus terminal or something equally as public."

A few minutes later, I'd followed Edward out of the hotel and toward the edge of town. It was quiet and dark. I couldn't pick up any human scents. I looked around and tried to focus on something to drink.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It's kind of desolate around here, isn't it?"

"That's kind of the point. You can't really do this out in public. There's this whole code among vamps and we don't expose ourselves. Not ever."

"Oh. I knew that." Jasper hadn't taught me that but why would he? I told him I wanted to stick with the animal diet.

"There's a factory about a mile from here and soon the night shift will be coming in. You know, husbands and fathers trying to feed their families. Moms working while their children sleep so they can help stay afloat. It's a rough economy out there."

"Can we get closer?"

"Sure."

I ran after him and stopped once we hit the entrance to the factory. We stayed concealed in the trees that backed up to the parking lot. Edward leaned against a tree and watched me as I studied the lot and worked out my plan. The last time I did this was a complete disaster and I certainly couldn't have a repeat of that night in the park. I was more controlled this time. I was certain I could do this without making too much of a mess.

A woman stepped out of her car, quickly grabbed her bag from the passenger side and made her way across the large lot.

"Her." I pointed as she walked in our direction.

"She's late for her shift." Edward said. "She can't lose this job. Her husband was recently laid off. Her daughter's birthday is in a few weeks and she wants to be able to get her a decent present. Her twin boys want to continue on with karate and she's worried that she won't be able to swing it. She doesn't know how to tell them."

"A daughter and twin boys?"

"Yes." Edward stared at me. "I'll wait here."

"No, not her," I said. "I'll pick someone else."

Edward nodded.

A few minutes later a man strolled through. I looked at Edward, hoping this man was the one.

"He's had a fight with his wife."

"Oh? Did he hurt her?"

"No," he said. "She's feeling guilty about attending a girl's weekend and leaving him to tend with the kids all weekend. She doesn't want to go."

"And they fought? The jerk made her feel guilty about getting a night to herself?"

"He's trying to convince her to go. She deserves it and he is upset that she feels guilty."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Afraid not." He smiled. "Want to put him out of his misery?"

"No." I huffed. _Why is this so hard?_

We stayed there for another hour and each time I caught the scent of someone I thought I wanted to feed from, Edward gave me their story. It never felt right for me. I could feel every little thing these people were feeling and it was ten times worse when Edward read their thoughts.

"I'm thirsty," I said.

"Well, we've been here for some time. What are you waiting for?"

"Nothing. I don't know."

"Hmm, well, I can hear some deer in the distance. Want to feed with me tonight?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"We always have a choice, Bella." He smiled before taking off into the woods.

_Smug bastard._

*****Hmm…I wonder what Jasper is up to? You'll find out next chapter, but I envision him and Peter shirtless. I'll leave you with that image!**


	35. Part II Chpt 18

*********I'm here! Thanks to everyone who read and commented on that last chapter. So many of you say such nice things. I appreciate your words of kindness and love you all for being so patient with my updating schedule.**

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz for prereading and TwiCarol for being the best beta a girl could ask for!**

_Jasper_

Three weeks, 21 days, 504 hours…

It may as well have been an eternity. I didn't know what I did before Bella. How did I exist? Did my life even mean anything at all without her?

The days were long but the nights were never-ending. It was already a curse to live this life as it was. Our minds never shut down and each day seamlessly flowed into the next. The days had always lingered for me. For decades, I tried to find some peace. I searched for a quiet that never came. I spent years exploring a reason for what I was doing here. I could never find one. That all changed when Bella showed up at the Cullen house. She was everything I'd ever need. I'd never have to question my purpose again. Knowing she was my other half was the only thing that kept me from losing my mind. I could wait this out.

The sun had just set, so I decided to go back out and work on my new project. It was the only thing that was keeping me sane. Peter was already out there when I started to make sure the ground was ready. He was cementing the front steps. He'd already taken his shirt off. I followed suit as I dug into the dirt along the driveway. We didn't get hot, but it just seemed like the right way to work. I knew Char enjoyed it. I felt her lust spike every time she came out to check on us. Her desire was more for Peter, but I knew she liked my chest and ab muscles too.

He gave me a pity smile and nodded, but didn't say anything. He hadn't said much to me in a few days. It was better that way. His dismal emotions said it all. I didn't need to hear the words too. We'd wait until the sun set every evening and then we'd come out and work. I knew he was pacifying me. He was letting me work my frustration and anxiety out with my hands. I didn't ask for his help, but if I was being totally honest, it felt right to have him by my side. Even if we weren't in battle, he was here for me, the way he'd always been. The same way I'd be there for him.

I often worked well into the evening and would stop just before the sun came up. It was a large property and what I had planned took up much of the long driveway leading to the house. Perhaps the project was nothing more than a symbol. Maybe it would get lost in translation but it would always mean something to me.

After about an hour, he finally spoke.

"It's been three weeks," he said.

_Like I wasn't aware._

"And?"

"I think you've proven your point. You can go and get her now."

_As if it was that easy._

I shook my head and smoothed out the dirt beneath my feet. Tomorrow night I'd be ready to start laying the stone pavers. It had taken me almost a week to pick out just the right ones.

"Did you run the electric? I want the lights to line the whole thing." I had a whole vision in my head and I would stop at nothing to make sure it was exactly the way I wanted it.

"I did it the other day." I could feel his annoyance.

"I found the perfect landscape lights."

"Jasper, I don't give a fuck about lights and pavers," he said. "I humored you last week, but now this is an obsession. Stop fuckin' around over here and go and get Bella. Enough is enough."

"Don't you think I want more than anything to have her here with me? To hold her and tell her how much I love her?"

"Then do it."

"I can't," I said. "We've been through this a hundred times. Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Like I said, you proved your point. You left her to fend for herself. I'm sure she got the message loud and clear, but she's too damn stubborn to come back. And, this..." He pointed down the driveway. "Well, it's all pretty and everything and Char loves it, but it ain't bringin' her back. No way is some stupid—"

"I'm not proving a point." I threw my shovel down and cut him off. "If I were, I never would have left Seattle. You can't possibly know what it was like to be with her every day. To feel how disappointed she was in herself because she couldn't be the woman she thought I wanted her to be." I shook my head. "She couldn't make the decisions she needed to make if she thought I was constantly watching her. Bella is too strong of a woman and too powerful a vampire to be held back, even by me."

"What are you going to do if she decides she is a human drinker? Can you live with that?"

"Will I have a choice? She's my mate. I have to accept whatever life she chooses. But, she has to be the one to come to me and tell me that's what she wants. She can't pretend that she's who she is because she thinks it's what I want. She's been struggling since she opened her eyes. You know that."

"I don't know," Peter said. "It doesn't feel right."

_Tell me about it._

"She'll live with regret and guilt. She'll always wonder if she made the right decision. I'm not going to be the reason she lives in doubt and frustration."

"Man, you are either the most selfless person I've ever met or the stupidest bastard I've ever seen. I guess only time will tell."

"I guess so." I had nothing but time.

"Do you even want to know what she's up to?"

"I know what she's up to." I picked the shovel back up and continued my project. I needed to get this done.

"The Seer or the mind reader?"

"Both," I said. "But, neither of them are very forthcoming. Edward's loyalty lies with Bella, as it should, but he does text me to tell me she's okay. Alice won't give me too many details but she will say that Bella is driving Edward crazy."

"That's my little one." Peter smiled.

I nodded.

"Where are they?"

I shrugged. Edward didn't give me many details, but I didn't ask either. As long as I knew she was okay, that was all that mattered. I was afraid if I knew too much I'd end up going to her. If I did that, leaving would have been for nothing.

"I don't know how you're doing this because if this were Char, I'd be tearing forests apart and killing anyone who stood in my way."

"Jasper has always been more civilized," Char said as she stepped out from the house. She looked around at the progress we'd made over the last few nights. I felt her satisfaction but that quickly turned to something else when she took in both Peter and myself. What was so enticing about two vampires digging in the dirt?

"I only wish I could bring you a pitcher of lemonade." She smiled.

"Is that the only thing you wish?" Peter arched a brow.

Char was hardly shy, but I certainly wasn't expecting what came out of her mouth next.

"I wish you could sweat. There's something about two really hot and sweaty construction workers that really do it for me. The two of you shirtless drives me insane."

Peter growled and I assumed it was because he could smell his wife's arousal. I tried to stay focused, but Char kept going. "Want to hear my fantasy? I've been thinking about it ever since you two started this project."

"I'd love to hear it," Peter said.

I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear it.

Char came up from behind Peter and wrapped her arms around his waist. They were both so aroused now that I suddenly felt hot. She whispered into his ear knowing full-well that I could hear everything. Peter and Char were openly sexual. Most vampires were and some even shared among their covens. I knew they weren't into swinging so I was safe.

"I come outside with the lemonade." She moved her hands down Peter's chest. "But, you're not thirsty, not for lemonade anyway."

"Fuck." Peter whispered as Char rubbed her body against his.

I continued to work on the task in front of me, but they weren't making it easy. Actually, they were ruining my self-imposed therapy.

"In my fantasy, Jasper likes to watch," she said. "Sometimes he participates. I kind of like that."

Peter growled.

"It's just a fantasy, baby. Unless…"

"Yeah." I held up my hand. "I'm fine here. Really, you two should act out the sweaty construction worker thing someplace else, like in your bedroom."

"I'm just teasing you, Major." Char giggled and I felt her amusement.

"'Well, stop teasing me, woman!" Peter threw her over his shoulder and headed for the forest. "You're welcome to watch." He called out before disappearing into the woods.

"No thanks." I laughed. Char did have a way of making me forget my troubles even if only for a few minutes.

A few hours later, Peter and Char still hadn't resurfaced, but then again, I didn't expect to see them for a day or so anyway. I had wired the new landscape lights and started spacing out the slate pavers. I worked my way to the bottom of the long driveway just as the sun was beginning to rise. It was time to call it a night and head for the forest. I needed to hunt before the sun was in full blast.

As I was about to take off, I felt my phone vibrate with a text.

_I've seen the finished product and I've also seen why you're doing it ;)_

_Alice_

I shoved the phone back in my pants and looked back up at the house. The lights were perfectly spaced. I imaged what it would look like at twilight when everything was quiet and the night air was settling in. I could almost see Bella walking up the new _path_ into my waiting arms.

*****Yes, I know its short, but it serves its purpose.**

*****Two quick things…**

**You know I'm getting old. Fate Has Brought Us Here has been nominated for the Best Classic Jasper/Bella story over on The Everything Is Bigger In Texas Awards. So many of you have been with me from the VERY beginning. And, I know Fate has been the story that turned many of you Team Jasper, so if you want, I won't be sad if you vote for the old girl. Jaspersdarlins dot blogspot dot com**

**I'm also working on a Carlisle/Bella Christmas oneshot…Silent Night, Unexpected Night. You can stop by cullen818 dot blogspot dot com for details and to see the gorgeous banner TwiCarol made me. **


	36. Part II Chpt 19

*****I want to thank all of you who've commented and read this story, especially to those of you who truly got what I was trying to do with this fic. Your SUPPORT means the world!**

*****Thanks to Lady Tazz and TwiCarol. The story wouldn't have gone as far as it did without the two of you.**

*****I don't own Twilight or the characters.**

_Bella_

"Edward!" I yelled. "It's been a month now!"

"Trust me, Bella. I know exactly how long it has been." I could feel his frustration. He wasn't the only one.

We'd been roaming the country, well, at least half of it, for four weeks. I was having a great time. We'd checked out museums, historical sites, and stopped in Chicago and explored Edward's roots. As each day passed, I felt I became stronger, not dependent on anyone. I missed Jasper so much it made me nauseous, but I learned a valuable lesson on this journey. Jasper was part of me, his venom coursed through my veins. I loved him with every fiber of my being. But, I was Bella. As much as I wanted and needed my mate, he didn't define who I was or who I wanted to be.

A month ago, I would have found that revelation disturbing, but now it made sense. We can love deeply but still be who we need to be.

"I'm thirsty and you won't let me feed."

"It's my fault you're picky?" He shook his head. "I've given you plenty of opportunities to feed the way you want to feed." More frustration.

"You make me lose my appetite!"

"Okay." Edward looked around the dark streets. "How about her?" He pointed to a woman coming out of a coffee shop. She looked to be no more than my age. "I won't say anything."

"I seriously doubt that." He always had something to say. No wonder he was still single.

I looked at the girl and I could feel her apprehension as she made her way down the street. She was probably nervous about being out alone. She should have thought about that sooner. The streets were a very dangerous place. I kept a safe distance as I followed her.

"Where is she headed?"

"Now you want my help?" Edward smugly asked.

"Just tell me."

"She's parked about two blocks from here. She met with some friends but wanted to leave early. She's picking up her mother at the airport tomorrow morning."

"Don't tell me anymore."

"Well, you might want to hear this."

"Oh, for the love of— what Edward? What is it that I need to know? Is she going to rescue kittens from a burning building? Maybe she's going to save the Rainforest."

"She is getting married next Saturday to the love of her life."

I glanced down at my own engagement ring. I didn't get a very long time to celebrate.

"Her mother is flying in to help her with last minute preparations. She's so happy."

I shook my head. "I can't do this."

"So, pick someone else."

"There is no one else. Even if you weren't here to inform me, everyone has a story, a life, a reason for living. The strange thing is, I don't even want to feed from humans."

"Well, then what are we doing here?"

_Hell if I know!_

"My throat doesn't burn. I'm really fine with feeding from animals. Come to think of it, I haven't popped up my shield by accident the whole time I've been with you. Why is that?"

He shrugged but I could feel his desire to speak.

"What do you think?"

"I think you're learning to control your instincts and actions, but I also think you don't need to hide from me. You're not the least bit worried you'll disappoint me. I'm not Jasper."

"No, you're not." I reached inside my pocket and pulled out my phone. "He's texted me and called me several times but I was too mad to answer him."

"I've spoken to him a few times. He misses you but wants you to do what you have to do for you."

"I don't want to do any of this without him." He needed to know that leaving me was unacceptable. I understood why he did it, but it wasn't his choice to make. If we were going to stay together forever, then it had to be forever.

"Then don't," Edward said. "You both needed some space. I know from talking to you both, you don't want to be apart. You know what else I know?"

"Enlighten me."

"You don't want to feed from humans and it has nothing to do with me reading their minds. If you really had a desire to drink from them, nothing I said would've mattered. You may have had a slip-up when you were new, but that happens to most of us. You never went back because it wasn't what you desired."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I'm so much wiser than you."

"Only because you're older than me."

He laughed. "You're pretty wise too. You just needed help getting there."

Edward was right.

"What should I do now?"

"You could call Jasper. I'm sure he'd come and get you."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I can't wait for him to come and get me. I need to go to him now. We've let this go on long enough. I'm going home. I need to get back to my stubborn mate and tell him exactly what I want."

I could feel the relief pouring off Edward in droves. _What the hell is that about?_

"What?"

"Nothing. I think it's a great idea." He smiled. "I'll take you."

"Why are you so relieved?" He seemed awfully anxious to get rid of me.

"You're not the easiest person to deal with. You were a lot less work when you were human, well, except when you were in the path of out-of-control vans or the object of deranged vampires. And, let's not forget about your gift."

"I haven't used my shield on you."

"Not that gift. You project like crazy. Worse than Jasper ever did."

"I do?" I hadn't realized I could project. "Am I really that bad?"

"I _miss _Jasper." He shook his head. "Far more than I should."

"Sorry. This trip has probably been a nightmare for you. You don't have to take me to Texas. I can find my way."

"The trip wasn't bad, Bella." He took my hand. "I'm glad we got to spend this time together. You're an amazing woman and I'm happy I got the pleasure of knowing you."

"We'll still be friends, right? You'll come visit me?"

"Always." He smiled. "You're stuck with me for an eternity."

"You too."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't ever want to take another road trip with you again."

"You had fun."

"When I wasn't forced to bathe in a stream."

"How about how many of those fancy hotels you forced on me? You really should get in touch with your nomad side. What if your mate likes nature?"

"The universe wouldn't be that cruel."

"It would serve you right, Edward Cullen."

I pulled him into a hug. "Thanks for sticking with me and looking after me."

"You could've done it all on your own and I honestly believe you would have come to the same conclusions."

"I think you're right, but I would've been very lonely." I would never forget the time I'd spent with Edward. He helped me to understand and accept who I was.

"We're not that far from Texas." He glanced at his watch. "If we get in the car now, we could be there by tomorrow night."

If I were still human, my heart would be racing and my stomach would be fluttery over the fact that I'd be coming face to face with the only man I've ever loved in less than twenty-four hours.

"You're projecting again. And, now I'm excited to see Jasper." He laughed. "Come on, let's go."

The ride to our destination was a long one. Edward did all of the driving and we didn't talk much. He was giving me my space and letting me work out my fears and anxiety. Jasper and I had a long journey in front of us. I wasn't going to just get over him leaving me, even if I did understand his motives. I knew he did what he thought was the right thing and I was certain he'd changed his mind when he started texting me and calling, but I was too stubborn to let him explain. I was hurt and not ready to deal with it.

But, things were unusual for vampires and their mates. Our minds process things in a different way than a human would. We can look at a situation from all angles and even if we didn't like what we saw, sometimes it was just the way things needed to be. We had nothing but time on our hands, so being separated for a month, year or even a decade didn't affect us as much as one would think.

Would I ever want to be away from him again? Absolutely not.

Would I have preferred we worked this out together? You can bet your ass I would have.

I learned a lot during our time apart. I wasn't perfect. I was a newborn, still learning and finding my way. And, even though I was no longer human, I was still going to make mistakes. As Jasper would, too. He made a big mistake leaving me in Seattle, but he had his reasons. I could respect his decisions the same way he'd always respected me.

Looking back on the first few months of my newborn stage, Jasper did everything he possibly could to help me. He gave me my space, held me when I slipped up, forgave me when I couldn't turn to him or asked him to give into temptation with me. He told me he'd support whatever decisions I made about my diet. What else could I have asked of him?

Perhaps it wasn't my fault that I couldn't trust him. Maybe I was wrong to shut him out, but I was so new. He did the only thing he could do at the time. I was a stronger woman for it. I knew I could survive on my own now.

I glanced at Edward who was trying to find a good enough radio station. _Well, almost on my own._

But, I didn't have to be alone. I had a mate that I was lucky enough to find from the very beginning of this existence. A mate who wanted to share in my fears and screw-ups. One who would always be there, even if we weren't together.

Unconditional love. That was what Jasper and I had. I felt it more now than I ever had before. It was all so clear now. I got it and I would never forget it.

"I'm home."

"Yes, love, you are." Edward parked the car a few feet from the driveway.

"You're not going to come with me?" I could feel the goodbye.

"You don't need me."

"I'll always need you."

"And, I'll always be there, but right now, you know exactly what you have to do."

He got out of the car and with vampire speed had my door opened and me out of the car. I giggled even if my head didn't spin anymore. He laughed at me and I felt his amusement.

"Was it always this easy being with you?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'm afraid I didn't do well when you were human. I was always so worried about protecting you that I missed much of who you were. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay." I smiled. "I'm kinda glad those memories have faded. This is the only Edward I want to know. The one who really sees me."

"I do." He kissed my cheek. "You're fantastic and Jasper Whitlock is a very lucky man."

When we got to the walkway in front of the house, I nearly lost my breath. _Where did that come from?_ Was this how Jasper occupied his time? I could feel the love and dedication that went into constructing such a masterpiece.

"It's a really nice path." Edward smiled.

"It's the path to my soul." I was so overwhelmed. I didn't know how I was finding my voice.

"I think you should follow it."

I nodded.

"Goodbye, Bella." Edward let go of my hand. "Thank you."

"For what?" I was confused. He was the one who helped me.

"Redemption."

"But?"

I felt the wind in my face as he took off toward the car.

"No problem," I whispered.

The path was illuminated with the most eloquent lights I'd ever seen. It was almost as if they were lighting the way to my destiny. I allowed my eyes to wonder up the walkway, but I stood frozen at the bottom. I inhaled deeply. He smelled so good. Once I looked up, my eyes connected with the golden ones staring back at me from the top of the path.

_Love, honor, respect, commitment, need, desire, lust, mine…_

I wasn't sure what I was feeling or if I was projecting. Were these Jasper's emotions, too? For all I knew, they could have been both of our emotions. Apparently, we had some things to work out with being empaths as well.

I didn't know if I should run into his arms or let him come to me. I was standing not twenty feet from him. I could feel how much he loved me, how happy he was to see me, but I couldn't move.

So many emotions were swirling between the two of us. The air was covered in our feelings, but the most relief I felt was when I realized I was no longer drowning or gasping for air. For the first time in a month I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

We had an eternity to figure out the rest.

*****It was always my intention to end it here. I'm thinking that's not going to fly with you all, so I'll do one more chapter in Jasper's POV as soon as I can.**

*****I'm also toying with a little outtake of Char's sexy fantasy;)**


	37. Part II Chpt 20

***Thanks to all of you who read and reviewed. Even those of you who were nasty in a review and then disabled your PM's so I couldn't respond. Lol I appreciate all of you who constantly take the time to read my work.

***Thanks to Lady Tazz and TwiCarol. It doesn't get done without the two of you.

***I know some of you are disappointed that it's over, but I can't keep writing this one forever. This is where it feels right to end it for me. And, if the chapter had a theme this is what it would be…

_**Love means never having to say you're sorry.**_** Love Story – Erich Segal**

_Jasper_

It didn't seem possible, but there she was standing at the bottom of the path. She'd come back to me. I had no right to expect she would after I left her in Seattle. But, I had hoped against all hope she'd figure out who she was and what she wanted. I'd always wanted to be who she needed.

She stood hesitantly at the end of the property. I could feel her apprehension and uncertainty. But then, as if something seemed to click for both of us at the same time, we started to walk toward one another. There was nothing rushed or hurried about our journey. We didn't even use vampire speed, it wasn't necessary. It was as if we both knew to meet in the middle. What a concept._ Too bad I hadn't thought of that a month ago._

We stopped and stared at one another. I monitored her emotions. She was happy, hopefully to see me, but she was also afraid. That saddened me.

"Why fear?"

"Hmm?" She continued to look into my eyes. I noticed hers were the most beautiful shade of amber. Not a hint of red to be found.

I tentatively reached for her hand. She didn't pull away, so I felt encouraged. "I fully intended to feel anger, fury, betrayal and displeasure coming from you, but I feel your fear. What are you afraid of?"

"That you don't want me here."

I shook my head. Of course she would think that. I'd abandoned her in Seattle, but now having her here, standing in front of me, I couldn't remember what my reasons even were. They all seem so senseless now. All I did was waste a month of our time together.

"I want you here. I've always wanted you with me."

"You left."

"I fucked up." I ran my fingers through my hair.

She nodded. She agreed with me a little more than I would've liked.

"I let my pride get in the way. I wanted to be the one who saved you." I realized now she didn't need to be saved. She just needed the room to become who she was meant to be. "I'm sorry."

"I know." She pressed her hand to my cheek. "I can feel your guilt."

"I thought I was doing the right thing."

"I can feel that too, Jasper," she said. "Looking back, I felt everything you were feeling from the second I opened my eyes to this new life. I didn't realize it, but that's why I was having such a difficult time adjusting."

"You were feeding off my emotions and you were trying to do what you thought I wanted. You must have been so confused trying to decipher everything that was going on around you on top of being a newborn."

She nodded. "It was such a crazy time and not being able to reign in my own emotions made it ten times worse. I didn't know I was feeling everything you were too."

"I should have figured it out sooner."

"How could you?" She ran her thumb along my bottom lip. "We didn't know there was a possibility for you to pass your gift on to me."

"I missed your touch." I closed my eyes and allowed myself to get lost in the moment.

"I missed you." She gently brushed her lips to against mine. "I felt like I was—"

"Drowning." I finished for her.

"Exactly."

"I need to kiss you." I tangled my fingers in her hair and slowly explored her mouth with my tongue. It was as if I was kissing her for the very first time. "I didn't mean to abandon you, Bella. I let my ego win."

"You gave me the space to figure out who I am."

"It was my intention for that to happen, but I didn't need to leave. I was frustrated."

"You just went about it all wrong," she said. "When I came back from the woods that day you left, I wanted to tell you that I understood where you were coming from. I realized how wrong it was for me to shut you out with my shield, even if I wasn't doing it intentionally. I knew it hurt you."

"It did. I left because I was angry and I knew you would never have the freedom to figure things out with me constantly hovering, especially if you could feel everything I was feeling. I was never disappointed in you, Bella. I could never be. Look at the remarkable woman you are."

"I am pretty amazing." She giggled.

"I missed your laugh."

She looked down at the path and then back to the house. "It looks like you kept yourself pretty busy."

"I would've gone stark raving mad if I didn't find a way to pass the time. Peter and Char left shortly after I finished the path because they were afraid of what I might do next."

"Where did they go?"

"They didn't say. But, they said they'd be back when you came back." I laughed. "Apparently I projected my nasty mood one too many times."

She smiled and I felt her satisfaction.

I arched a brow.

"Sorry, but I'm glad you were miserable. It'll teach you never to leave me again."

"I'm afraid you're stuck with me for eternity, if you'll have me."

"We're mates, Jasper," she said. "And, you know as well as I do, we can't be apart. You did what you thought was right at the time, but I can feel your remorse. Luckily, you have an eternity to make that up to me. I don't intend to let you forget it easily."

I smiled because she was always a feisty little one.

"You may not be smiling in ten years." She laughed. "You know what they say about payback."

"As long as I have you, I don't care how much groveling and apologizing I have to do." I pulled her against my chest and stroked her hair. "I won't ever leave you again."

"You better not, because next time I will hunt you down and I _will _hurt you." She squeezed me tighter. "I can't exist without you, Jasper. You're everything to me. Neither one of us is perfect, but whatever happens between us, we have to handle it together. As a couple."

"I won't ever leave. I promise."

"And, I won't ever run away from you again. I know part of the reason why you left. I ran from you one too many times, but I won't do that again. You're here to help me and I finally understand you don't need me to be perfect."

"You are perfect, but I know what you mean. You may slip up in your journey, and that's okay. I'll never be disappointed. I'll always support you."

"I should've trusted that. It's not like you haven't told me before."

"We all make mistakes."

"We learn from them. I know you feel bad about leaving me, but you did what you thought was right at the time. You hurt me more than anyone ever has and I needed to come to terms with that."

"I'll suffer for that for the rest of my existence. I'll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you."

"You have to find peace with it. I have. If I couldn't have forgiven you, I wouldn't have come back here. None of us are perfect. We're going to hurt one another through the years. How could we not? I honestly believe you were trying to help me in the best way you knew how."

"You are the most amazing woman I've ever encountered. You're strong, brave, beautiful and smart. You've always been the most incredible creature to me."

"You know what I've learned in our time apart?"

"What's that, beautiful?"

"I need you just as much as a human needs air. I can lean on you, love you, let you protect me and take care of me the same way you'll let me take care of you. I also learned its okay for me to screw up. You've been exactly where I've been before."

"More times than I would've liked. I can already feel you're not going to struggle the way I have."

"But, if you were to slip up again, I would accept that and help you move on. We're going to grow and learn every day. We'll always have one another."

"Always." I stroked her cheek. "I don't deserve you."

"Yes, you do. We deserve each other. We hit a bump in the road, but we're moving past it. I love you. I know you can feel that."

I focused on her. "You're projecting."

"I think so." She smiled.

"I'd be able to feel your love either way, but having it projected on me makes it so much stronger. I'm so used to feeling what everyone else feels that sometimes it becomes dull and I've learned to block out so much. Obviously, I've never encountered anyone who could project anything on me. It's fascinating."

"Can you feel this?" She arched a brow at me and then slowly licked her lips. She was projecting more lust than I've ever experienced. And, I've experienced a lot of lust in my life time.

"Feel it? You're going to make me come right on the spot."

"No." She toned down the lust. "That's no good."

"You're right." I picked her up and with vamp speed I ran into the house and up the stairs. "I can think of a much better place to come." I placed her on her feet and ran my hands under the little, black sundress she was wearing, seeking out the tiny thong I knew I'd find. With one swift jerk of my hand they were shredded into black pieces of confetti.

Bella laughed softly as she reached for the buckle of my jeans. "I can feel how much you want me."

"I'm trying to take my time, but you smell so good and it's been so long." I lowered my lips to her neck. "I'll try to behave."

"Oh no, cowboy." She ripped my shirt from my body; buttons flew across the room as she tossed it on the floor. "We have plenty of time to behave later. I want it the way you know I like it."

"Fuck, Bella!"

I reached for the zipper of her dress and quickly lowered it before trailing my fingers down her spine. She wasn't wearing a bra. I smirked as I ran my hand over her bare ass. Her skin was smooth and soft. I missed touching her.

_I miss so many things._

I moved my hands up to her shoulders and slipped the dress from her body, watching as dropped to her feet. She kicked her cowboy boots off as I took a step back to take in her body. It was as perfect as I'd remembered. I ran my tongue over my lips as I stared at her eager pussy. Her taste was exquisite especially when she came on my tongue.

She took my hand and pulled me toward her, running her hands down my chest and pushing my pants over my hips.

"Later, baby," she whispered. "You can lick me as long as you'd like."

I placed my hand on her breasts and traced her nipples with my fingertips. "You always know what I want." I stepped out of my jeans and kicked them out of the way.

She closed her eyes and threw back her head. "I need you."

I spun her around and bent her over the dresser. "I can feel how much you want me to fuck you." I moved my hand down her back, over her ass and between her legs, feeling how wet she was. She tightened around my fingers as I pushed them inside her heat.

"Yes," she screamed.

"Yes, what?" I moved my fingers in and out of her.

"Fuck me!" she moaned. "Now!"

I moved closer to her body, placing one hand on the small of her back as I used my other to ram my cock deep inside her pussy.

"Jasper!" She screamed as she braced herself against the dresser for my next thrust. "Yes…just like that. Hard and fast."

I continued to slam into her, releasing the past few weeks of pain and frustration over being separated from her with each plunge. My mate was back and I intended on claiming her over and over again. I gripped her hair and pressed her face against the cherry wood of the dresser as I swiveled my hips, hitting her walls just the way I knew she liked. She always wanted it fast and rough.

"Fuck, baby," I yelled. "Missed this so much."

"So close, Jas…touch me!" Her voice was frantic and raw with need. I could feel her desperation.

I reached around to her center and slipped my fingers inside her slick pussy, finding her sweet little clit. I ran my finger over it, lightly pinching it and feeling her body tense.

"You gonna cum for me?" I whispered against her ear.

"Yes, now, Oh God…"

I licked and sucked her neck as I wrapped my hand around her waist and pulled her upright and flush against my body, switching the angle from which I was fucking her. She reached up over her head and twisted her fingers in my hair, the way she always did.

"Fuck!" I screamed out my release as I held her as close to my body as I could. When I calmed down, I gently pulled out of her and carried her over to the bed…_our bed._

We lay cuddled against one another, trying to process what had just happened between us. One minute we were down at the path and the next we were naked and connected.

"Jasper," she finally spoke. "I'm home."

I closed my eyes and pushed back the lump that was forming in my throat. I knew exactly what she meant. It had nothing to do with this house or this bed. I was overcome with so many feelings and we had so much to deal with, but for right now, I'd take this instant.

"You are home, baby." I pulled her closer to me. "I'll do better, I promise."

"You better."

"Welcome home, my Isabella."

*****Thanks for taking yet another Jasper/Bella journey with me.**


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